I am desperate for your help. \u00a0I am struggling in marriage. I am a Christian and my husband is not, but first, let me give you background information.<\/p>\n
I lost my virginity when I was 17 after I became engaged to my future husband. \u00a0We were married for almost a decade. \u00a0He cheated on me several times; the last time the girl became pregnant. \u00a0We had children together, and I was scared to be alone, so we went back and forth for a while about staying together. \u00a0I was ready to forgive, but he kept seeing the other woman. \u00a0During the back and forth period, I dated and had sex with three different people. \u00a0This was before the divorce was filed for or granted. I eventually moved in with my mother and started dating someone, and we eventually moved in together. \u00a0My divorce was finalized, and I eventually married the second man. My first husband continued to date the other woman for many years, fathering another child and cheating on her all the while.<\/p>\n
I have an issue with all of my behavior, and I have prayed for forgiveness for all of this. \u00a0I have lately been questioning the validity of my second marriage.<\/p>\n
All that is just the background to my questions. \u00a0Feel free to comment because I am curious about all of that too.<\/p>\n
My current husband has repeatedly been caught “sexting” with other women. \u00a0He sends dirty pictures of himself and they reciprocate. \u00a0I have asked him to stop, and he refuses. \u00a0He also has conversations with these women and sees them in his job. \u00a0I do not know if he has physically cheated on me or not. \u00a0I love him, and assuming I am scripturally within my rights, I would like to remain married, so I told him he could stay. \u00a0But he hasn’t stopped. \u00a0In reading on your site, I see that the texts are not grounds for divorce, but I am afraid that if I make him separate from me, he will sleep with someone else if he hasn’t already. \u00a0I am physically sickened by what is happening. \u00a0I don’t want to stay here and allow him to continue his behavior because it hurts as bad as cheating. \u00a0He is thinking of other women, silencing his phone, and generally behaving sneakily. \u00a0I don’t know what to do, or what my rights and obligations are. \u00a0Please help me.<\/p>\n
Am I able to ever be married?<\/p>\n
Do I have options regarding my current situation?<\/p>\n
I would love it if my second marriage was scripturally sound, and I could get him in church with me, and he would stop, and we could fix this, but I am concerned that isn’t the case.<\/p>\n\t
Regarding your first marriage, you did have a right to divorce your husband because of his adultery. Your own adultery complicates the issue. It appears to me that in reality, the divorce occurred because you found another man. You remained in your marriage while you both were committing adultery. It was only after you decided to marry another man that you actually filed for a divorce from your first marriage. However I look at this, it appears that your divorce was because of your adultery and not his. His adultery was simply the excuse you gave yourself for your own adultery. Given that conclusion, I cannot say you had the right to marry again.<\/p>\n
I wish I could give you happier advice, but it appears to me that the best route is to end this second marriage and plan on a single life.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I am desperate for your help. \u00a0I am struggling in marriage. I am a Christian and my husband is not, but first, let me give you background information. I lost my virginity when I was 17 after I became engaged to my future husband. \u00a0We were married for almost a decade. \u00a0He cheated on…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,167],"class_list":["post-28063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32710,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-forgiven-after-being-divorced-for-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":28063,"position":0},"title":"Am I forgiven after being divorced for adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I always thought my husband had cheated on me while we were married but could not prove it. We didn't have a great marriage. He always treated me like he was ashamed of me. He had a good job and made comments all the time about my lack of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19069,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-cheated-and-i-cheated-i-lived-with-a-man-for-years-before-the-divorce-was-final-we-eventually-married-but-did-i-have-the-right-to-marry-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":28063,"position":1},"title":"My husband cheated and I cheated. I lived with a man for years before the divorce was final. We eventually married, but did I have the right to marry again?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 6, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: As I read through some of your posts on adultery, one comes strongly out to me. I will explain my situation: I married a man. I didn't talk to God or parents before it and we were kids, even as adults we were kids. Then we had a kid.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-married-a-man-who-was-divorced-because-of-his-adultery-is-our-marriage-ok\/","url_meta":{"origin":28063,"position":2},"title":"I married a man who was divorced because of his adultery. Is our marriage ok?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you do if you are a Christian, have a second marriage, and realize only too late that it was not the will of God?\u00a0 My spouse was a called man of God, but he committed adultery in his first marriage.\u00a0He is no longer preaching, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37904,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-second-husband-left-and-now-wants-a-divorce-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":28063,"position":3},"title":"My second husband left and now wants a divorce. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a past that I am not proud of. I was in and out of the church and never truly committed to God.\u00a0 I did ask for salvation when I was around 19 but was still not committed to God. I was married for the wrong reasons to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43635,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-cheated-on-my-marriage-can-i-be-forgiven-can-i-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":28063,"position":4},"title":"I cheated on my marriage. Can I be forgiven? Can I remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Blessings! I have three questions: Will God forgive me because I committed adultery twice in my marriage with the same man and I was already a Christian? Can I remarry the man with the one I cheated on my now ex-husband with? We still see each other and talk,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39991,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-my-husband-committed-adultery-in-the-past-can-i-remarry-even-though-ive-been-sleeping-with-a-man-before-i-divorced-my-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":28063,"position":5},"title":"Since my husband committed adultery in the past, can I remarry even though I’ve been sleeping with a man before I divorced my husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married at 20 years old. Two months after our marriage my husband admitted to making out with another woman and asked for a divorce. I dismissed his request as being childish and continued with the marriage. After a year of marriage, he admitted to making out with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28063"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28063\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}