his brother in regard to I Corinthians 5:11<\/a>.\u00a0 My husband’s family has a similar situation with his older brother.\u00a0 His brother claims to still be a believer but left the fellowship at the church my father-in-law planted due to doctrinal differences.\u00a0 His brother is not worshiping anywhere and from outward appearances, is indulging in drinking parties, getting tattoo’s, etc.\u00a0 His Facebook page made it clear that he is doing those things although he claims to be living a quiet life, working with his hands as the Lord wants him to, etc.<\/p>\nSome family members refuse to associate with him at all and state I Corinthians 5:9-13 as their reason.\u00a0 They have made it clear that they won’t even come to holiday events if that brother is there.\u00a0 I am going to a nephew’s graduation party this week, and his mother is the only sibling that associates with that brother now, and I know he will be there.\u00a0 My husband is undecided on where he stands but is leaning toward total disassociation as well.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, their parents still associate with him and intend to still invite him to family and holiday events.\u00a0 My in-laws are some of the most stable Christians I know, and I choose to follow their example, but it has caused problems between some of us.\u00a0 My heart is broken, but I still plan on attending the graduation party because it is about my nephew and his accomplishment, not family differences.\u00a0 I don’t plan on socializing or inviting that brother over anytime soon. I just don’t want to avoid family events where he will be there as the other sibling are.\u00a0 Are my husband’s siblings wrong?\u00a0 Is there a scriptural reason for me to say those verses don’t apply in my brother-in-law’s case as well?\u00a0 Remember, he has stopped worshiping at the church with his family all on his own. But he still claims to be a believer.<\/p>\n
I look forward to your answer and am grateful I found you online.<\/p>\n\t
Answer:<\/h2>\n
When a person is withdrawn from, and your family is correct that your brother-in-law is not behaving as a Christian ought to behave and must be withdrawn from, a person might have multiple ties and obligations. A person might be withdrawn from, but he might be someone you work with. You can’t cut your work obligations, but you can cut your social obligations.<\/p>\n
Your sister-in-law and your in-laws really should not be inviting your brother to family gatherings. There is no obligation for him to be there. I understand the motivation. There are people who think withdrawal is too cruel or that they can do some “good” by keeping the door open. Sadly, all they accomplish is a prolonging of a person’s deception that they are perfectly fine continuing as they have been. However, you can’t control what your in-laws do. You can talk to them about it and encourage them to be a better example, but they will make up their own minds.<\/p>\n
Now, when I find myself in similar situations, what I do is look at why I’m there. For example, one time a sister wanted to have everyone over for a potluck, but her nephew, who lived with her, was withdrawn from. We went for the sister’s sake, but everyone ignored the nephew (who ended up staying downstairs) except to ask when was he going to come back to Christ. I think he stayed downstairs just to avoid the questions. If he tried to sit down to eat with some of us, we had planned to get up and move to another table, but we didn’t have to do that. If you and your husband decide to go, you can use the same tactic.<\/p>\n
Your in-laws won’t like it, but what will eventually happen is that they won’t invite you and your brother-in-law at the same time simply because they don’t want the tension.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I was just reading your answer to a young man about\u00a0his brother in regard to I Corinthians 5:11.\u00a0 My husband’s family has a similar situation with his older brother.\u00a0 His brother claims to still be a believer but left the fellowship at the church my father-in-law planted due to doctrinal differences.\u00a0 His brother is…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[254],"class_list":["post-27471","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-withdrawal"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25687,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-go-to-my-brothers-birthday-party-he-fell-away-from-christ-years-ago\/","url_meta":{"origin":27471,"position":0},"title":"Do I go to my brother’s birthday party? He fell away from Christ years ago","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 21, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My fiancee and I were having a discussion that got kind of heated. I let it go too far, and I realized I had issues in certain areas of my life with my oldest brother, who has turned away from God for the past 15 or so years. It\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24625,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-keep-my-family-from-dividing-over-my-choice-of-a-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":27471,"position":1},"title":"How do I keep my family from dividing over my choice of a girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 12, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good evening sir, I need advice. I'm dating my brother's ex-girlfriend. They dated for almost five years. It ended when my brother got another girl pregnant and he eventually ended up marrying the other girl. Five years after the breakup, I developed feelings for her, and when I told\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21380,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-help-my-rebellious-15-year-old-brother\/","url_meta":{"origin":27471,"position":2},"title":"How can I help my rebellious 15-year-old brother?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 24, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I'm a 20-year-old girl with a 15-year-old younger brother who is going down the wrong path. He drinks, smokes, curses, hangs out with his friends most of the time and doesn't take his schoolwork seriously. He's repeating 9th grade because he failed two classes last year, but he's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24049,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-we-forgive-even-though-the-elders-refuse-to-change\/","url_meta":{"origin":27471,"position":3},"title":"Do we forgive even though the elders refuse to change?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 24, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: \"Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, \u2018I repent,\u2019 you shall forgive him\" (Luke 17:3-4). After reading\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":53644,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-a-christian-who-teaches-error-still-a-brother-in-christ\/","url_meta":{"origin":27471,"position":4},"title":"Is a Christian who teaches error still a brother in Christ?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A big fire started after our morning services this morning! One of our members here adamantly disagreed with me when I mentioned that when a brother sins by teaching doctrinal error, he must repent, and if he refuses to repent he is \"a brother in error.\" Until he does\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17097,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-help-my-family-now-that-the-insurance-funds-are-running-low\/","url_meta":{"origin":27471,"position":5},"title":"How can I help my family now that the insurance funds are running low?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 27, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a lot of family problems at the moment and am wondering if you can please guide me in the right direction? My family consists of my mom and my brother and I. I am the only Christian in my family. 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