My boyfriend and I committed sexual immorality. We have repented and not done it again. We are planning on getting married, but do I have to confess my sins to my pastor and my parents before we get married?<\/p>\n\t
The purpose of confession is to face the fact that we sinned — that we are not going to hide from that fact. Unacknowledged sin destroys us internally. “When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was turned into the drought of summer. I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.<\/em>” (Psalms 32:3-5). Confession is made to the ones we harmed by our sins. Since all sins are against God, the first and most important confession we need to make is to Him.<\/p>\n “This is the message which we have heard from him and announce to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him and walk in the darkness, we lie, and don’t tell the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we haven’t sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us<\/em>” (I John 1:5-10).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Often the one in sin realizes how badly his sin affected his relationship with God and so he desires the support of his fellow Christians in approaching God. You can see this with Simon.<\/p>\n “Now when Simon saw that the Holy Spirit was given through the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money, saying, “Give me also this power, that whoever I lay my hands on may receive the Holy Spirit.” But Peter said to him, “May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart isn’t right before God. Repent therefore of this, your wickedness, and ask God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bondage of iniquity.” Simon answered, “Pray for me to the Lord, that none of the things which you have spoken happen to me”<\/em>” (Acts 8:18-24).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This is why we read in James: “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much<\/em>” (James 5:16). That is why we allow opportunities for people to come before the congregation. It is so others can pray on the behalf of the sinner that God will forgive them.<\/p>\n But along with that, we realize that our actions impact other people. When our actions harm someone else, we should approach them to admit our wrong and ask for their forgiveness. The goal always is to get a person to turn from their sins. Once the person repents, the matter is dropped to minimize the embarrassment caused by sin.<\/p>\n You and your boyfriend realized your sin and changed. I don’t know if you discussed this with God in prayer yet, but if not, you need to do so. Beyond that, there is no requirement to tell anyone else about your past sins.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: My boyfriend and I committed sexual immorality. We have repented and not done it again. We are planning on getting married, but do I have to confess my sins to my pastor and my parents before we get married? Answer: The purpose of confession is to face the fact that we sinned — that…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[51,1572],"class_list":["post-31333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-confession","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18102,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-we-need-to-redo-our-confession-before-the-church\/","url_meta":{"origin":31333,"position":0},"title":"Do we need to redo our confession before the church?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 9, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Preacher, I must thank you for the wonderful work you are doing to help the churches of Christ. I have an issue that I would like you to help me with. I fornicated with a lady in church, and she is pregnant. We spoke to church elders about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39825,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-confess-my-use-of-pornography-to-my-preacher\/","url_meta":{"origin":31333,"position":1},"title":"Do I need to confess my use of pornography to my preacher?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: God bless. I have been a Christian for many years, but I was addicted to porn and I committed fornication against myself (my body). I never had sex with anybody, just myself. I have repented from that sin, and I recognize my sin, so do I need to confess\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":60048,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-confess-to-the-person-i-lusted-after\/","url_meta":{"origin":31333,"position":2},"title":"Do I need to confess to the person I lusted after?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 22, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Do I have to confess my lustful thoughts to the person I lusted after? I'm dealing with the sin of lust (and the commonly related sinful behavior linked to it). I know I need to repent of this, ask God for forgiveness, and cut it out of my life.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20087,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-sin-require-a-public-confession-before-a-congregation\/","url_meta":{"origin":31333,"position":3},"title":"Does sin require a public confession before a congregation?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: It is with great difficulty that I find myself writing to you with this question. I have been married for about several months now.\u00a0 Shortly before the wedding, we made a grievous error and fell into sexual sins.\u00a0 A child was conceived from this sin.\u00a0 We are overjoyed over\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28599,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-i-say-to-confess-my-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":31333,"position":4},"title":"What should I say to confess my fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 22, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I need help with words to ask God and my church and my parents for forgiveness of my fornication. I know I have sinned. I allowed myself to get caught up and I need to ask for forgiveness. I want to write it because I can't stop crying, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31352,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-confession-of-sin-only-to-ones-self-or-must-it-be-to-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":31333,"position":5},"title":"Is confession of sin only to one’s self or must it be to God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I just read your article: \"How detailed does a confession of sin have to be? Do you need to list out all that you've done wrong?\"\u00a0 We have been discussing this subject for over two months with no end in sight. 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