{"id":27212,"date":"2011-04-12T18:18:00","date_gmt":"2011-04-12T23:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=27212"},"modified":"2020-11-10T19:11:22","modified_gmt":"2020-11-11T01:11:22","slug":"ive-messed-up-my-relationships-what-do-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-messed-up-my-relationships-what-do-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;ve messed up my relationships. What do I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I have lost confidence in myself. I thought because I re-gave my life to Christ that I would not fall the next day. But I did a few weeks after trying to give my ex a second chance. I cheated.<\/p>\n<p>Before I met my ex I was pretty clear with males and not interested to physically be with men. Well, I did but not out of wedlock. So in trying to go back out with my ex, I asked him. He said yes, that he wants me back. But I recently told him that I made out and kissed some other guy. He doesn&#8217;t know this guy, but he is trying to pursue me and make me his girlfriend, He even brought up marriage and children. and even after it went that far he still took up my idea of taking it really slow. The problem is the guy I cheated with is Catholic, and he has a tattoo &#8212; something my parents disapprove of. He fits me but not completely to my Christian morals. But then neither does my ex. He claims he is a Pentecostal Christian, but he said he doesn&#8217;t attend church anymore, and before and still he wants to pursue a sexual relationship (which I understand, he was my first).<\/p>\n<p>But ultimately I feel like neither is the one. I am just a messed up as they are. I have my own sins. What should I do?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>I&#8217;m going to apologize upfront if I misunderstood some things. I had a hard time following all the tangled relationships. Here is what I came away with:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You&#8217;ve been married several times.<\/li>\n<li>You thought you would be better off marrying your first husband, and he has indicated that he would be interested in having you back as a bed partner, but not necessarily as his wife.<\/li>\n<li>Meanwhile, you dated another man and got sexual with him. He too is interested in marrying you and in the meantime wants you in his bed.<\/li>\n<li>On top of all this, you want to be a Christian, but now doubt your abilities to live right because of the sins you&#8217;ve recently committed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I have lost confidence in myself. I thought because I re-gave my life to Christ that I would not fall the next day. But I did a few weeks after trying to give my ex a second chance. I cheated. Before I met my ex I was pretty clear with males and not interested&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,99,149,1572],"class_list":["post-27212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-becoming-a-christian","tag-dating","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32913,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-marry-a-guy-but-he-is-being-forced-to-marry-the-girl-he-got-pregnant\/","url_meta":{"origin":27212,"position":0},"title":"I want to marry a guy, but he is being forced to marry the girl he got pregnant","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 4, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi! I found your site and am hoping to get advice on relationships. I have been dating a guy for a year. Late last fall, he cut off all communication with me. Recently.\u00a0 when I asked him why he ghosted me, after a lot of persuasions, he finally told\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21716,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-make-the-right-choice-in-returning-to-my-old-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":27212,"position":1},"title":"Did I make the right choice in returning to my old boyfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 20, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day! I have a long time boyfriend. I\u2019m a Christian, and he is not. That he is not a Christian is a big deal for me. Even though he has been my boyfriend for almost five years, I keep praying to God to give me a godly man.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17830,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-do-i-feel-guilty-about-dating-after-my-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":27212,"position":2},"title":"Why do I feel guilty about dating after my divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My ex-husband and I cheated on each other during the time we were married. Looking back I can see that we were lukewarm Christian. I cheated on him at the last because he came home and told me he loved this other girl and everything and he cheated on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38443,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-move-on-after-my-boyfriend-left\/","url_meta":{"origin":27212,"position":3},"title":"I want to move on after my boyfriend left","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: It's been three years since we started dating. It all began because we had sex. We are trying to do the right thing by dating and getting married one day so that we would remain each others' first. We couldn't stop the sexual sin. Now we have broken up.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43635,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-cheated-on-my-marriage-can-i-be-forgiven-can-i-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":27212,"position":4},"title":"I cheated on my marriage. Can I be forgiven? Can I remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Blessings! I have three questions: Will God forgive me because I committed adultery twice in my marriage with the same man and I was already a Christian? Can I remarry the man with the one I cheated on my now ex-husband with? We still see each other and talk,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46667,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-ex-boyfriend-married-someone-else-but-wants-to-come-back-to-me-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":27212,"position":5},"title":"My ex-boyfriend married someone else but wants to come back to me. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 10, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have never been married, but I do have children. (I know -- not good.) My child's father and I broke up and a few weeks later he married the girl with whom he had cheated on me.\u00a0 After nearly a year of no communication, he reached out to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27212","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27212"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27212\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27212"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27212"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27212"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}