I have a sincere question concerning lust. Is it a sin to have a strong sexual desire for your husband? Adding to that, is it a sin to desire ‘rape fantasies’ with your husband? I used to have rape fantasies before I married, and now that I’m married, I’ve often had these fantasies about my husband. I don’t have sexual thoughts about anyone else but him, so is this wrong?<\/p>\n
Thank you so much for your time and God bless.<\/p>\n\t
“Lust” means to have a very strong desire, but we generally use it in the context of desiring something that is not lawful. Having a strong sexual desire for your husband is perfectly fine because sex is lawful within marriage. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge<\/em>” (Hebrews 13:4). But “lust” isn’t the best word to describe the way you feel about each other.<\/p>\n Fantasies of your husband coming to you with strong desires for sex isn’t bad, but again, you use words that have the wrong connotations. One of the reasons rape is wrong is because the man displays no love for the woman he rapes. She becomes merely a means for him to ejaculate and there is no concern for her comfort, safety, or enjoyment. I suspect you’ve been reading too many romance novels that do not portray the realities of rape accurately.<\/p>\n But beyond all of this, the word “rape” carries the meaning the sex is not consensual and illegal. You are married to your husband and that marriage carries with it the implicit consent to have sex. “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:3-4). What you are fantasizing about is a violation of this command.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I have a sincere question concerning lust. Is it a sin to have a strong sexual desire for your husband? Adding to that, is it a sin to desire ‘rape fantasies’ with your husband? I used to have rape fantasies before I married, and now that I’m married, I’ve often had these fantasies about my husband.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[156,64,163],"class_list":["post-33644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-lust","tag-marriage","tag-rape"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":11058,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-a-sin-to-lust-after-your-own-wife-or-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":33644,"position":0},"title":"Is it a sin to lust after your own wife or husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 16, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was reading your article on whether\u00a0girls and boys should go\u00a0swimming together\u00a0and I picked up on something that I needed to ask\u00a0you. Is it a sin to lust after your own wife or husband? Answer: The answer depends on the definition of \"lust\" that you use. Technically, the word\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13627,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-idea-that-a-husband-cannot-rape-his-wife-is-a-gross-misrepresentation-of-what-the-bible-says\/","url_meta":{"origin":33644,"position":1},"title":"The idea that a husband cannot rape his wife is a gross misrepresentation of what the Bible says","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 16, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: In the\u00a0chapter on Rape\u00a0in your\u00a0Growing Up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Girls,\u00a0you stated: \"Recently, some women have tried to redefine rape as any time a woman has sex and the woman did not want it at that time. This is an inaccurate definition by God's standard. In\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9046,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-man-lust-after-his-own-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":33644,"position":2},"title":"Can a man lust after his own wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 19, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Can a man lust after his own wife? Answer: The word for lust, both in English and in Greek, means a strong desire. Generally, it is used in a negative sense, in that we speak of someone having a strong desire for something that is wrong. But it can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44218,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-for-a-husband-to-lust-for-his-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":33644,"position":3},"title":"Is it wrong for a husband to lust for his wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Minister, My wife and I have grown distant over the years because she has had many anger issues, substance abuse problems, and trouble with the law. We have several beautiful children and have been married for almost 20 years. Even though she committed adultery on me several years\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":88060,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-thought-lust-would-go-away-once-i-was-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":33644,"position":4},"title":"I thought lust would go away once I was married","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 23, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I've been married for about a year now. I have a wonderful husband, and everything else is great. The issue I have is that I have struggled with lust, masturbation, and pornography for many years. I have been masturbating since I was really young, because I remember a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":82551,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-to-have-a-relationship-when-divorced\/","url_meta":{"origin":33644,"position":5},"title":"Is it wrong to have a relationship when divorced?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 26, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good afternoon, I have a question. If I was married and got divorced and then started a relationship with someone who isn't my husband, is this considered adultery? 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