{"id":28492,"date":"2014-08-18T21:06:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-19T02:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=28492"},"modified":"2020-12-10T21:09:14","modified_gmt":"2020-12-11T03:09:14","slug":"ive-squandered-our-money-hiding-it-from-my-husband-but-now-it-is-out-in-the-open-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-squandered-our-money-hiding-it-from-my-husband-but-now-it-is-out-in-the-open-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"I’ve squandered our money, hiding it from my husband, but now it is out in the open and I don’t know what to do."},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

I have been lying to my husband about our finances pretty much ever since we got married. I have always had horrible money management, and he knows that but not to what extent. He is deployed and this is our first time apart for more than two months since we’ve been married, and I can say that this is the hardest time in my life and our marriage. I have always had a problem with deceit. I didn’t ever tell him the whole truth about the finances unless he happened to find out on his own. Since he has been gone I have squandered our money, and I have put us in debt.<\/p>\n

I have been fasting and praying to break these strongholds, and just yesterday I feel that they have been broken. I confessed to God and truly repented of lying and being financially unfaithful, however, I did not seek advice before taking action. I made a plan to be truthful and transparent, but in this plan, I was to tell my husband everything I have been doing since he has been gone. So I went through with my plan and told him everything early this morning. I somehow never fully understood the scriptures on prudence and I’m not good at being discreet. So I told him everything and he is livid as he should be. All of his hard-earned money is going down the drain along with all of our future plans. He really is working hard and is truly trying to live according to the Bible. I believe that he has really fought hard not to sin against God or me, and now he sees that I have been sinning against God and him. I don’t want to hurt him but I can’t let him think that he would have this money when he comes home and then finds that there’s nothing there. Also because I knew that he would find out soon because I might have affected his credit.<\/p>\n

I don’t want him stressing and having a hard time while he’s away, but I really made a bad situation worse. I thought that I needed to tell him to be truthful, and transparent. Was this the correct thing to do? Are there any biblical solutions to this? I know that I shouldn’t have mismanaged the money, and I shouldn’t have lied, but I did, and now I don’t know where to begin to try to fix it.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

It almost seems that you are trying to destroy your marriage. Yes, you needed to tell your husband the truth because he is directly impacted by your foolish behavior. This isn’t something you can repair without him knowing.<\/p>\n

The first thing you are going to do is go to\u00a0DaveRamsey.com<\/a>. I don’t often recommend outside resources, but you need specialized help and quickly. I want you to find the nearest class to you and go, or take the classes online. I don’t know of a better, practical, and scripturally sound program. He also has a radio show that will give you good starting tips. It will be rough but exciting as you begin to make progress.<\/p>\n

You’ll have to stop being the naive little girl who needs rescuing. You’re in the adult world and you need to grow up fast.<\/p>\n\t

Response:<\/h2>\n

I thank you for your help and I pray that I haven’t destroyed it. I pray that God will bless you greatly for helping His people to understand what it means to walk in His ways.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I have been lying to my husband about our finances pretty much ever since we got married. I have always had horrible money management, and he knows that but not to what extent. He is deployed and this is our first time apart for more than two months since we’ve been married, and I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[64,258],"class_list":["post-28492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-marriage","tag-money-management"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":26810,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-someone-to-love-why-cant-i-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":28492,"position":0},"title":"I want someone to love. Why can’t I remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 5, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married for ten years. In the last four years of marriage, my husband was a deacon at the church we attended. Throughout our entire marriage he had a lying and stealing issue, and unbeknownst to me an opioids addiction as well. Long story short the opioids took\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3066,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-all-marriages-spiritually-binding\/","url_meta":{"origin":28492,"position":1},"title":"Are all marriages spiritually binding?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I attend a church of Christ, and my boyfriend of several years was baptized about a few years ago. We broke up last year for several months due to some differences but have since decided to be back together. My boyfriend is in the military and during the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14974,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-was-previously-involved-in-a-marriage-scam-is-my-marriage-legitimate\/","url_meta":{"origin":28492,"position":2},"title":"My husband was previously involved in a marriage scam. Is my marriage legitimate?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 9, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Thank you for reading and responding. I have found your articles and answers to be very helpful and I\u2019m happy a platform as such exists.\u00a0 I met my husband the same day he filed for divorce and things between us moved fast. We were married in less than a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39743,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-we-straighten-out-ending-our-past-marriages-would-we-still-be-in-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":28492,"position":3},"title":"If we straighten out ending our past marriages, would we still be in adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have seen you talking about adultery on a website answering questions. I myself have the same issue. I'm living with my boyfriend of\u00a0five years, and we have a child together. He is married to another woman, but they have been separated for ten years and he has not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42512,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-left-me-and-im-barely-making-my-income-last-each-month-is-it-wrong-if-i-dont-give-as-much\/","url_meta":{"origin":28492,"position":4},"title":"My husband left me and I’m barely making my income last each month. Is it wrong if I don’t give as much?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Brother in Christ: I cannot first say how thankful to God I am for blessing you with the spiritual wisdom and knowledge to provide biblical answers for our questions, and for rightly dividing the word of truth. First, I am a member of the body of Christ, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37471,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-married-a-man-not-realizing-what-he-was-like-or-what-his-past-was-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":28492,"position":5},"title":"I married a man, not realizing what he was like or what his past was. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I got married several years ago to someone that I really didn't know. We met in the fall and married the following summer. It was one of the most foolish things that I have done, and have regretted it every single day. I believed he was a Christian. 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