{"id":31157,"date":"2012-01-01T09:20:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-01T15:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=31157"},"modified":"2021-01-25T09:23:46","modified_gmt":"2021-01-25T15:23:46","slug":"i-keep-pulling-out-of-committing-to-marry-even-though-i-want-to-be-married-what-should-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-keep-pulling-out-of-committing-to-marry-even-though-i-want-to-be-married-what-should-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"I keep pulling out of committing to marry even though I want to be married. What should I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I am a man in my thirties. I wanted to settle down for the past few years now. I find it hard to find the right girl that suits me, though I can say that I am quite popular with girls. I am always finding things that I am not really satisfied with; this is a problem, I know! I know there is no custom made girl for me, but both my heart and mind are pulling me out of a commitment to marriage. What should I do? Just accept one and marry her? Would love come after marriage?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>Many people search to feel love for someone else. But God teaches that love is a decision, a commitment on a person&#8217;s part. See &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/love-is\/\">Love Is &#8230;<\/a>&#8221; for details. When you are committed to a person, the feelings of love develop, but the feeling is not the actual love.<\/p>\n<p>It sounds as if you like your lifestyle and are having difficulty making the compromises necessary to add another person into your life. Or perhaps you are enjoying the options and don&#8217;t want to limit yourself. Whatever it may be, marriage is about choosing to put someone else ahead of your own desires, and that is hard to do when you&#8217;ve lived your life mostly focused on yourself.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I am a man in my thirties. I wanted to settle down for the past few years now. I find it hard to find the right girl that suits me, though I can say that I am quite popular with girls. I am always finding things that I am not really satisfied with; this&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[64],"class_list":["post-31157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2172,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-girl-i-love-is-being-given-in-marriage-to-someone-else-by-her-family\/","url_meta":{"origin":31157,"position":0},"title":"The girl I love is being given in marriage to someone else by her family","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 3, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: There's this Muslim girl I love so much. While I was dating her, her parents found out and gave in her marriage to her cousin, who lives in another country. I don't know what to do now because we still love each other so much. She has accepted Jesus\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13761,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-commit-a-deadly-sin-by-having-sex-with-my-girlfriend-even-though-i-know-im-going-to-marry-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":31157,"position":1},"title":"Did I commit a deadly sin by having sex with my girlfriend, even though I know I&#8217;m going to marry her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 31, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please help.\u00a0 I am a Christian and I have been in a celibate relationship with the person I love for 3-1\/2 months now.\u00a0 We have told each other many times that we love each other and would do anything for each other many times.\u00a0 We have also said that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45535,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-parents-dont-want-me-to-marry-the-woman-ive-chosen\/","url_meta":{"origin":31157,"position":2},"title":"My parents don&#8217;t want me to marry the woman I&#8217;ve chosen","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am very sad and confused right now. Please, I need help. I have a lady I am in love with, and she is in love with me. I told my parent about her, and they decided to consult some prophets. Based on the prophets' visions they said I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27504,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-am-in-love-with-a-girl-at-church-but-im-trying-to-forget-about-her-and-i-cant\/","url_meta":{"origin":31157,"position":3},"title":"I am in love with a girl at church, but I&#8217;m trying to forget about her and I can&#8217;t","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 21, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi. I am a son of God, and I love Jesus. I need your help. I love a girl in my church. We both love Jesus. I have prayed to God and cry for help to forget about this love, but it is still in my heart. We used\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-i-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-does-this-mean-i-am-married-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":31157,"position":4},"title":"Since I had sex with my girlfriend, does this mean I am married to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother. Thank you for the good web site and for the questions and answers that you have posted. I have a question and a problem that I want you to help me to solve. I have been dating a girl for three years. She has been really close\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51836,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-have-to-marry-him-because-we-had-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":31157,"position":5},"title":"Do I have to marry him because we had sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 29, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am in my early twenties, a newly born-again Christian and a Protestant. I am in a relationship with a Catholic guy for over five years. We did have sex and he has been loyal to me all these years. He is also a violent and angry person. As\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31157"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31157\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}