{"id":31023,"date":"2011-12-23T18:05:00","date_gmt":"2011-12-24T00:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=31023"},"modified":"2021-01-22T18:08:50","modified_gmt":"2021-01-23T00:08:50","slug":"should-i-divorce-my-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-divorce-my-husband\/","title":{"rendered":"Should I divorce my husband?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I am married with two children and one on the way. I recently discovered that my husband was having an affair with another woman. I am questioning if divorce is the right decision. My husband flirts with females online and I have found inappropriate pictures of various females in his phone as well as text messages. This all happened before I discovered his infidelity. I wanted a divorce then but wasn&#8217;t sure if it was considered adultery under God&#8217;s laws. He asked for forgiveness but it was hard to overcome these things.<\/p>\n<p>A little story of our history is his infidelity started when we were dating. He got incarcerated for about a year, and when he was released he declared he was a changed man. I must admit that after continuous affairs, I picked up on his behavior when he was doing them again. He states, I never really let go of the past when we got married, but how could I if small things, like mentioning the female pictures and text messages with females at all kinds of hours, kept occurring? I stayed in this marriage because I do love him and for our children.<\/p>\n<p>After I found out about this affair, I have been having thoughts of committing suicide, and I have attempted it. That&#8217;s when I realized that I cannot be in this marriage anymore. He is trying to prove to me that he is sorry. When I asked why did the affair end, he said &#8220;it didn&#8217;t feel right.&#8221; I forgave him, but I am still hurt. He doesn&#8217;t want to destroy our family, but I feel our family has already been destroyed. I know God can do the impossible, but where do I say enough is enough? Do I have enough to file a divorce under the eyes of God?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>I don&#8217;t tell people that they should divorce. Divorce is an allowance, but not a necessity. Yes, your husband has committed adultery, and it doesn&#8217;t sound as if he has changed his ways. And, yes, if you choose to divorce him, you would have a right to remarry. &#8220;<em>And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery<\/em>&#8221; (Matthew 19:9).<\/p>\n<p>Before I let you go, let me suggest that for your children&#8217;s sake that you don&#8217;t rush off into another marriage if you do decide to divorce your husband. You need to look at what you did. You dated a man who spent time in jail. You knew he was having sex with other women, and I wouldn&#8217;t be surprised if that included you before your marriage. Yet, despite all that evidence that he would never make a good husband, you decided to marry him anyway. Your children do not need another man like that in their lives.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to finding a good husband, consider his ability to provide for his family, his ability to remain faithful to his commitments, and his desire to live morally. A man who wants to have sex without being married doesn&#8217;t put God or you first in his life.<\/p>\n<p>Who knows, the shock of your not tolerating his affairs might just cause your husband to straighten himself out for real.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I am married with two children and one on the way. I recently discovered that my husband was having an affair with another woman. I am questioning if divorce is the right decision. My husband flirts with females online and I have found inappropriate pictures of various females in his phone as well as&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-31023","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":68800,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-divorce-my-husband-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":31023,"position":0},"title":"Should I divorce my husband? (2)","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 14, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, My husband and I have recently separated. He lives in a different spot. It's been hard for me to decide whether or not I should stand for my marriage or just file for divorce. There was infidelity on my part 7 years ago, and I had carried the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31739,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-date-a-woman-who-divorced-her-husband-because-of-his-infidelity\/","url_meta":{"origin":31023,"position":1},"title":"Should I date a woman who divorced her husband because of his infidelity?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 12, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: There is a young woman who I'm interested in. Last year she divorced her husband because she found out through the woman he slept with and her friends that her husband was cheating on her. She said he also later confessed to her about sleeping around and that's when\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13326,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-divorce-my-husband-over-something-that-happened-twelve-years-ago\/","url_meta":{"origin":31023,"position":2},"title":"Should I divorce my husband over something that happened twelve years ago?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 29, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Twelve and a half years ago my husband was nearly arrested for having sex with another man in a public bathroom. At that time I also discovered he has a serious pornography addiction.\u00a0 He attended counseling for about six months and when the therapist moved he discontinued therapy.\u00a0 I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31571,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-husband-divorce-his-wife-ten-years-after-forgiving-her-of-an-affair\/","url_meta":{"origin":31023,"position":3},"title":"Can a husband divorce his wife ten years after forgiving her of an affair?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to help my sister in Christ. Situation:\u00a0 A woman cheats on her husband.\u00a0 Husband says he forgives her and stays with her for 10 years after the adultery.\u00a0 Over the 10 years, the husband never really gets over the infidelity. He eventually files for divorce and divorces\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3782,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-wasnt-honest-with-me-before-our-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":31023,"position":4},"title":"My husband wasn&#8217;t honest with me before our marriage","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 28, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I married and discovered my husband was unable to perform his marital duties. He knew but did not disclose it. Further, he said he had a job but was laid off months prior. I made every attempt to live by the law. When I discovered he still wasn't working,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":68779,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-have-grounds-for-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":31023,"position":5},"title":"Do I have grounds for a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 9, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings from the Philippines! I support your website and have been reading the posts and questions of other readers. I came to you because you answer the questions carefully and evaluate each scenario. I have been a Christian all my life by religion but just recently surrendered my life\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31023","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31023"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31023\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31023"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31023"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31023"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}