In a second marriage where a non-Christian is wanting to become a Christian but was divorced for reasons other than adultery, is the sin the adultery or the remarriage?\u00a0I am asking this in the context of repenting.\u00a0Do you repent of the adultery in this second marriage or repent of the divorce and remarriage and never do it again in the future, or is being married again the sin whereby you have to undo it?<\/p>\n\t
The second marriage is the reason the couple is committing adultery. You cannot divide the two.<\/p>\n
“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery<\/em>” (Matthew 19:9).<\/p>\n
“For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man<\/em>” (Romans 7:2-3).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\t
Question:<\/h2>\n
Well, that sure makes things difficult for my sister.\u00a0 The congregation I attend has taught this same way on divorce, and I have always found it difficult to accept it.\u00a0 She was sixteen when she married and of course, it didn’t work out.\u00a0 Now she is in her later years, and when my husband died in July it shook her up so much she decided she needed to go to church.\u00a0 She did.\u00a0 She went to be baptized and they put her off.\u00a0 The preacher there came to her home and explained the situation to her.\u00a0 Her daughter is devastated at the idea that her mom and dad have to divorce each other for them to become Christians.\u00a0 Seems to me like we are making remarriage the “unforgivable sin.”\u00a0 I realize repenting means not to engage in anymore.\u00a0 She does not intend to engage in divorce again.\u00a0 If a murder wants to become a member, he can’t go back and un-murder or a rapist go back and un-rape.\u00a0 I still find it hard to understand that she must go back and unmarry. She was told she was still married to her first husband.<\/p>\n
I was looking at Deuteronomy 24:1-4. I know the Old Testament was nailed to the cross, but it was also written for our learning.\u00a0 The idea of going back to her first husband does not seem to be God’s will then and as He is unchanging why is it now?<\/p>\n
I know this is a lot to ask, but I am so confused.\u00a0 The preacher there says one thing, the preacher here says something else, so I was looking for a third, unbiased opinion.<\/p>\n\t
Answer:<\/h2>\n
I’ll try explaining again. A person who enters into a marriage when either they or the spouse does not have a right to marry again is in the state of adultery. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery<\/em>” (Matthew 19:9). The marriage began the situation, but it remains adulterous so long as the marriage continues. In Greek, it is a bit clearer because the term “commits adultery” refers to something that is currently true and continues to be true. “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.\u00a0So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress<\/strong>; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man<\/em>” (Romans 7:2-3). You are seeing the adultery as only being the act of marrying a second time — it isn’t. Adultery is having sex with someone who is not your spouse.<\/p>\n
To use your illustration, a thief remains a thief while he continues to steal. Be baptized does not make his stealing acceptable. In fact, to be baptized a thief would have to repent of his stealing. The stealing would have to stop, the person acknowledges that it was wrong and is committed to not continuing to steal. In the same way, your sister is in adultery right now and it is continuing since you state that her current marriage isn’t according to God’s laws. She doesn’t desire to repent of that sin, she doesn’t want to stop it or change her life. Therefore, she is unable to repent and be baptized (Acts 2:38).<\/p>\n
I would not say that she is still married to her first husband. I Corinthians 7:10-11 uses the word “unmarried.” However, she is still bound by the terms of the covenant she made with her first husband, which is why she is ineligible to marry again. The only things that end a marriage covenant are the death of a spouse (Romans 7:2-3) or divorce because the former spouse committed fornication (Matthew 19:9).<\/p>\n
I know of nothing that requires your sister to return to her former husband. What is stated is: “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:10-11). By divorcing for reasons other than because her former husband was committing fornication, she limited herself to two options. She can remain single or she can remarry her former husband. There is no option to marry anyone else.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: In a second marriage where a non-Christian is wanting to become a Christian but was divorced for reasons other than adultery, is the sin the adultery or the remarriage?\u00a0I am asking this in the context of repenting.\u00a0Do you repent of the adultery in this second marriage or repent of the divorce and remarriage and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,52,167,50],"class_list":["post-29692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-baptism","tag-divorce","tag-repentance"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16856,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-person-remarry-if-their-spouse-commits-adultery-after-the-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":29692,"position":0},"title":"Can a person remarry if their spouse commits adultery after the divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 17, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to ask you about two people who have divorced. I understand they are supposed to remain unmarried, and if one of them does get married later, he is living in adultery. Is the other person free to marry, since in God's eyes they are still connected to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28246,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-my-husband-left-his-improper-second-marriage-could-he-marry-me-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":29692,"position":1},"title":"If my husband left his improper second marriage, could he marry me again?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 29, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been reading a number of your \"questions-and-answers\" on your web site regarding divorce and remarriage. Could you please shed your thoughts and opinions on the following for me? I am very confused. First of all, I would like to say that I agree with your view of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18558,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-had-an-affair-and-divorced-my-husband-now-i-have-married-again-is-it-wrong-to-stay-married-to-this-second-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":29692,"position":2},"title":"I had an affair and divorced my husband. Now I have married again. Is it wrong to stay married to this second man?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 2, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I know divorce is wrong. I know adultery is wrong. I have committed adultery, got a divorce and I have remarried to a man that I had an affair with. He and I both go to church now and we both know we have sinned and have asked for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27682,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-remarry-if-i-have-committed-adultery-with-my-first-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":29692,"position":3},"title":"Can I remarry if I have committed adultery with my first husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 2, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Can I remarry if I have committed adultery with my first husband, and if not, what should I do to get it right with God? Answer: You are asking the wrong question. \"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18479,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/isnt-divorce-for-any-reason-other-than-fornication-a-sin\/","url_meta":{"origin":29692,"position":4},"title":"Isn’t divorce for any reason other than fornication a sin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 22, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Where is the Scripture that God allows divorce for any reason other than fornication,\u00a0such as\u00a0drug addiction, or abuse? I Corinthians 7:10 is not giving permission to divorce.\u00a0It is a command not to.\u00a0 If disobeyed, however, I Corinthians 7:11 says she must remain unmarried.\u00a0There is only one scriptural cause for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49679,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-a-person-is-divorced-for-fornication-does-that-mean-he-cannot-reconcile-with-his-former-spouse\/","url_meta":{"origin":29692,"position":5},"title":"If a person is divorced for fornication, does that mean he cannot reconcile with his former spouse?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 29, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi Jeff, I talked about the subject of divorce and remarriage with a preacher. I listened to what he said carefully but couldn't prove him wrong. I don't want to let my biases get in the way, but we're not in agreement. I told him I won't preach on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29692"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29692\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}