sex<\/em> all the way, we have done the things leading up to it. My question for you is: should we marry as Paul talks about in Corinthians “If you have no self-control it’s better to marry than to burn with lustful passions”?<\/p>\nWhat about her parents? I’m sure they will think we just want to have sex, although that’s not the case. We just have fallen in not keeping our boundaries. We understand we lack self-control, so rather than continue sinning against the Lord in that area, we understand the extent of our offense toward a holy and righteous God. So we are choosing to go to the courthouse and get married! Would you agree that would be the best idea, since we don’t want to keep falling into that sin?<\/p>\n
How should I approach her parents regarding this matter? If they don’t agree, is it dishonoring the Lord to still marry her?<\/p>\n
I really would love for you to answer this question in depth with some encouraging words as well. Thank you for your responses. I’m sure you get that a lot but honestly, you have no idea the impact your answers are having on me and my girlfriend’s life. I am looking forward to your reply.<\/p>\n\t
Answer:<\/h2>\n
You are asking me to make a judgment based on very little information. If you are going to get married and the temptation to have sex is difficult to resist, then, yes, you are better off getting married than giving in to sin. Paul, in I Corinthians 7, was recommending that people delay marriage because of the upcoming persecution, but he made it clear that you don’t give in to sin just because you are putting off marriage. “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:8-9). I cannot gauge your ability to exercise self-control; that is something only you can answer.<\/p>\nBut understand that it isn’t just intercourse that is a sin. Oral sex is still sex and is considered fornication (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Sexual touching and the like falls under the category of lewdness (Romans 13:13-14). Thoughts of having sex with someone you are not married to are lust. Therefore, while you are talking about pleasing God, you have not been succeeding to do so.<\/p>\n
It would be better to have both your parent’s approval for your marriage. You two will still be a part of an extended family, so it is better to begin in a good relationship. However, there is nothing in the Scriptures that states that adults need their parents’ permission to marry. Obedience is commanded of children (Ephesians 6:1). But you still owe both your parents honor, so you need to discuss the matter with them.<\/p>\n
If you want to convince her parents that you should marry their daughter, then you need to layout why this marriage should take place that does not include the fact that you’ve been sinning. If you cannot make such a case, then you would be admitting they are right — this is only about being able to have sex.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I read\u00a0the articles you had concerning “Fornication”. The woman I am courting is a virgin. I on the other hand am not. I was disciplined by the Lord on behalf of my actions from the flesh when I was indulging in pre-marital sex. My girlfriend and I know we want to marry, and we…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[205,64,1509],"class_list":["post-33053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-lewdness","tag-marriage","tag-parents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":15684,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-my-girlfriend-and-i-sin-by-trying-foreplay-even-though-we-will-be-married-next-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":33053,"position":0},"title":"Did my girlfriend and I sin by trying foreplay even though we will be married next year?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 8, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I and my girlfriend tried foreplay a couple of times, but we have not had sex. She is not just my girlfriend, she is almost my wife. I will marry her next year; this will surely happen. Also, I didn't have any sexual experiences before. I have gone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-i-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-does-this-mean-i-am-married-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":33053,"position":1},"title":"Since I had sex with my girlfriend, does this mean I am married to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother. Thank you for the good web site and for the questions and answers that you have posted. I have a question and a problem that I want you to help me to solve. I have been dating a girl for three years. She has been really close\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39298,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-possible-to-stop-having-sex-until-we-marry\/","url_meta":{"origin":33053,"position":2},"title":"Is it possible to stop having sex until we marry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My girlfriend and I committed fornication. I want to change our lifestyle long before, but both of us can't successfully do it. We did it for almost a year, but then we were tempted. I love her, but both of us are too weak to stay away from sex.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35075,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-restrain-myself-with-my-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":33053,"position":3},"title":"How do I restrain myself with my girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 9, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi Jeffrey, I'm in a courtship with a lady and we both promised each other never to fornicate, which we have kept for three years now. But we do kiss and romance each other since a year into our courtship. I have tried to stop it but to no\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43957,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-keep-repeating-my-sexual-sins\/","url_meta":{"origin":33053,"position":4},"title":"I keep repeating my sexual sins","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am 27 years old. I am unworthy to say I am a Christian, but I have the knowledge of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I was baptized and have been going to church for more than 20 years. I am working and received many of God's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22336,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-my-girlfriend-and-i-get-married-after-committing-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":33053,"position":5},"title":"Can my girlfriend and I get married after committing fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 6, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have some issues I want to share with you so you can pray with me and give me some advice. I was searching the web for some answers on some Christian web sites when I came across your answer to a question that I had, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33053","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33053"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33053\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33053"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33053"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33053"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}