Hi,<\/p>\n
I just want to thank you for answering some of the questions and confusions I have been dealing with.<\/p>\n
I am a real Bible-believing Christian woman who just divorced my husband of 20 years over his prolonged, continuous, unrepentant adultery. I prayed over him and reasoned with him for over a year before taking this final step. I finally came to realize that he wasn’t the good Christian man I had believed him to be. He had taught in the church Bible study for years (during which time he was conducting his affair). He seemed to have such a desire for God, but when he was presented with the choice of God or his sinful ways — he chose the path of sin and destruction. He completely admits he is wrong to pursue his affair but makes excuses: “God will forgive me,” ” I just don’t love you anymore,” “our relationship has just run its course,” and of course the big lie: “God has provided this woman for me for my happiness, after all, He wants all His children to be happy!”<\/p>\n
Anyway, I was willing to forgive whole-heartedly if he would only repent, and he refused. So, I finally filed for divorce, and he moved in with his “new fiance.” The church I attend was very supportive and fully acknowledged my right to divorce, but many members and my Christian friends began immediately urging me to “forgive him” and develop a good relationship with him for my children’s sake (I have teenagers). I don’t believe that it is scriptural to “forgive” one who is unrepentant and continuing in sin. I mean, I don’t malign him in any personal manner, but I refuse to excuse his sin or imply to my children that it doesn’t matter. I am dealing with God in my own spirit because of my anger and disillusionment, but I am praying daily to “be anger and sin not,” until I can finally turn over all my anger to God, where it belongs.<\/p>\n
I was going to write to your site to ask about why my Christian friends were so soft on sin and about whether I was wrong to believe forgiveness and repentance went together, but I found articles and questions that answered my own questions very well. So thank you for your good scriptural answers.<\/p>\n\t
I’m glad the website has been useful to you.<\/p>\n
While you cannot offer your ex-husband forgiveness because he will not repent, you don’t let him dictate your attitudes. Yes, he was wrong and remains in the wrong. Be sorry that he is giving up eternal life for such temporary pleasures. Be of the state of mind that if he ever does come to his senses, you’ll be the first in line to tell him that you won’t hold it against him. You can’t agree with his sin or support him in his sin. You can’t whitewash over the sins. But it doesn’t have to interfere with your life and your outlook.<\/p>\n
“For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt. Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another<\/em>” (Mark 9:49-50).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hi, I just want to thank you for answering some of the questions and confusions I have been dealing with. I am a real Bible-believing Christian woman who just divorced my husband of 20 years over his prolonged, continuous, unrepentant adultery. I prayed over him and reasoned with him for over a year before…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[127,1571,50],"class_list":["post-27917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-about-this-site","tag-forgiveness","tag-repentance"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":31349,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-a-brother-had-an-affair-for-five-years-and-says-he-repented-should-he-be-used-in-service-to-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":27917,"position":0},"title":"If a brother had an affair for five years and says he repented, should he be used in service to God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A brother had a five-year affair. His wife didn't know about the affair. He says he has repented. Can he work in the worship service and be one of the spiritual leaders? What does he need to do? Answer: \"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31571,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-husband-divorce-his-wife-ten-years-after-forgiving-her-of-an-affair\/","url_meta":{"origin":27917,"position":1},"title":"Can a husband divorce his wife ten years after forgiving her of an affair?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to help my sister in Christ. Situation:\u00a0 A woman cheats on her husband.\u00a0 Husband says he forgives her and stays with her for 10 years after the adultery.\u00a0 Over the 10 years, the husband never really gets over the infidelity. He eventually files for divorce and divorces\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36815,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-there-any-certain-prayer-of-forgiveness-for-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":27917,"position":2},"title":"Is there any certain prayer of forgiveness for fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I'm a Catholic. I'm in need of advice! I've committed fornication with a girl I'm in a relationship with! I prayed to God for forgiveness! Is there any certain prayer of forgiveness to pray for the sinful acts I've done? I don't want to turn my back on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38676,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-forgive-my-husband-for-his-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":27917,"position":3},"title":"How can I forgive my husband for his adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been married for almost 25 years and found out several weeks ago that my husband has had an affair.\u00a0 I knew something was wrong but was too blind to know what for the past two years and sought Christian counsel to help me.\u00a0 One person asked me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35374,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-i-do-about-my-past-affair\/","url_meta":{"origin":27917,"position":4},"title":"What do I do about my past affair?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been married for almost 30 years.\u00a0 I got married in my early twenties to my high school sweetheart for all the wrong reasons.\u00a0 I have really never been happy in this marriage.\u00a0 I have grown children.\u00a0 I had an affair with a man for ten years.\u00a0 We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45446,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-found-out-months-ago-that-my-husband-is-having-an-affair-but-i-cant-bring-myself-to-forgive-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":27917,"position":5},"title":"I found out months ago that my husband is having an affair, but I can’t bring myself to forgive him","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, Almost two years ago I found out that my husband was having inappropriate conversations with women. I prayed for God to reveal to me what I needed to know. That's when I spoke to one of the women that my husband was having an affair with last year.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27917","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27917"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27917\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27917"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27917"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27917"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}