{"id":33741,"date":"2012-07-11T21:16:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-12T02:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=33741"},"modified":"2024-11-26T20:13:26","modified_gmt":"2024-11-27T02:13:26","slug":"how-can-i-make-him-want-only-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-make-him-want-only-me\/","title":{"rendered":"How can I make him want only me?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

My boyfriend is a Muslim, and I’m a Christain. He says he loves me but still flirts with other girls. Our graduation is fast approaching, but he prefers hanging out with his numerous friends. I do not know what to do, or how to make him want me more than anything.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

People don’t typically change unless they choose to do so. You can’t\u00a0make<\/em>\u00a0this boy love only you. If he prefers his friends over you now, that would continue even if you got married. If he is flirting with other girls, that will continue or go further, even if he married you. The problem is not him, but you expecting him to be different solely because you want it.<\/p>\n

But I don’t think you realize what you are chasing after. The Muslim religion allows a man to have up to four wives, so Muslim men generally do not see themselves as limited to only one woman.<\/p>\n

“Wives in Islamic societies face great difficulty in suing for divorce, but husbands can be released from their vows virtually on demand, in some places merely by saying “I divorce you” three times. Though in most Muslim states, divorces are entitled to alimony, in Pakistan it lasts only three months, long enough to ensure the woman isn’t pregnant.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

Fear of poverty keeps many Muslim women locked in bad marriages, as does the prospect of losing their children. Typically, fathers win custody of boys over the age of six and girls after the onset of puberty.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

Women’s rights are compromised further by a section in the Koran, sura 4:34, that has been interpreted to say that men have “pre-eminence” over women or that they are “overseers” of women. The verse goes on to say that the husband of an insubordinate wife should first admonish her, then leave her to sleep alone and finally beat her.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

Each year hundreds of Muslim women die in “honor killings”– murders by husbands or male relatives of women suspected of disobedience, usually a sexual indiscretion or marriage against the family’s wishes. Typically, the killers are punished lightly, if at all.” [Lisa Beyer,\u00a0The Women of Islam<\/a>, Time World].<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There is a reason Paul warns you not to get yourself in a situation that might force you to compromise your faith. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?<\/em>” (II Corinthians 6:14).<\/p>\n\t

Response:<\/h2>\n

Thank you so much. It kind of makes more sense to me now. Apart from the difference in religion, you can’t make someone change just because you want them to. I guess I’ll just chill out a bit and give him the space and freedom he wants.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: My boyfriend is a Muslim, and I’m a Christain. He says he loves me but still flirts with other girls. Our graduation is fast approaching, but he prefers hanging out with his numerous friends. I do not know what to do, or how to make him want me more than anything. Answer: People don’t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149],"class_list":["post-33741","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7275,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-a-guy-i-knew-for-less-than-two-weeks\/","url_meta":{"origin":33741,"position":0},"title":"Should I marry a guy I knew for less than two weeks?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was on an internship in a Muslim country. Only ten days were left before the completion of my internship. I met this guy several times. He cared a lot about me. I never received this kind of care from any other person before. In those few days, we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43263,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-love-a-muslim-man-but-we-wont-be-seeing-each-other-much-what-do-you-think\/","url_meta":{"origin":33741,"position":1},"title":"I love a Muslim man, but we won’t be seeing each other much. What do you think?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I'm 20 years old and, though baptized as a Catholic and brought up as one. I have never really practiced it. Because of problems and issues while growing up, I lost faith and resented God. But that has changed and though not baptized as a Christian, I would\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31637,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-a-christian-becomes-the-second-wife-of-a-muslim-then-would-that-be-acceptable-to-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":33741,"position":2},"title":"If a Christian becomes the second wife of a Muslim, then would that be acceptable to God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been reviewing your responses to questions about marriage. I know what you've stated about polygamous marriages. If I may explain my situation, I want to know if this applies to me. I have children with a man who converted to Islam. He and I decided to marry,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10789,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-married-man-have-a-female-friend-whom-he-prefers-over-his-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":33741,"position":3},"title":"Can a married man have a female friend whom he prefers over his wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 7, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband has a new \"friend\" (female) that he constantly chooses over me. He lies to me in order to be with this friend. He tells this friend things that I told him in confidence about her, such as that I am uncomfortable with their new relationship. He puts\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39900,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-convert-to-marry-my-muslim-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":33741,"position":4},"title":"Should I convert to marry my Muslim boyfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am in my later twenties. I have a problem. I was born a Christian. My boyfriend is a Muslim. we've dated for almost 4 years now. We are at the level that we should get married now. My parents don't like him and they wanted us to break\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34627,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-convert-to-christianity-but-im-too-young-to-leave-my-muslim-home\/","url_meta":{"origin":33741,"position":5},"title":"I want to convert to Christianity but I’m too young to leave my Muslim home","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, I'm convinced that Christianity is the true religion. Your website was really helpful and informative. I would like to convert to Christianity, but I'm just 15 years old and raised a Muslim. 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