A brother in Christ is having a birthday this coming Sunday. His wife has planned a surprise party to be held in the church building after the evening worship. She has asked that we should all write a message to be included in an “honoring note” to her husband. The preacher is collecting these messages of “love, respect, and appreciation” and urging us to respond as soon as possible. I am having a terribly hard time with this, not because I don’t appreciate and love this brother, but because first, I believe a birthday party in the church building isn’t scriptural, and second, the idea of asking the congregation to send “messages of honor” is, for some reason, giving me a very uncomfortable feeling. It seems like I’ve read about paying honor to men somewhere in the Bible but can’t find it.\u00a0 Am I passing an unrighteous judgment? Please help! I don’t know what to do.\u00a0 The honoring messages are due within the next couple of days. I explained to the preacher that attending the party would violate my conscience and he understands but thought maybe we should “study about it” sometime. Now I’m faced with the “honoring note” problem and whether or not it would encourage continued use of the building for social functions (there is already a potluck in the building every month, which I do not attend).<\/p>\n
Thank you.<\/p>\n\t
There are passages that state we should not forget those who because of the duties they perform on our behalf benefit us.<\/p>\n
In doing this we are not elevating men. The focus is on the work done.<\/p>\n
I agree that holding a birthday party at the building sends the wrong message. So why not simply send a birthday card directly to the brother? Nothing says you have to do as the rest to be respectful of a brother, and in this way, you are being kind while not violating what you know of the Scriptures.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: A brother in Christ is having a birthday this coming Sunday. His wife has planned a surprise party to be held in the church building after the evening worship. She has asked that we should all write a message to be included in an “honoring note” to her husband. The preacher is collecting these…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[151,198],"class_list":["post-28979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-eating-in-the-building","tag-honor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13690,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-attend-a-birthday-party-where-people-involved-in-sin-will-be\/","url_meta":{"origin":28979,"position":0},"title":"Should I attend a birthday party where people involved in sin will be?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 21, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What would you do if going to a family birthday with people you love a lot meant you would be around a gay couple? Half of our family are not Christians and will say we are too judgmental. Answer: \"Then it happened that as Jesus was reclining at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25687,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-go-to-my-brothers-birthday-party-he-fell-away-from-christ-years-ago\/","url_meta":{"origin":28979,"position":1},"title":"Do I go to my brother’s birthday party? He fell away from Christ years ago","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 21, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My fiancee and I were having a discussion that got kind of heated. I let it go too far, and I realized I had issues in certain areas of my life with my oldest brother, who has turned away from God for the past 15 or so years. It\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":84778,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/honoring-your-parents\/","url_meta":{"origin":28979,"position":2},"title":"Honoring Your Parents","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 21, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Perry Hall I have two adopted children whom we taught to honor their biological parents by praying for them. The greatest self-respect comes from my character, not theirs. I understand the difficulty of honoring parents who are unworthy. I am also called to love my enemies, and sometimes, that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":84899,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/honoring-men-and-honoring-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":28979,"position":3},"title":"Honoring Men and Honoring God","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 22, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Floyd Chappalear via Sentry Magazine, Vol. 13, No. 4, December 31, 1987 We do not honor these men by merely naming a \"holiday\" after them. On the contrary, we honor them by incorporating into our daily lives the good principles for which they stood. We practice the things they\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rushmore-300x200.avif","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":68180,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-god-honor-all-marriages\/","url_meta":{"origin":28979,"position":4},"title":"Does God honor all marriages?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 22, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good morning, I would like to know if God honors all marriages. I was recently in a study and they brought up Hebrews 13:4. I was told this verse God applies to Christians who are in the church. God does not honor marriages outside of Christ. For example, if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3542,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-honoring-your-mother-and-father-mean-following-their-religious-beliefs\/","url_meta":{"origin":28979,"position":5},"title":"Does “honoring your mother and father” mean following their religious beliefs?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was just reading\u00a0the essay on your website about \"honoring your father and mother\". I have been doing some research on the meaning of the word \"honor\", and I was wondering if you could answer a question for me, or just give me your opinion? 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