{"id":29441,"date":"2011-10-06T19:52:00","date_gmt":"2011-10-07T00:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=29441"},"modified":"2021-01-04T19:53:59","modified_gmt":"2021-01-05T01:53:59","slug":"am-i-still-a-virgin-after-giving-oral-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-still-a-virgin-after-giving-oral-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I still a virgin after giving oral sex?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I had oral sex twice, but both times it wasn&#8217;t sexual at all. My intention wasn&#8217;t to please him. I panicked and did it. And being that I was sexually abused a lot of things cause me to panic, but I should have never put myself in that situation knowing I was weak. Am I still a virgin?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>I understand the value placed on virginity. Those striving to live a Christian life want to be able to say they have not fallen prey to sexual sins. But what happens is that people start playing word games to claim status. But such games become a distraction from the truth. &#8220;<em>Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers<\/em>&#8221; (II Timothy 2:14). So, let&#8217;s look at what people mean when they call someone a virgin:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;A woman who has had no carnal knowledge of man; a maiden of inviolate chastity; a man who has preserved his chastity; &#8230; chaste; untouched; fresh; unsullied&#8221; [<em>The New Webster Encyclopedic Dictionary of the English Language<\/em>]<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse&#8221; [<em>The American Heritage Dictionary<\/em>]<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;A person who has never had sex&#8221; [wordnet.princeton.edu]<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;A virgin is most commonly seen as a person who has not engaged in sexual intercourse. In a stricter sense, it is somebody who has not yet engaged in sexual activities&#8221; [<a href=\"http:\/\/www.google.com\/url?sa=X&amp;start=5&amp;oi=define&amp;q=http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Virgin&amp;usg=__vh4kf-7onHL2I8aa70_QnHuu2Vo=\">Wikipedia: Virgin<\/a>]<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The last definition gives us a hint as to what is happening in our society. To escape facing the reality of what someone has done, the sin is defined as strictly as possible so that what the person did isn&#8217;t included. Thus, it is not just sex in general, it is only sexual intercourse.<\/p>\n<p>Notice what you did: You state that you had oral\u00a0<em>sex<\/em>\u00a0twice. but then claimed it wasn&#8217;t\u00a0<em>sexual<\/em>. You can&#8217;t have it both ways. Nor does your intentions change reality. A person might not intend to have an accident, but if they crash during a moment of distraction, they still had an accident. I&#8217;ve had lots of letters from people who didn&#8217;t intend to have intercourse, but they did. It what they did that defines the facts, not their intentions. Nor does sex require enjoyment in order for it to be sex.<\/p>\n<p>By the definition of the word, no, you are not a virgin. You have had sexual experiences. If someone asks if you are a virgin, you can avoid the word games by just saying &#8220;I never had intercourse&#8221; (assuming your abuse in the past didn&#8217;t involve intercourse). If someone presses, the proper answer would be &#8220;I have done things in my past that I&#8217;m now ashamed of, so I don&#8217;t want to get into that subject.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Rather than worry about a past you cannot change, focus on your future. You realize that you did wrong. So change your ways and start living a better life following Christ. &#8220;<em>Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God<\/em>&#8221; (I Corinthians 6:9-11).<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I had oral sex twice, but both times it wasn&#8217;t sexual at all. My intention wasn&#8217;t to please him. I panicked and did it. And being that I was sexually abused a lot of things cause me to panic, but I should have never put myself in that situation knowing I was weak. Am&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572,442,789],"class_list":["post-29441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication","tag-oral-sex","tag-virginity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18717,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-woman-give-birth-to-her-firstborn-and-remain-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":29441,"position":0},"title":"Can a woman give birth to her firstborn and remain a virgin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 22, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: We recently went into an argument with a group of girls and boys on the topic: \"Can a woman deliver a child and remain a virgin?\" We took our separate ways and decided to contact others who may have knowledge better than we do. Now here is our chance\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25852,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-happens-if-you-already-lost-your-virginity-where-do-you-fit-in-will-you-always-be-second-class\/","url_meta":{"origin":29441,"position":1},"title":"What happens if you already lost your virginity? Where do you fit in? Will you always be second-class?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 29, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I have been reading around your site for a bit and I wanted to ask a question. My question is about pre-marital sex. I know and I understand that it is wrong and shouldn't be done. But the thing is, I had oral sex just once. I know\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42108,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-had-oral-sex-with-several-girls-but-im-thinking-of-breaking-up-with-my-girlfriend-because-she-is-not-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":29441,"position":2},"title":"I&#8217;ve had oral sex with several girls, but I&#8217;m thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend because she is not a virgin","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 11, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My girlfriend is not a virgin. I'm a virgin but had oral sex with eight girls. Should I leave her? I need a Christian point of view on this unique situation. My girlfriend is 18 and I am 17. She repented and regretted having intercourse with her ex-boyfriend and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7694,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-was-proof-required-of-virginity-in-the-old-testament\/","url_meta":{"origin":29441,"position":3},"title":"Why was proof required of virginity in the Old Testament?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 2, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What if a woman has had oral sex with her boyfriend? Can she just repent and be forgiven? The Old Testament seems very harsh concerning death for them both. Why did God forbid it? I never had any blood when I first had sex. I was supposed to be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8133,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-you-still-a-virgin-after-anal-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":29441,"position":4},"title":"Are you still a virgin after anal sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 16, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Are you still a virgin if you have anal sex? I am a 14-year-old teenager (and still a virgin). A boy I know told me that he had anal sex with a girl. But not in her vagina and he said it only lasted for a couple of seconds\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7805,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-a-woman-who-was-raped-still-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":29441,"position":5},"title":"Is a woman, who was raped, still a virgin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 14, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a friend who was raped. She wants to know if she is still a virgin according to the Bible. Is she? 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