{"id":31269,"date":"2012-01-10T20:40:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-11T02:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=31269"},"modified":"2021-01-26T20:47:50","modified_gmt":"2021-01-27T02:47:50","slug":"why-dont-people-who-have-non-marital-sex-face-immediate-consequences","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-dont-people-who-have-non-marital-sex-face-immediate-consequences\/","title":{"rendered":"Why don’t people who have non-marital sex face immediate consequences?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Hello,<\/p>\n

I have a question or two:<\/p>\n

The first one is: Why is it that people who have non-marital sex do not face consequences at that moment?<\/p>\n

And my second question is: How can I overcome my anger and sadness whenever I hear or see people having sex?<\/p>\n

I’m a female, in my early twenties, and still a virgin. There have been many times when I could have lost my virginity, but I did not want to because I’m a believer in Christ, and I don’t want to disappoint him. But sometimes I get really frustrated and jealous, to the point where I really want to cry and break stuff because it seems like the only way you can have sex without penalty is when you’re married. I know that’s the wrong reason to get married in the first place. But how the media and people advertise that sex is important in a healthy relationship makes me not even believe in that at all and not find it necessary. Yet I’m supposedly “missing out” on something, but I want to try it. It doesn’t feel like I’ll ever get married and end up in my fifties single and never been married.<\/p>\n

I’ve never had a boyfriend. I never went out on a date. I’ve seen couples younger than me in relationships or even around my age group already married and that just makes it even worse.<\/p>\n

What can I do to prevent this from rising again? I pray and talk to God sometimes; yet, I don’t know how He’ll respond, or whether He never does.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n
\n\n\n

If I had said, “I will speak thus,” behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children. When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me — until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood their end. Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction. Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment! They are utterly consumed with terrors<\/em>” (Psalms 73:1-19).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Very few sins have immediate consequences. If all sins did, one could not truly claim to have full freedom to make choices in life. God allows people to make mistakes, but with the warning that they will eventually have to face the results of their choices. “Behold, all souls are Mine; The soul of the father As well as the soul of the son is Mine; The soul who sins shall die<\/em>” (Ezekiel 18:4).<\/p>\n

Of course, you want sex. It is a desire that is built into all adults and it is strongest when we are young. But just because you want something, it doesn’t follow that unrestricted access to it is the best thing for you. I like to eat, but I have to continually tell myself that I can’t eat all that I want. Sex is freely available, but only within the boundaries of marriage. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge<\/em>” (Hebrews 13:4). See: “Waiting for the Proper Time<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

The world’s ideas about sex are as corrupt as its ideas on many issues. Sex doesn’t make a quality marriage. Sex is a benefit of marriage, but the core of marriage is companionship. “Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, … Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant<\/em>” (Malachi 2:14). The world chases after sex, and maybe thinks about friendship later, if at all. That is why these “relationships” don’t last. See “Marriage’s Glue<\/a>” for more.<\/p>\n

So be “unworldly.” Be different. Work at making friends, male and female. Eventually, as you increase the pool of people you know, one guy is going to stand out as someone special. He’ll be someone who wants to be your friend and protector and not dying to use your body for his gratification. Such men are a rare breed, but they do exist. They’re having the same problem you are having — finding a decent woman who wants to be a wife. That is why broadening your circle of friends is so important. It increases the odds of finding the right person.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: Hello, I have a question or two: The first one is: Why is it that people who have non-marital sex do not face consequences at that moment? And my second question is: How can I overcome my anger and sadness whenever I hear or see people having sex? I’m a female, in my early…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1572,669],"class_list":["post-31269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-fornication","tag-punishment"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32659,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-doesnt-god-want-us-to-have-sex-before-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":31269,"position":0},"title":"Why doesn’t God want us to have sex before marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 24, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I really would like to know why God doesn't want us to have sex before marriage. What is His reason? It doesn't make sense to me. It's free will. We can all do whatever we want and sex is pleasurable. But what are his reasons? I don't have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19511,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-ive-had-sex-before-so-that-means-i-joined-with-those-prior-girls-and-i-cant-marry\/","url_meta":{"origin":31269,"position":1},"title":"Since I’ve had sex before, so that means I joined with those prior girls and I can’t marry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was checking out your web site, and La Vista Church of Christ seems like a legitimate, non-liberal church of Christ. I am a 20-year-old Christian. I know it may seem strange to get an email from a random individual, but I had a question regarding pre-marital sex that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":525,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-is-wrong-with-pre-marital-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":31269,"position":2},"title":"What is wrong with pre-marital sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 26, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What is wrong with pre-marital sex? If your spouse finds out that you are bad at sex after you are married, won't your spouse leave you for someone else? Answer: Here lies a classic argument of \"Let us do evil that good may come\" (Romans 3:8). You want to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23215,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-recover-from-pre-marital-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":31269,"position":3},"title":"How do I recover from pre-marital sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 4, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was reading your articles about\u00a0waiting for marriage\u00a0and why sex outside of marriage is wrong. Your advice is something I wish I had understood sooner. Unfortunately, I have already sinned sexually. Now I am trying to discern God's will so that I may do what is right in His\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33053,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-get-her-parents-permission-before-marrying-my-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":31269,"position":4},"title":"Do I need to get her parent’s permission before marrying my girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read\u00a0the articles you had concerning \"Fornication\". The woman I am courting is a virgin. I on the other hand am not. I was disciplined by the Lord on behalf of my actions from the flesh when I was indulging in pre-marital sex. My girlfriend and I know we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41000,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/cant-i-have-sex-only-with-the-girl-i-intend-to-marry\/","url_meta":{"origin":31269,"position":5},"title":"Can’t I have sex only with the girl I intend to marry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a young man who has a great passion for the Lord Jesus, but my conscience is not serving me right. The reason is that I have proposed marriage to a beautiful young lady whom I love so much with all my life, but this sex and fornication\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31269","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31269"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31269\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}