Over the last couple of years, members (particularly young adults) have fallen away from the church. It concerns me, as I have heard that they are going their own way and some now have relationships (boyfriend or girlfriends). I am not sure how to deal with the situation as these people have been an intricate part of the church for years. At times when I see them, I am not sure how to deal with the situation, and I feel resentment toward them. I know they probably sense this, and it becomes frustrating because I don’t what to say. At times, I tell myself to talk to them but I just can’t find the courage to say anything. But I am hoping that I can be strong and find the words to show them that members continue to care about them.<\/p>\n\t
I understand the frustration. People come to churches with all sorts of expectations regarding what the church can do for them. It is especially noticeable in small congregations when people come but leave because there are no children their child’s age, there aren’t enough people their own age or there aren’t enough activities, etc. It is frustrating because demographics are out of a church’s control. And the fact that people don’t stay means that the very segment they are looking for never builds up. However, the reality is that they are looking for the wrong thing.<\/p>\n
The church is about serving the Lord where each member contributes with what he or she is able toward the overall effort. When people leave, they really demonstrate that they are not apart of that effort. “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us; but they went out that they might be made manifest, that none of them were of us<\/em>” (II John 2:19). John is talking about false teachers, but I’ve noticed that most people who don’t stay with a church start talking about the church as a group separate from themselves. They don’t look at themselves as a part of the group, making it easier to leave.<\/p>\n Since I believe that one must be faithful to reach heaven (Hebrews 10:23-25), when I run into people that left the church, I feel sorry for them because they don’t realize what they have lost. I usually don’t get into personal matters because I don’t want it to appear that everything is fine the way things are. Instead, I’ll usually say “We’ve missed you and would like you to be apart of the church again.” For most, that is the last thing that they want and they’ll end the conversation. But at least I know that I left the door for returning open to them.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Over the last couple of years, members (particularly young adults) have fallen away from the church. It concerns me, as I have heard that they are going their own way and some now have relationships (boyfriend or girlfriends). I am not sure how to deal with the situation as these people have been an…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[356],"class_list":["post-30816","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-attendance"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17707,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-we-deal-with-homosexual-family-members\/","url_meta":{"origin":30816,"position":0},"title":"How do we deal with homosexual family members?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 3, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband's sister is homosexual and is living with a partner. My son's wife is best friends with a homosexual woman who is married to another woman. As a Christian who believes that everything Christ taught and everything the Bible says is true, I know this is wrong. My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":47844,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-leave-an-ineffective-discouraging-church\/","url_meta":{"origin":30816,"position":1},"title":"Should I leave an ineffective, discouraging church?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was looking through your website and found someone asked questions similar to questions I had at this page: When should I leave a church?\u00a0But I'm not sure you fully answered some of the questions, so I still wanted to ask them again. If there are multiple sound congregations\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":90216,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-deal-with-peoples-profanity\/","url_meta":{"origin":30816,"position":2},"title":"How do I deal with people’s profanity?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 7, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question or concern tonight. I was talking to my next-door neighbor this evening. I was passing by while working in the yard and started a conversation with him. I asked him about some work he had been doing in his yard. He used some very bad\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29756,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-leave-a-church-that-is-not-withdrawing-from-sinful-members\/","url_meta":{"origin":30816,"position":3},"title":"Should I leave a church that is not withdrawing from sinful members?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, I belong to a church of Christ that is sound in its teaching.\u00a0 I enjoy worshiping God there and the people are loving and kind.\u00a0 The problem I have is that we have leaders who are too kind to take a real stand to correct people who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36291,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-i-say-to-people-who-claim-god-told-them-to-do-something-foolish\/","url_meta":{"origin":30816,"position":4},"title":"What do I say to people who claim God told them to do something foolish?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings, I am a criminal defense lawyer. Often when I am discussing a plea deal with my clients they tell me that God will deliver them. They say that since they are innocent God wants them to go to trial and will not entertain plea offers. (This despite, in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39947,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/was-the-church-right-to-withdraw-from-a-couple-who-lived-together-without-being-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":30816,"position":5},"title":"Was the church right to withdraw from a couple who lived together without being married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband and I are faithful members of the Lord's church. We are active in a congregation in which a situation has occurred which has caused division in the congregation. 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