{"id":26570,"date":"2020-10-25T16:37:24","date_gmt":"2020-10-25T21:37:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=26570"},"modified":"2020-10-25T16:37:24","modified_gmt":"2020-10-25T21:37:24","slug":"do-you-think-the-circumstances-changed-and-i-might-marry-the-man-i-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-you-think-the-circumstances-changed-and-i-might-marry-the-man-i-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Do you think the circumstances changed and I might marry the man I love?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>It has been over a year and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-all-marriages-spiritually-binding\/\">I did take your advice in not continuing to be with this man<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>We recently reconnected some months ago, since the military has brought him to the city I live in and I&#8217;ve just been thinking a lot about what happened. I told him last year that I couldn&#8217;t be sure that he was forgiven for what he did because I don&#8217;t know if he only repented because of me or if it&#8217;s truly what he wanted to do. I also told him, it&#8217;s just such a confusing situation that if I were to continue to be with him I would always wonder if he was justified in leaving his first marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s my problem, I&#8217;ve been extremely unhappy since we split over a year, and now that he&#8217;s back in town, I don&#8217;t know that I want to continue to be unhappy without him. I live a blessed life, but it always seems better or more blessed when he&#8217;s in it.<\/p>\n<p>He told me that after we split, he spoke with his wife and explained to her that he wanted to try to make their marriage work because he didn&#8217;t want to be condemned for divorcing her. She agreed, and then cheated on him again. I am a little more confident in knowing he tried and failed, but since he entered the marriage with ill intent, I find it hard to be truly comforted in my choice to potentially be with him again one day.<\/p>\n<p>I would also like to add, that at no point during their marriage were they physically together. He was stationed in another country and she was living in this country with her children (not his). Even after we broke up, they never met. All conversations took place over the phone and they did end up divorcing earlier this year before he ever left Japan. He proposed that they try their marriage again and they ended their marriage after she continued other relationships and he did not, all over the phone. I&#8217;m not sure this matters, but I just wanted you to have some context.<\/p>\n<p>Do you have any advice for me? Maybe scriptures that can help me to feel more confident about what and how I&#8217;m to deal with this. Please let me know if you have any further questions that may help you to help me.<\/p>\n<p>Best.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>Please remember that I&#8217;ve only talked to you. I only know what you&#8217;ve told me about this situation. Your personal feelings can be distracting. You have to look at situations like this from the perspective of God&#8217;s Law and not your feelings.<\/p>\n<p>It does sound like that he tried to straighten out his past sins, which indicates repentance on his part. Unfortunately, his former wife continued her sins. He had a right to divorce her and it does allow him to marry again (Matthew 19:9). People do change and it sounds like he has changed for the better.<\/p>\n<p>While I would suggest continuing to be cautious, I don&#8217;t see a reason why you two can&#8217;t pursue the idea of getting married in the future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: It has been over a year and I did take your advice in not continuing to be with this man. We recently reconnected some months ago, since the military has brought him to the city I live in and I&#8217;ve just been thinking a lot about what happened. I told him last year that&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167,64],"class_list":["post-26570","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":39991,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-my-husband-committed-adultery-in-the-past-can-i-remarry-even-though-ive-been-sleeping-with-a-man-before-i-divorced-my-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":26570,"position":0},"title":"Since my husband committed adultery in the past, can I remarry even though I&#8217;ve been sleeping with a man before I divorced my husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married at 20 years old. Two months after our marriage my husband admitted to making out with another woman and asked for a divorce. I dismissed his request as being childish and continued with the marriage. After a year of marriage, he admitted to making out with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3066,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-all-marriages-spiritually-binding\/","url_meta":{"origin":26570,"position":1},"title":"Are all marriages spiritually binding?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I attend a church of Christ, and my boyfriend of several years was baptized about a few years ago. We broke up last year for several months due to some differences but have since decided to be back together. My boyfriend is in the military and during the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18749,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-ex-husband-committed-adultery-but-i-didnt-try-to-stop-it-do-i-need-to-leave-my-current-husband-in-hopes-of-remarrying-my-ex-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":26570,"position":2},"title":"My ex-husband committed adultery, but I didn&#8217;t try to stop it. Do I need to leave my current husband in hopes of remarrying my ex-husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 26, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married to my husband for over thirty years. We had both become unhappy, but I didn't know that he planned to leave me the day after Christmas five years ago. I had not been thinking of leaving, I just wanted some problems resolved. He left for a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32417,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-was-deported-and-ive-been-committing-adultery-with-another-man-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":26570,"position":3},"title":"My husband was deported and I&#8217;ve been committing adultery with another man. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 4, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was born in a Christian household. I am ashamed of my sin for that very same reason. My mother had me with a man I don't even know. I found this out when I was 20 years old. I always believed the man that raised me was my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":70369,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-help-my-brother-save-his-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":26570,"position":4},"title":"How can I help my brother save his marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 18, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, My brother and his wife are having problems in their marriage. I don't know what else to do or tell them, and talking to my brother can sometimes feel like talking to a child. My brother is nearly 30, and his wife is about the same age. 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My wife and I had been together for over five years before I asked her to marry me.\u00a0 Before we were married she was in a short relationship with her boss\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26570","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26570"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26570\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}