{"id":31796,"date":"2012-02-17T21:24:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-18T03:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=31796"},"modified":"2021-02-08T21:27:28","modified_gmt":"2021-02-09T03:27:28","slug":"its-all-my-fault-but-i-cant-stop-seeing-my-old-boyfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/its-all-my-fault-but-i-cant-stop-seeing-my-old-boyfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s all my fault, but I can&#8217;t stop seeing my old boyfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Hi,<\/p>\n<p>I am a Christian in a church in my country where my mother was pastor. I feel all frustrated, and I know I am the sole cause.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been dating a guy for the past two years. We were supposed to get married but unfortunately, things didn&#8217;t work out properly because of family pressure on both sides.<\/p>\n<p>A year after we broke up he got married to another girl. But two weeks after his wedding we started dating again. I could not help it because I still loved him. Now he is cheating on his wife, and I feel like it&#8217;s all my fault. I gave myself to him and we&#8217;ve been having sex on a very regular basis. I feel like he is using me just for sex now because whenever we see each other that&#8217;s the only thing we do. I know he loves his wife, and he is just using me. I really want to stop this relationship, I don&#8217;t know how to avoid this guy. He is just everywhere I am. At church, in my house, over the net. Whenever he calls I just can&#8217;t help myself but go. I feel frustrated. I am not happy. Every day I cry since I started this relationship again. And I still love him. Help me.<\/p>\n<p>What should I do?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>First, you have to stop lying to yourself. You claim to be a Christian, but you live in sin. You claim you can&#8217;t help yourself but you have full choice. You say you love him, but it is nothing more than a physical attraction. To call what you are doing &#8220;love&#8221; is to denigrate real love (I Corinthians 13:4-8). Besides the fact that you are calling God a liar. &#8220;<em>No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it<\/em>&#8221; (I Corinthians 10:13).<\/p>\n<p>Is this affair totally your fault? No. He would have sought out a mistress whether it was you or someone else. But you are committing adultery with a married man. &#8220;<em>Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God<\/em>&#8221; (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Yes, he is only using you for sex, but no, he doesn&#8217;t love you.<\/p>\n<p>There is only one thing you can do and that is to stop the sin by no longer seeing this man. Switch to a faithful church since the one you are attending is not following the truth anyway by having a woman pastor in conflict with I Timothy 2:9-10 and I Corinthians 14:34-37. You need to get right with God and stop putting your feelings ahead of faithfulness to God. &#8220;<em>Jesus answered and said to him, &#8220;If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father&#8217;s who sent Me<\/em>&#8221; (John 14:23-24).<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Hi, I am a Christian in a church in my country where my mother was pastor. I feel all frustrated, and I know I am the sole cause. I&#8217;ve been dating a guy for the past two years. We were supposed to get married but unfortunately, things didn&#8217;t work out properly because of family&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66],"class_list":["post-31796","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":29311,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-stop-having-sex-with-a-guy-im-not-married-to\/","url_meta":{"origin":31796,"position":0},"title":"How do I stop having sex with a guy I&#8217;m not married to?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 26, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a young girl in college. At the beginning of this year, I met a guy and we both fell in love with each other. We started dating, and after a few months, the guy started showing interest in sex by asking questions like when do you want\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27697,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-keep-temptation-at-bay-just-before-my-wedding\/","url_meta":{"origin":31796,"position":1},"title":"How do I keep temptation at bay just before my wedding?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 7, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am in need of your advice. I am in my early twenties. I grew up in a church and learned at a young age that I should wait until I got married before I had sex. When I was saved in my teens, I took a pledge that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-i-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-does-this-mean-i-am-married-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":31796,"position":2},"title":"Since I had sex with my girlfriend, does this mean I am married to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother. Thank you for the good web site and for the questions and answers that you have posted. I have a question and a problem that I want you to help me to solve. I have been dating a girl for three years. She has been really close\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29802,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-and-i-have-been-having-sex-for-a-while-i-realize-it-is-wrong-but-i-dont-know-how-to-straighten-this-out\/","url_meta":{"origin":31796,"position":3},"title":"My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while. I realize it is wrong, but I don&#8217;t know how to straighten this out","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 2, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My boyfriend and I are both Christians and have been dating for two years now. About a year ago we started sinning. Although, I realize now that what we were doing prior to that was wrong as well. It always seems like every time I talked with him and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44128,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-move-on-and-let-this-man-repair-his-family\/","url_meta":{"origin":31796,"position":4},"title":"Should I move on and let this man repair his family?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, sir! I'd like to thank you in advance for reading my letter. I've been quite troubled over my current situation and I hope you can offer me some advice. My guy and I have been together for some time now, and I've had hopes for an impending\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13239,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-reconcile-with-my-ex-husband-who-is-addicted-to-marijuana\/","url_meta":{"origin":31796,"position":5},"title":"Should I reconcile with my ex-husband who is addicted to marijuana?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Should I reconcile with my ex-husband although he has issues with smoking pot? I divorced him over three years ago and I discovered biblically I was wrong because it was not for adultery. He since then continues to smoke but seems to have changed in other areas. I despise\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31796","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31796"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31796\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31796"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31796"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31796"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}