I always thought my husband had cheated on me while we were married but could not prove it. We didn’t have a great marriage. He always treated me like he was ashamed of me. He had a good job and made comments all the time about my lack of intelligence and not being well versed as he was.<\/p>\n
I met a man who was himself divorced, and we became very close. He actually complimented me and made me feel like I was smart and desirable. In time we made the mistake of committing adultery. It was one time, and I confessed to my husband later. I asked God to forgive me. My husband did not. He started seeing someone while we were still married but separated, then said he wanted a divorce. We divorced. We both dated before the divorce was final. He eventually married a woman whose husband died. I never remarried, but have had boyfriends since the divorce.<\/p>\n
My question is: Do I have to remain single due to my adultery? I want to date again but haven’t dated now for years. Can I still date or would it still be adultery? If I remarry, is it adultery? Am I forgiven?<\/p>\n\t
There is no evidence that your former husband committed adultery. I can see your desire to claim it was likely, but a claim is not a fact.<\/p>\n
Your adultery is a fact. It didn’t start with the sex; it started long before when you sought out another man for comfort. And your husband divorced you because of your adultery. I don’t know what efforts were made to reconcile. Such should have happened, but clearly, it didn’t. That he was seeing other women before the divorce was final was not an indication of all being right on his part. But again, the evidence of adultery is not there.<\/p>\n
Jesus said, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery<\/em>” (Matthew 19:9). You were divorced because of your sexual sin; therefore, the exception does not apply to you. You are still bound by the covenant that you broke. Any marriage you enter would be adulterous.<\/p>\n As far as your sin being forgiven. All sins are forgiven when you become a Christian. “Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” <\/em>” (Acts 2:38). When a person sins after becoming a Christian, those sins can also be forgiven. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness<\/em>” (I John 1:9). But forgiveness of sin does not mean the consequences of sin are erased.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I always thought my husband had cheated on me while we were married but could not prove it. We didn’t have a great marriage. He always treated me like he was ashamed of me. He had a good job and made comments all the time about my lack of intelligence and not being well…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,167,1571],"class_list":["post-32710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-divorce","tag-forgiveness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19069,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-cheated-and-i-cheated-i-lived-with-a-man-for-years-before-the-divorce-was-final-we-eventually-married-but-did-i-have-the-right-to-marry-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":32710,"position":0},"title":"My husband cheated and I cheated. I lived with a man for years before the divorce was final. We eventually married, but did I have the right to marry again?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 6, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: As I read through some of your posts on adultery, one comes strongly out to me. I will explain my situation: I married a man. I didn't talk to God or parents before it and we were kids, even as adults we were kids. Then we had a kid.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28246,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-my-husband-left-his-improper-second-marriage-could-he-marry-me-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":32710,"position":1},"title":"If my husband left his improper second marriage, could he marry me again?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 29, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been reading a number of your \"questions-and-answers\" on your web site regarding divorce and remarriage. Could you please shed your thoughts and opinions on the following for me? I am very confused. First of all, I would like to say that I agree with your view of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-married-a-man-who-was-divorced-because-of-his-adultery-is-our-marriage-ok\/","url_meta":{"origin":32710,"position":2},"title":"I married a man who was divorced because of his adultery. Is our marriage ok?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you do if you are a Christian, have a second marriage, and realize only too late that it was not the will of God?\u00a0 My spouse was a called man of God, but he committed adultery in his first marriage.\u00a0He is no longer preaching, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18558,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-had-an-affair-and-divorced-my-husband-now-i-have-married-again-is-it-wrong-to-stay-married-to-this-second-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":32710,"position":3},"title":"I had an affair and divorced my husband. Now I have married again. Is it wrong to stay married to this second man?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 2, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I know divorce is wrong. I know adultery is wrong. I have committed adultery, got a divorce and I have remarried to a man that I had an affair with. He and I both go to church now and we both know we have sinned and have asked for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37386,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-divorced-my-husband-because-of-his-drug-use-how-will-i-know-if-he-has-died-even-his-family-has-lost-track-of-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":32710,"position":4},"title":"I divorced my husband because of his drug use. How will I know if he has died? Even his family has lost track of him","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: OK, so my first marriage ended in divorce because of my husband's adultery. Then my second marriage ended in a divorce, the reason for this was because of my husband's drug use, alcohol addiction, stealing, and pawning everything we owned. I really tried to help him, but he refused\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14935,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-after-being-divorced-a-person-found-out-that-his-spouse-was-married-to-another-at-an-earlier-time-is-he-free-to-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":32710,"position":5},"title":"If, after being divorced, a person found out that his spouse was married to another at an earlier time, is he free to remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 19, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question regarding divorce. If a person marries another knowing the person has been married before but understood this person was divorced scripturally from the first marriage.\u00a0 Years later, trouble begins and one spouse files for divorce. Therefore, leaving the one spouse not free to marry again\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32710","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32710"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32710\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32710"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32710"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32710"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}