Hi,<\/p>\n
I want to start by saying how I appreciate your help to others as seen through your web site. My question is: I recently got saved and have been in secular relationships before. There is this lady in our fellowship group whom I am deeply in love with and would wish to start a Christian relationship with her, but I am afraid she might view my reactions as too fast when I approach her. What advice can you give me? Do I inform her? What are the expectations of a Christian relationship?<\/p>\n
Thank you.<\/p>\n\t
Your question is a bit difficult to answer because people in general play games with words like “relationship.” I’ve seen it use from a decision to date to having sex. Broad words are often used because people don’t want to admit that they are sinning.<\/p>\n
The best advice I can give is one found in Song of Solomon 2:7, “I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.<\/em>” There is no need to rush. You can take the time to let a relationship develop. People fall into trouble when they try to make things happen faster. In their rush, they do things they should not do at that time.<\/p>\n I assume you’ve gotten to know this woman and are good friends with her. So ask her out for meals, ask her to join you in doing things, basically find reasons to be able to spend more time with her to get to know her better. When you get to the point that you are certain that she is the kind of lady you want at your side for the rest of your life, then tell her so and ask if she would consent to marry you. Even then, spend some time (I usually recommend a year), being engaged to make all the preparations for setting up a household together. This would be the time to work out all the problems that are bound to come up, and if they can’t be worked out, then don’t get married.<\/p>\n Paul told Timothy, to treat “younger women as sisters, with absolute purity<\/em>” (I Timothy 5:2). Sex and the things related to it are for after marriage, not before. Don’t be stirring up passions until the night of your wedding. Treat the woman you love with respect. Be the guardian of her honor and not her downfall.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hi, I want to start by saying how I appreciate your help to others as seen through your web site. My question is: I recently got saved and have been in secular relationships before. There is this lady in our fellowship group whom I am deeply in love with and would wish to start…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149],"class_list":["post-28221","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4913,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-continue-a-relationship-with-someone-of-a-different-religion\/","url_meta":{"origin":28221,"position":0},"title":"Should I continue a relationship with someone of a different religion?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 27, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am involved with a young lady who is of a different denomination (AME). We've had a relationship for four years and have yet to make any decision on our future. She is convinced she saved but does not want to attend the Church of Christ because it is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33344,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-cant-make-up-my-mind-about-the-guy-i-lost-my-virginity-to\/","url_meta":{"origin":28221,"position":1},"title":"I can’t make up my mind about the guy I lost my virginity to","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am from a Christian family. I have been taught God's standards when it comes to sex and wished I wasn't in this position. 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I was searching the web for some answers on some Christian web sites when I came across your answer to a question that I had, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41963,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-we-break-up-so-my-boyfriends-parents-dont-think-he-converts-because-of-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":28221,"position":4},"title":"Should we break up so my boyfriend’s parents don’t think he converts because of me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I just came across your website and you had really good advice especially about relationships. I hope you can give me some advice on my problem. I met my boyfriend during university life three years ago and during that time he wasn't a Christian. I knew it was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51171,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-continue-with-the-relationship-without-the-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":28221,"position":5},"title":"Can I continue with the relationship without the sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good morning minister, Please, I am in need of your advice. I have been involved in premarital sex with my girlfriend. Although before all the sex stuff started, I didn't build a friendship as part of the relationship. 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