{"id":3125,"date":"2005-08-22T22:49:11","date_gmt":"2005-08-22T22:49:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=3125"},"modified":"2024-12-16T12:14:51","modified_gmt":"2024-12-16T18:14:51","slug":"i-need-help-handling-teenage-dress-and-language-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-need-help-handling-teenage-dress-and-language-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"I need help handling teenage dress and language problems"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

I need another outlook about fashion statements of today in the church. Young ladies are exposing themselves and young men are out of control with their dress and their mouth. I have covered I Corinthians and Deuteronomy 22 and a few other chapters. Can you help me put this in perspective?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

I would love to help. We have quite a bit of material on this site, which should make good starting points.<\/p>\n

In regards to fashion, there is a copy of a survey that was done at a congregation in Pennsylvania that is an eye-opener for most young ladies. Many deny the obvious effect of their dress on boys, and this survey makes that clear (see: Should my attire match those around me?<\/a>). If it is any consolation, a recent article in the papers states that bare mid-riffs and spaghetti strap tops are going out of fashion and are being replaced by tunic-style tops. Let’s hope it catches on for a while.<\/p>\n

I have two studies that deal with sexual issues: Growing Up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Girls <\/a><\/em>and\u00a0Growing Up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Boys<\/a><\/em>. It has been my experience that many of the problems we face in telling young people why matters of dress or behavior are important are due to our own problems of speaking about sex clearly and precisely. If teenage boys and girls understand where sexual feelings come from, why they are there, and why they need to be confined to marriage, many of the secondary issues, such as clothing and language, become easier to address. The article “You Can’t Tell Me How to Dress!<\/a>” deals with inappropriate dress and hairstyles, such as the goth look.<\/p>\n

Both of the online versions of\u00a0Growing Up in the Lord<\/em>\u00a0have a growing Question and Answer section where I am answering questions regarding sexuality. You may find a particular issue already covered there.<\/p>\n

In regards to language, I keep a collegiate dictionary around (they tend to be more complete and blunter in regards to slang). When a young person uses an inappropriate word in my presence, I have them look up the word and tell me what it means. Usually, it is something highly inappropriate. I then ask them why they would say such a thing in the context of which they used it. The usual response is, “That’s not what I meant!” To which I reply, “I’m not asking what you meant. I’m asking about what you said.”<\/p>\n

The article “Careful What You Say<\/a>” should help in dealing with inappropriate language.<\/p>\n

Another resource is the study, Moral Principles for Young People<\/a><\/em>. Here, problems of attitudes are addressed, and teenagers seem to have plenty of them.<\/p>\n

Finally, please contact me about specific situations and issues. I have been dealing with teens for many years and\u00a0have many\u00a0resources at my fingertips. In addition, I’m available to hold meetings or teach classes on teen issues.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I need another outlook about fashion statements of today in the church. Young ladies are exposing themselves and young men are out of control with their dress and their mouth. I have covered I Corinthians and Deuteronomy 22 and a few other chapters. Can you help me put this in perspective?   Answer: I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[208,366,365,492,395],"class_list":["post-3125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-clothing","tag-dress","tag-modesty","tag-profanity","tag-teenagers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":33281,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-i-do-when-there-are-immodestly-dressed-women-around-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":3125,"position":0},"title":"What should I do when there are immodestly dressed women around me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 19, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What should I do when I'm in an environment where seeing immodestly dresses women isn't possible to avoid? At college, for instance. Answer: \u00a0 \"I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?\" (Job 31:1). When people don't have the sense\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/notLooking.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19279,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/must-a-woman-dress-plainly-or-wear-a-covering-at-all-times\/","url_meta":{"origin":3125,"position":1},"title":"Must a woman dress plainly or wear a covering at all times?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 26, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a head-covering lady and a modest dresser. I see that you have links to different head covering sites\u00a0for ordering them.\u00a0 Do your ladies wear them all the time or just for church and praying? Also, about modesty: Are their dresses or skirts plain or with prints? Do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2774,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-attire-match-those-around-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":3125,"position":2},"title":"Should my attire match those around me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have read the articles and sermon outlines you provide on modesty. I believe I am clear on how the Bible addresses modesty and feel secure in how I dress as being modest. The question I have is: if the standard of modesty for other Christians in the church\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":94663,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/flip-flops-short-shorts-and-worship\/","url_meta":{"origin":3125,"position":3},"title":"Flip-Flops, Short Shorts and Worship","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 18, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"by Charles Box Our dress in worship is not a \"fashion show.\" But, is it possible to become too casual, too indiscreet, or too revealing in our manner of dress when we gather for worship? Recently, we were visiting a Wednesday night church service, and near us sat a girl\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29019,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/modesty\/","url_meta":{"origin":3125,"position":4},"title":"Modesty","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Randi Roberts Sentry Magazine, September 2003 \"Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel -- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/modest-girl-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1964,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/dress-codes\/","url_meta":{"origin":3125,"position":5},"title":"Dress Codes (Article)","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. 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