Hello.<\/p>\n
I have currently been married for not quite a year and I need some advice.<\/p>\n
My husband and I met when we were in our late teens; as you can see, we were fairly young. After two months he left me to join the army. We were not yet married at this time. I ended up cheating on him with another man, something I could never bring myself to do today. It went on for nearly a year. I confessed once and after that continued to cheat (stupid enough) because I was young, dumb, and very naive when it came to relationships. I jumped in headfirst and didn’t know anything about being with someone. I was hurt when he left and I went to seek someone to fix my pain, something you should never do. The second time around after I cheated, I almost got caught and completely stopped. I did love the guy, but I stopped everything. I got on my knees and prayed so hard with everything in my body for God to guide me, forgive, and heal me. I begged for forgiveness of my sin and for Jesus to come into my heart and he did.<\/p>\n
After that I did everything I needed to, to never speak to this man again, and I mean everything. I can’t believe how foolish I was. A month later I opened a new chapter in my life, marriage. I married him and have been faithful ever since. My husband got discharged from the army, but before he came home he was stationed a long way from home. It was hard. We got into arguments a lot, we were very violently verbal with each other almost every day and again I had an empty feeling because he was gone.<\/p>\n
He eventually came home and two weeks after him being home we got into a horrible physical fight. He moved out of my house and a month later we decided to work it out. Sadly again, we got into another violent physical altercation that led to him once again leaving me alone, to suffer by myself. Ever since then things have been rocky. We’ve broken up several times over the phone just to get back together, arguing constantly. We’ve talked about marriage counseling but never went. Lately, I’ve been feeling detached. He’s my husband but I rarely get to see him. He barely makes time for me and I’m left feeling like I felt before he came back home.<\/p>\n
This morning he told me it wasn’t working out. He’s been saying this for a week. I was fighting so hard for him to change his mind because I feel like me giving up would be a disappointment to God. Well. I finally gave in and said we’re better off being friends. Of course, he started to regret telling me it was over.<\/p>\n
I recently got in contact with my previous lover. He’s made me smile for the first time in a long time, but I will dare not cross the line and cheat while I’m married.<\/p>\n
We’re so young. What do you think it’s best for me to do?<\/p>\n\t
Absolutely number one on the list is to drop all contact with your former sex partner. You had a choice before you got married to pick one of two men. You picked one and now you must live up to your commitment. All you are doing with this other man is tempting yourself to commit adultery. It will never lead to anything good.<\/p>\n
Second, you need to learn how to be a wife. Your husband needs to learn his role as well, but at the moment I only have your ear. At the moment you are making all sorts of excuses for yourself:<\/p>\n
See a good counselor, someone who is going to uphold true Christian beliefs and help you work through the issues you have in being married. It doesn’t matter if your husband goes with you or not. You have to start somewhere.<\/p>\n
My point is that there is no reason that this marriage has to end. You both don’t know what you are doing and probably don’t have good role models. It is past time to admit you need help and go find it.<\/p>\n\t
I really thank you because I needed some heartfelt advice. If my husband and I did divorce, I probably would be too depressed to even begin another relationship with anyone. I guess it just came to the point that I began to not care. I do believe we had no business getting married that young, living in the generation we live and I’ll have to stick with that idea.<\/p>\n
I want to continue my marriage, but I’ll have to become a better person first. I need to finish school and maybe seek some individual counseling to help me with my anger. I don’t want marriage to seem like a written contract because nowadays the way people get married and divorced that’s all it’s become.<\/p>\n
I sincerely thank you, and hopefully, I won’t have to come back to you with any more devastating stories. Please pray for me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hello. I have currently been married for not quite a year and I need some advice. My husband and I met when we were in our late teens; as you can see, we were fairly young. After two months he left me to join the army. We were not yet married at this time.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,1503,167,64,200],"class_list":["post-26912","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-anger","tag-divorce","tag-marriage","tag-violence"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17100,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-renew-my-vows-with-my-current-husband-since-my-former-husband-has-died\/","url_meta":{"origin":26912,"position":0},"title":"Do I need to renew my vows with my current husband since my former husband has died?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have spoken to several sound brethren who are elders and ministers in churches of Christ in regard to marriage, divorce, and remarriage. This is the situation that I addressed to them concerning myself: I was in a previous marriage with a man for twelve years. The man I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37352,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-left-my-husband-after-only-six-months-i-realize-i-was-wrong-but-he-wont-consider-my-returning\/","url_meta":{"origin":26912,"position":1},"title":"I left my husband after only six months. I realize I was wrong, but he won’t consider my returning.","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Of late, I have started following Jesus Christ, although I am not a Christian, and reading Bible has helped me overcome a lot of stress and depression. I need your help on my life's greatest issue. I fell in love with a guy when I was 17. 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She said he also later confessed to her about sleeping around and that's when\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38963,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-returned-to-his-first-wife-and-now-im-confused\/","url_meta":{"origin":26912,"position":5},"title":"My husband returned to his first wife and now I’m confused","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, I have been separated for over a year from my best friend of over 10 years and my husband for less than a year, though legally we were married for over a year. 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