I found your website, and I’ve been reading it a lot. I’m overwhelmed with grief and shame.\u00a0I’ve been married for over 10 years. I love my husband and children dearly.<\/p>\n
Before we were\u00a0married I committed fornication. He doesn’t know and assumed I was a virgin. We never spoke about it.<\/p>\n
I’ve repented of my sins and I’ve never broken my marriage vows, but I have an overwhelming feeling that my entire life is a lie by not confessing this to him. I keep reading to live in truth and God’s light or He is not with you.\u00a0If I don’t clear this up, is God still with me? I don’t want to hurt anyone but if this is what God is asking of me I want to be obedient.<\/p>\n
Please help me and pray for me. My soul is very burdened.<\/p>\n
Thank you.<\/p>\n\t
You are correct. Committing fornication was sinful and I’m glad to hear that you changed. What matters to God is that you left your sins behind and started living righteously (I John 3:9).<\/p>\n
But I’m puzzled. Why do you conclude that you have to share every detail about your life in order to be truthful? If your husband never asked about your past sexual experiences prior to marrying you, then I would conclude that it didn’t matter to him. What matters to your husband is that you are faithful to him.<\/p>\n
Nowhere in the Bible does God say that in order to be forgiven of your sins you have to confess those sins to another person. We are encouraged to talk about our faults with brethren and to pray for each other (James 5:16), but forgiveness comes when we turn from our sins and confess our wrongs to God.<\/p>\n
From what you said, God forgave you a long time ago. But you refuse to let go and accept that your past doesn’t define your present or your future. Why make your husband miserable about a sin that you committed before you ever married him?<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I found your website, and I’ve been reading it a lot. I’m overwhelmed with grief and shame.\u00a0I’ve been married for over 10 years. I love my husband and children dearly. Before we were\u00a0married I committed fornication. He doesn’t know and assumed I was a virgin. We never spoke about it. I’ve repented of my…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572,703],"class_list":["post-34225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication","tag-guilt"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":21632,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-thought-i-was-married-but-found-out-i-wasnt-i-had-cheated-on-the-man-i-thought-was-my-husband-does-that-prevent-me-from-marrying-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":34225,"position":0},"title":"I thought I was married but found out I wasn’t. I had cheated on the man I thought was my husband. Does that prevent me from marrying him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 9, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about committing adultery while being married. My boyfriend and I believed that we were married and had sexual intercourse. But during that time I strayed and committed adultery with another guy. I know this is a sin and I continually asked for forgiveness from God\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":70138,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-do-something-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":34225,"position":1},"title":"Did I do something wrong?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 4, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello! I have a question for you guys: Does having sex with someone makes you a married couple? If not, then am I obligated to marry the man I had sex with? I have a doubt in my heart that's been tormenting me. I had sex with some guys\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27764,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-adultery-divorced-my-husband-and-married-another-man-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":34225,"position":2},"title":"I committed adultery, divorced my husband, and married another man. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 14, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I married in my twenties. We remained married for almost twenty years. I was the one who committed adultery and decided to leave my husband and pursue a life alone. However, I met a man, fell in love, and I divorced my husband and remarried. I am a born\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31065,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-fornication-but-then-my-boyfriend-dumped-me-does-that-mean-i-can-never-get-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":34225,"position":3},"title":"I committed fornication, but then my boyfriend dumped me. Does that mean I can never get married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 30, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My ex-boyfriend and I committed fornication. We both knew it was wrong to do what we were doing, but the feelings just got the best of us. We both understand now that we have committed a very grievous sin against God. I have really struggled with the guilt and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":68494,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-tell-my-husband-that-i-had-an-affair-before-we-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":34225,"position":4},"title":"Do I tell my husband that I had an affair before we married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 23, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, and good day, I don't know if you can read this email or answer it, but I still want to confess my sins to someone.\u00a0I stumbled upon your post online about adultery and fornication. Here is my story and question: I have been a woman who believes in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28224,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-person-who-married-a-person-who-had-no-right-to-marry-divorce-and-marry-someone-else\/","url_meta":{"origin":34225,"position":5},"title":"Can a person who married a person who had no right to marry, divorce, and marry someone else?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If a man marries a woman who was not supposed to remarry because she and her husband had committed adultery, can the man in the second marriage divorce her because of her continued adulteries during the second marriage and be able to marry again? Answer: When a person marries\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34225","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34225"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34225\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}