I have a multitude of questions that seem to be troubling me:<\/p>\n
I have been married to my wife for many years now and we have a child.\u00a0 She was previously married and divorced but not for any adulterous or fornication reasons. It was due to drug addiction on behalf of the former husband.\u00a0 After reading your web site, I’ve come to the conclusion that by my marrying her (my first marriage), we both are living an adulterous lifestyle.\u00a0 Are you saying that the remedy for true repentance is for me to get a divorce from her to get right with God?<\/p>\n
The second question to a troubled mind:<\/p>\n
To add to the confusion, several years ago, my wife and I were on the verge of divorce and I had committed adultery with two separate women. I came to Jesus Christ last year and have asked for forgiveness. I have truly repented from my wrongdoings, I went and got baptized and I know in my heart I will never do this again, but my wife does not know, so should I tell her for the condition of my salvation?<\/p>\n
My motive for not telling her is to maintain the marriage for God’s sake, for my child’s sake, and I do still love her and truly desire to make the marriage whole again. However, according to your website, by me marrying her in the first place, I was already committing adultery in the eyes of God and so does trying to salvage this marriage have any meaning?<\/p>\n
I have truly repented from my wrongdoing (willfully sinning against God) but what about my ignorance in marrying my wife in the first place.<\/p>\n
Please help, I want to do the right thing, but most importantly I want to please God and know that my sins are forgiven through the blood of Christ.<\/p>\n\t
The fact remains that Jesus gave only one exception that allows for remarriage and that is a divorce due to sexual sins on the part of the other partner. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery<\/em>” (Matthew 19:9). Your wife did not have a right to a second marriage. The rule for her was to remain unmarried. “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:10-11). If her first husband passes away, then she can remarry then (Romans 7:2-3).<\/p>\n I’m sorry that you two have been living in adultery and, worse, that a child came about from your mistake. But to be a Christian means not accepting and living in sin. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God<\/em>” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Being baptized after the fact does not change the fact that your relationship with your wife is still adulterous because of what she did.<\/p>\n\n\t So what is the remedy, to divorce my wife?<\/p>\n\t The only solution to sin is to stop doing it. Since the marriage is adulterous, the only solution is to end the marriage. I agree that it is a hard solution. “His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it” <\/em>” (Matthew 19:10-12).<\/p>\n While you and I might wish things were different, I am restricted to only teach what the Lord commands (I Peter 4:11).<\/p>\n\t I had mentioned in my prior email to you that my wife was married before and got divorced. You provided Scripture that stated that my existing marriage was unlawful, and we were committing adultery. To my painful surprise, this all made scriptural sense (Mathew 19:9, Mark 10:12 as examples). However, I just discovered that my wife never married the man. She got pregnant by him when she was in her teens and they cohabitated, but there never was an actual wedding ceremony or vows. My question is, does this mean that I do not need to divorce my wife, I can remain married and know we are not living in sin? I’m not at all trying to find some scriptural “loophole,” but these are the facts.<\/p>\n Please advise. Thank you.<\/p>\n\t In the past, your wife was committing fornication on an on-going basis. Marriage is based on a covenant (Malachi 2:14), and she never entered into a marriage with this man. Based on those facts you are legitimately married to your wife.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I have a multitude of questions that seem to be troubling me: I have been married to my wife for many years now and we have a child.\u00a0 She was previously married and divorced but not for any adulterous or fornication reasons. It was due to drug addiction on behalf of the former husband.\u00a0…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-32099","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":30942,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/it-is-complex-but-is-my-third-marriage-adulterous\/","url_meta":{"origin":32099,"position":0},"title":"It is complex, but is my third marriage adulterous?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 13, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question for you. It involves a complex matter, but I trust your biblical response after having read your web page. I am married currently and was also married twice before this marriage. I have since repented and grieved over all of my wickedness when I saw\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24503,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-could-a-woman-in-an-adulterous-marriage-have-the-right-to-remarry-after-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":32099,"position":1},"title":"How could a woman in an adulterous marriage have the right to remarry after a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have read through your articles and thoroughly enjoyed them, and even taken a few sermons and re-worked them into sermons that I preached here. However, when I came across\u00a0an answer to a question you made concerning divorce and remarriage, I was a bit taken aback because of you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42225,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-there-be-adultery-after-divorce-ends-a-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":32099,"position":2},"title":"How can there be adultery after divorce ends a marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: You said on your website: \"When one partner in a marriage commits adultery, the innocent party has the option to divorce the unrepentant adulterer and may marry someone else if he or she so chooses.\u00a0The adulterer remains bound by the terms of his marriage covenant.\u00a0Anyone marriage enters into will\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":95286,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-man-remarry-in-this-situation\/","url_meta":{"origin":32099,"position":3},"title":"Can a man remarry in this situation?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 27, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please give me the biblical answer to the following situation: A man and woman get married (neither one is a Christian). It is his first marriage and her second marriage. They started dating (and having a sexual relationship) while she was still married to her first husband. They eventually\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":66797,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-sad-and-complex-situation\/","url_meta":{"origin":32099,"position":4},"title":"A sad and complex situation","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 28, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This is sad and complicated. Katie married Joe, and neither were previously married. It is unknown if they were believers.\u00a0Katie and Joe divorced. The reason is unknown, but it is rumored to be because Joe didn't want kids. Katie had a child with Ken before her divorce from Joe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35331,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-deal-with-a-member-who-is-in-an-adulterous-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":32099,"position":5},"title":"How do I deal with a member who is in an adulterous marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 23, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question that requires me to go outside of the current congregation where I am a member. If there is a member who is in an unscriptural marriage, which I do have personal knowledge of, and who is being allowed to preach and teach in worship service,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32099","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32099"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32099\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Question:<\/h2>\n
Answer:<\/h2>\n
Question:<\/h2>\n
Answer:<\/h2>\n