{"id":32913,"date":"2021-03-04T12:00:13","date_gmt":"2021-03-04T18:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=32913"},"modified":"2021-03-04T12:00:13","modified_gmt":"2021-03-04T18:00:13","slug":"i-want-to-marry-a-guy-but-he-is-being-forced-to-marry-the-girl-he-got-pregnant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-marry-a-guy-but-he-is-being-forced-to-marry-the-girl-he-got-pregnant\/","title":{"rendered":"I want to marry a guy, but he is being forced to marry the girl he got pregnant"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Hi!<\/p>\n<p>I found your site and am hoping to get advice on relationships.<\/p>\n<p>I have been dating a guy for a year. Late last fall, he cut off all communication with me. Recently.\u00a0 when I asked him why he ghosted me, after a lot of persuasions, he finally told me that his ex was pregnant with his child and gave birth around the same time he went quiet. He says he didn&#8217;t know about it until his ex approached him when she was almost due. This means he cheated on me while we were still together earlier last year but didn&#8217;t know about the baby. He told me that he still wants to be close friends. The reason he stopped communicating with me was that he didn&#8217;t want to hurt me. He also did not want me to get involved in the mess he made.<\/p>\n<p>I still feel like I&#8217;m in love with him because I&#8217;m actually glad he said we could remain friends but sad knowing that we&#8217;ll never be together.<\/p>\n<p>The girl&#8217;s parents are forcing him to marry her but he doesn&#8217;t want to be with her. What should I do? I forgave him and some part of me wishes that we&#8217;ll end up together, though I know that there&#8217;s no chance of that happening since, to him, it&#8217;s not an option and it&#8217;ll be very complicated.<\/p>\n<p>Please assist.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>What I gathered from your note is that you were dating a boy who told you he had broken up with his ex-girlfriend, but in reality, he was having sex with both her and you. His ex-girlfriend&#8217;s parents are demanding that he marry their daughter and be a father to his child.<\/p>\n<p>First off, while there may be strong pressure to marry, no one can be\u00a0<em>forced<\/em> to marry another person. Thus, regardless of what he says, he is choosing to marry this other woman. His statement that he wants to remain friends is, therefore, suspicious because a married man should not stay in contact with women he slept with in the past. My guess is that he is hoping to continue to have sex with you. By playing a victim in this matter, he is hoping to soften you up with sympathy.<\/p>\n<p>He is\u00a0<em>not\u00a0<\/em>a victim of events. He chose to try to date two women at once. He chose to have sex with both of you. He is choosing to marry the woman who had his child.<\/p>\n<p>You have only one choice &#8212; break off all contact with this bum and then straighten out your own life. You&#8217;ve been committing sin, violating the command not to commit fornication (I Corinthians 6:9-10). He clearly is a charmer, but he is using his charm to trap women in sin. Walk away from the snare.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Hi! I found your site and am hoping to get advice on relationships. I have been dating a guy for a year. Late last fall, he cut off all communication with me. Recently.\u00a0 when I asked him why he ghosted me, after a lot of persuasions, he finally told me that his ex was&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1572],"class_list":["post-32913","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":20652,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-know-if-i-should-remarry-my-ex-husband-or-another-man-who-says-he-loves-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":32913,"position":0},"title":"I don&#8217;t know if I should remarry my ex-husband or another man who says he loves me","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 26, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I divorced my husband because he told me that I forced him to marry me and that he wanted to be free. He also committed adultery, which was the main reason I divorced him. We have two boys. We decided to get back together and save our family. We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31653,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-broke-up-with-my-boyfriend-when-he-got-his-ex-girlfriend-pregnant-but-now-im-having-second-thoughts-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":32913,"position":1},"title":"I broke up with my boyfriend when he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant, but now I&#8217;m having second thoughts. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 8, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: The guy that I love got his ex-girlfriend of seven years pregnant. It's a very complicated story. The guy's family was close to the girl's family. His family didn't know I existed. They only knew about me when the guy made his decision to marry me instead of his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":47821,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-you-suggest-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":32913,"position":2},"title":"What do you suggest I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 7, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I badly need someone to talk to and someone to give me advice as I am really in extreme emotional pain. I'm several months pregnant. My boyfriend is separated and has children from his ex-wife. I have accepted that for he is getting his divorce this year after\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31373,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-told-me-he-has-diabetes-now-i-dont-know-if-i-want-to-marry-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":32913,"position":3},"title":"My boyfriend told me he has diabetes. Now I don&#8217;t know if I want to marry him","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 19, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, A guy is deeply in love with me for the last several months. I like him too, but I am not sure of my feelings yet. Still, he remains the best guy I have ever met and could ever have in my life. Then the other day he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38443,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-move-on-after-my-boyfriend-left\/","url_meta":{"origin":32913,"position":4},"title":"I want to move on after my boyfriend left","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: It's been three years since we started dating. It all began because we had sex. We are trying to do the right thing by dating and getting married one day so that we would remain each others' first. We couldn't stop the sexual sin. Now we have broken up.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26098,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-tell-my-boyfriend-that-i-cheated-on-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":32913,"position":5},"title":"Do I tell my boyfriend that I cheated on him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I love your articles and I am facing a problem now. Just some background about me. I am a Christian who has backslid for almost 10 years. I have a 4 years long boyfriend with me. But just last year, me being dumb and naive, a guy friend\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32913","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32913"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32913\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32913"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32913"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32913"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}