{"id":32034,"date":"2012-03-02T20:57:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-03T02:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=32034"},"modified":"2024-11-17T21:18:11","modified_gmt":"2024-11-18T03:18:11","slug":"how-do-i-teach-my-fiance-that-dancing-in-worship-instrumental-music-and-women-preachers-are-a-big-deal-if-you-want-to-please-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-teach-my-fiance-that-dancing-in-worship-instrumental-music-and-women-preachers-are-a-big-deal-if-you-want-to-please-god\/","title":{"rendered":"How do I teach my fiance that dancing in worship, instrumental music, and women preachers are a big deal if you want to please God?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

I’m getting my fiance to come to a church of Christ from being a Baptist. She had decided to study with me and learn the Word together, but it seems still a little hard to do so.<\/p>\n

For one, her mother is always in her ear and to be honest she would be mad if her daughter left the church they both go to. As well, her mother feels she has been called to preach in the church. She has also been to a church before where they had a female minister and found it OK.<\/p>\n

Also, she’s a liturgical dancer in her church and this is one of the main things that we clash on because she feels she’s been called to minister by dance. I’m still trying to understand the liturgical dance, it’s really new to me. I tried to explain about instrumental music not being in the church and she still says, “What’s the big deal? I don’t see why it hurts worship.”<\/p>\n

I’m trying to figure a way to show her the truth on all these issues without butting heads.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

There are several issues that need to be addressed before you can even approach the dancing issue. First, you need to establish God’s authority to have things done His way. Verses such as Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 and Galatians 1:10 tell us that religious practices are not gauged by what pleases the worshiper but by the one who is being worshiped. Your fiance is judging right and wrong based on her own opinion. You have to counter this by not giving your opinion but going back to what God actually said (I Peter 4:11).<\/p>\n

Next, you need to establish that the Bible does contain everything that God wants us to know and do. See:\u00a0Is the Bible the only source of authority?<\/a>\u00a0for an example of proving this. What has to be accepted is that we are not allowed to change what God said. If we did, we would be in authority instead of God.<\/p>\n

Then you need to come to terms about rightly dividing God’s Word (II Timothy 2:15) between the Old and New Testament. See:\u00a0Why We Don’t Follow the Old Testament<\/a>.<\/p>\n

In all these teachings, don’t bring up the other issues. These are foundational points that need to be accepted. They form the common ground where you two can come together in agreement.<\/p>\n

If she does accept these points, then you can ask for the scriptural basis for her dancing. If she is doing it as part of worship, then she must believe that God asked for it to be done in the New Testament church. She probably never thought about the scriptural justification for what she does, but if she brings up anything, she will most likely pull passages from the Old Testament. See: Is liturgical dancing wrong?<\/a>\u00a0The simple question is: Is God pleased when men make up their own ways to worship Him?<\/p>\n

Instrumental music becomes a similar issue. See: Have I been worshiping in vain all these years by using instrumental music in worship?<\/a><\/p>\n

In regards to women preaching, you merely need to go to I Corinthians 14:34-37 and I Timothy 2:11-15 and ask how a woman can preach in a public assembly and not violate these two commands. See:\u00a0Teaching Unpopular Doctrine<\/a><\/p>\n

Either you two will come to an agreement over what God said, or she’ll dig in her heels, determined to do as she thinks is right. If it is the latter, I would strongly suggest that you consider not marrying her because it will become points of contention throughout your lives.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I’m getting my fiance to come to a church of Christ from being a Baptist. She had decided to study with me and learn the Word together, but it seems still a little hard to do so. For one, her mother is always in her ear and to be honest she would be mad…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[78,155,292,451,81],"class_list":["post-32034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-authority","tag-dancing","tag-instrumental-music","tag-teaching","tag-women-preachers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17577,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-liturgical-dancing-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":32034,"position":0},"title":"Is liturgical dancing wrong?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 24, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a friend that goes to a church and she is a liturgical dancer. I read all your articles on dancing and understand the views. She told me that it was her calling to dance to the Lord. Is liturgical dancing wrong? Answer: The New Testament does not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33075,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-taught-my-wife-the-truth-about-dancing-but-she-wont-accept-it-what-else-can-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":32034,"position":1},"title":"I’ve taught my wife the truth about dancing, but she won’t accept it. What else can I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Well, I am married and the only problem we have is that she goes to another church that's not a church of Christ. To be honest it not really the church that we're clashing on, even though that's wrong as well. It's the dancing that she does that she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9192,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-dances-at-a-wedding-reception-be-bad\/","url_meta":{"origin":32034,"position":2},"title":"How can dances at a wedding reception be bad?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 1, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I am a young man who is going to be getting married. I would have loved to use the preacher at my congregation (a church of Christ) but he gave me a pamphlet of his \"Do's and Don'ts.\"\u00a0 Two things that he made clear of were no alcohol\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42105,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-convince-my-mother-that-voodoo-isnt-real\/","url_meta":{"origin":32034,"position":3},"title":"How can I convince my mother that voodoo isn’t real?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My mother has been calling a \"spiritual adviser\" for years now and it makes my sister and me very uncomfortable because we know very little to nothing about this adviser, though we jump to conclusions and assume this lady does voodoo. Even though we are not sure, my mother\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43433,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-my-fiance-broke-up-with-me-i-slept-with-another-woman-now-they-are-both-mad-at-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":32034,"position":4},"title":"When my fiance broke up with me, I slept with another woman. Now they are both mad at me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi Jeffrey, I have a child, under the age of five. The child's mother is my fiance. She's currently pregnant and expecting my second child. I truly love her with all my heart but things have turned out the worst for me. We have been engaged since last year,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":47465,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-friend-thinks-that-gods-prohibition-against-instrumental-music-in-worship-is-due-to-mistranslations\/","url_meta":{"origin":32034,"position":5},"title":"My friend thinks that God’s prohibition against instrumental music in worship is due to mistranslations","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 10, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a friend who has left the church to participate with a community church. Can you offer me advice on what to say to her or point me to articles already posted that I can use in hopes of restoring her? 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