{"id":27369,"date":"2011-04-28T17:20:00","date_gmt":"2011-04-28T22:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=27369"},"modified":"2020-11-12T17:23:51","modified_gmt":"2020-11-12T23:23:51","slug":"am-i-doing-right-in-reconciling-with-my-former-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-doing-right-in-reconciling-with-my-former-husband\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I doing right in reconciling with my former husband?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Hi,<\/p>\n<p>Thank you in advance for reading and answering this question.<\/p>\n<p>I have a problem. I got married about 15 years ago to a man I&#8217;d been in love with since I was 17 years old. During the marriage, we had several problems, some physical and emotional abuse, and also I committed adultery with a man I had met at work and that affair went on for a while. My husband also during our marriage, without plainly committing adultery, looked at pornographic images all the time and looked on singles websites.<\/p>\n<p>Needless to say after a few years ago I divorced him because I was no longer in love with him. I was tired of being with him. I prayed about it. I knew the divorce was wrong, but since I had already pretty much broken our vows in the eyes of God, I figured our marriage was broken anyway, and I had a lot of guilt for having done that.<\/p>\n<p>Since then a couple of years have gone by and we both have re-committed our lives to God and are reconciling. We have children together as well from when we were married. We treat each other\u00a0<em>much<\/em> better now and with a lot more respect. I am falling back in love with him, and he with me. We have both said we are going to remarry each other someday. Neither of us remarried or even dated, or anything else, after the divorce. And we have both repented of our sins several times. My question is: Are we forgiven by God? And mostly, am I forgiven of my adultery? Is it okay that we are together and talking about remarrying? I <em>completely<\/em>\u00a0know how wrong I was in doing what I did.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you and God bless.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<em>Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife<\/em>&#8221; (I Corinthians 7:10-11).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>As you understand, your adultery was wrong, his lust for other women was wrong, and your divorce was wrong. It sounds as if you straightened out your lives and with that, your lives are coming back together now that your sins are no longer driving you apart. You are doing what you are supposed to be doing. God wants you and your husband back together.<\/p>\n<p>When you turn back to God, He forgives: &#8220;<em>If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness<\/em>&#8221; (I John 1:9). Notice the promise: God is faithful and just to forgive us from our sins. God <em>always<\/em>\u00a0keeps His promises.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know your backgrounds, but I&#8217;m assuming that you both were truly Christians at one time and not just people claiming to be following Christ. See &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-saves-a-person\/\">What Saves a Person?<\/a>&#8221; for more details. Given that, then when you confessed your sins to God and repented (changed), then you were forgiven.<\/p>\n<p>I wish you well in putting your marriage back together.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Response:<\/h2>\n<p>Thank you, sir, so much for your words! I appreciate your answer, and I absolutely understand now. Thanks a lot!<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Hi, Thank you in advance for reading and answering this question. I have a problem. I got married about 15 years ago to a man I&#8217;d been in love with since I was 17 years old. During the marriage, we had several problems, some physical and emotional abuse, and also I committed adultery with&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[167,1571,64],"class_list":["post-27369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce","tag-forgiveness","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43635,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-cheated-on-my-marriage-can-i-be-forgiven-can-i-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":27369,"position":0},"title":"I cheated on my marriage. Can I be forgiven? Can I remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Blessings! I have three questions: Will God forgive me because I committed adultery twice in my marriage with the same man and I was already a Christian? Can I remarry the man with the one I cheated on my now ex-husband with? We still see each other and talk,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17100,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-renew-my-vows-with-my-current-husband-since-my-former-husband-has-died\/","url_meta":{"origin":27369,"position":1},"title":"Do I need to renew my vows with my current husband since my former husband has died?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have spoken to several sound brethren who are elders and ministers in churches of Christ in regard to marriage, divorce, and remarriage. This is the situation that I addressed to them concerning myself: I was in a previous marriage with a man for twelve years. The man I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25600,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-we-still-committing-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":27369,"position":2},"title":"Are we still committing adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married for over ten years and left my spouse to be with my current spouse. My current spouse was married and left his spouse to be with me. That was over fifteen years ago. We have no children. I was a Christian in a verbally abusive marriage\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19069,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-cheated-and-i-cheated-i-lived-with-a-man-for-years-before-the-divorce-was-final-we-eventually-married-but-did-i-have-the-right-to-marry-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":27369,"position":3},"title":"My husband cheated and I cheated. I lived with a man for years before the divorce was final. We eventually married, but did I have the right to marry again?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 6, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: As I read through some of your posts on adultery, one comes strongly out to me. I will explain my situation: I married a man. I didn't talk to God or parents before it and we were kids, even as adults we were kids. Then we had a kid.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31571,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-husband-divorce-his-wife-ten-years-after-forgiving-her-of-an-affair\/","url_meta":{"origin":27369,"position":4},"title":"Can a husband divorce his wife ten years after forgiving her of an affair?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to help my sister in Christ. Situation:\u00a0 A woman cheats on her husband.\u00a0 Husband says he forgives her and stays with her for 10 years after the adultery.\u00a0 Over the 10 years, the husband never really gets over the infidelity. He eventually files for divorce and divorces\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":30942,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/it-is-complex-but-is-my-third-marriage-adulterous\/","url_meta":{"origin":27369,"position":5},"title":"It is complex, but is my third marriage adulterous?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 13, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question for you. It involves a complex matter, but I trust your biblical response after having read your web page. I am married currently and was also married twice before this marriage. I have since repented and grieved over all of my wickedness when I saw\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27369"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27369\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}