I am 24 and facing a serious problem managing my thoughts. I know you are a preacher and expect you to help me with Scripture.<\/p>\n
Several years ago I fell in love with a sister at a distant congregation. I exposed my mind to her, but then I was afraid. Later I called off my request. When I had enough courage to face it, she told me she was with another man. I left with so many regrets. I tried begging, but she said, “no.”<\/p>\n
Last year I decided to try elsewhere with the notion that the person I wanted has chosen by another person. This other sister accepted, but I have always had mixed feelings.<\/p>\n
Three days ago, the first sister told me that what she said was a lie and that it was because she was in love with my best friend. Yesterday, my best friend told me he is in love with her.<\/p>\n
I don’t know what to do, how to approach them both. I can’t study; I can’t sleep. All I feel like doing is changing towns.<\/p>\n\t
Your first girlfriend states that she is interested in your best friend and he reciprocates. That is the end of the story as far as you should be concerned. Yes, you were once interested in her many years ago. Neither you nor I know anything would have come as a result of your original interest. We won’t know because you called off your proposal, and though you since had doubts, that decision brought the matter to an end. Wish the two of them well, but you must move on.<\/p>\n
If I understand correctly, you proposed to marry another woman, but once again you are second-guessing yourself in regards to if you did the right thing. I suspect that almost all those doubts arise from not wanting to close yourself off from your first girlfriend. If that is true, you need to realize the first girl is not for you. Her heart is with another man — don’t get in between.<\/p>\n
I want you to think solely about this second woman. The question is: will she make you a good wife? Will she help you in your Christian walk? Will you be willing to devote yourself wholly to her? If there are factual reasons why you are not certain whether to marry her, then let’s talk about the facts. But I get the impression that there are no real reason, just personal doubts which arise from your imagination of what life could be with another woman.<\/p>\n
If I had to point to one thing that needs improving, it is that you need to be more serious about your word. “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one<\/em>” (Matthew 5:37). To give your word and then take it back is not proper honesty. You should not be committing to things until you are certain that is the path you wish to go. Yes, later events and fact might make you realize that a chosen path is not the right one. When that happens, then you make corrections. But to commit and then withdraw because of personal fears and doubts is not proper behavior for a Christian.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I am 24 and facing a serious problem managing my thoughts. I know you are a preacher and expect you to help me with Scripture. Several years ago I fell in love with a sister at a distant congregation. I exposed my mind to her, but then I was afraid. Later I called off…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,527],"class_list":["post-29701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-honesty"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40392,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-father-rarely-gets-angry-but-when-he-does-he-gets-extremely-violent-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":29701,"position":0},"title":"My father rarely gets angry, but when he does, he gets extremely violent. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, My father keeps abusing my mother. The first physical fight happen when I was two years old. My other sisters were a few years older, so they remember it better than I do. My father was very kind and treated my mother nicely, but his attitude changed after\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19157,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-the-person-who-had-sex-with-another-persons-fiancee-needs-to-apologize-to-the-fiancee\/","url_meta":{"origin":29701,"position":1},"title":"Does the person who had sex with another person’s fiancee needs to apologize to the fiancee","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 27, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If a Christian sister falls into formication with a brother who is engaged, and both have sincerely repented, is it necessary for the sister to call the brother's fianc\u00e9e to apologize as a form of restitution?\u00a0 Does the brother need to tell his fianc\u00e9e and show her the sister\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16763,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-the-bible-teach-that-you-dont-have-to-congregate-to-go-to-heaven\/","url_meta":{"origin":29701,"position":2},"title":"Does the Bible teach that you don’t have to congregate to go to heaven?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 4, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A good friend and fellow sister in Christ called last night to tell me about a conversation she'd had with a few co-workers. One guy said that, although he didn't know where, he knew the Bible said you 'don't have to congregate to go to heaven.' A woman said\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":68299,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-there-no-proof-of-christianitys-truth\/","url_meta":{"origin":29701,"position":3},"title":"Is there no proof of Christianity’s truth?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 8, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My sister told me to grow up. She said, \"I feel like I'm talking to a younger me,\" and told me that I'd understand what she spoke of when I was older. What did she speak of? She denied Christ and said, \"I am sure Christ made mistakes.\" When\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51426,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-should-the-problem-of-child-abuse-be-handled\/","url_meta":{"origin":29701,"position":4},"title":"How should the problem of child abuse be handled?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 19, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: There exist two families: A and B. Family A could not conceive a child, so the wife of Mr. A adopted two daughters of Mrs. B, who happened to be her younger sister. Mr. B, the father of the adopted daughters, isn't responsible at all. He neglected all his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29394,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-you-become-best-friends-isnt-there-a-danger-of-the-girl-not-wanting-to-marry-you-because-she-only-sees-you-as-a-friend-or-a-brother\/","url_meta":{"origin":29701,"position":5},"title":"If you become best friends, isn’t there a danger of the girl not wanting to marry you because she only sees you as a friend or a brother?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 3, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I hope that you still use this email address for I have just read something on your website that appears to be contrary to what I have learned from experience.\u00a0 In your article on lust, you state: \"Love is built on a relationship between a man and a woman\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29701"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29701\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}