{"id":26255,"date":"2020-09-30T14:26:03","date_gmt":"2020-09-30T19:26:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=26255"},"modified":"2020-09-30T14:26:03","modified_gmt":"2020-09-30T19:26:03","slug":"am-i-not-allowed-to-get-married-because-i-committed-fornication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-not-allowed-to-get-married-because-i-committed-fornication\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I not allowed to get married because I committed fornication?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Sorry about this being a tough one. As a believer, I am in a really tough spot. I firmly believe the Bible teaches that sex is a biblical marriage. Although this is not what the church or mainstream media teaches. In Scripture, any time virgins had sex it was understood to be marriage. \u201cHe went in to her\u201d is commonly used. Jacob and Leah, Isaac and Rebekah, Deuteronomy 21:10-14 and 25:5. It took me a while to deal with this information. This is what I firmly believe the Bible teaches. [Link to another site was removed.]<\/p>\n

Now here is the spot that I am in. I was raised in the church and went \u201coff the rails\u201d you could say in college. I had relations with two boys, neither of which I had intercourse with, and although I knew I was sinning, I believed that intercourse was sex, if it wasn\u2019t \u201cactual\u201d sex it\u2019s not really that bad, and sex wasn\u2019t the covenant sign of marriage, and that stuff. Now my beliefs have changed and I see the truth that I believe I crossed a line into what is sex, even though there wasn\u2019t intercourse, and all of a sudden it clicked and I put two and two together that sex was marriage and later marriages were adulterous and sought out information on the matter.<\/p>\n

The story is that the first boy I left, and the second left me. I got into my faith and was baptized during the second relationship, with the intent for that activity to cease because I knew it was sin, and it hurt me and I couldn\u2019t deal with it happening anymore, and it continued for a bit before the relationship ultimately ended. He told me I push my faith on him.<\/p>\n

I believe God forgives ignorance, and these things I did ignorant of the reality of what I was actually doing, and consequences, but not ignorant that it was a sin because although I wasn\u2019t baptized, I was raised in the church.<\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m at the age where I want to get married, there is a godly man in my life basically waiting for me to figure this out.<\/p>\n

I wonder if God revealed this truth to me after the sexual activities ceased because He knew that I would have had intercourse had He not shown me this at the time He did, or if He showed me this because I can never get married or I will be in sin until I die because of my prior relationships and sins. Please help provide some insight.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

Your difficulties start with your belief that sex creates a marriage. Even the article that you sent me (not shown) claims that sex only\u00a0seals<\/em> the marriage covenant. He did not claim that sex created the covenant. His argument, however, is false. See\u00a0Does a marriage begin when it is consummated?<\/a><\/p>\n

You stated that you didn’t have sexual intercourse with both boys but were involved in fornication. Since you are being vague about your terms, I have no idea if you are redefining fornication or not. Interestingly, you acknowledge that you\u00a0sinned<\/em> with both boys. But if you truly believe that sexual acts create a marriage, then your relationship with the first boy could not have been sinful. Supposedly your first act of sex with him caused you to be married to him. But, of course, that is false. “If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days<\/em>” (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). Why does the woman become the man’s wife after<\/em> they were caught having sex? In your view, they should have already been married. Exodus 22:16-17 states that her father had the right to prevent the marriage. You can’t prevent what has already taken place.<\/p>\n

The simple answer is that you sinned in your past. I gathered that you have finally decided to be baptized and become a Christian. Your past sins were forgiven. You have a man who is interested in marrying you and you are interested in being his wife. You have never been married, so you can marry him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: Sorry about this being a tough one. As a believer, I am in a really tough spot. I firmly believe the Bible teaches that sex is a biblical marriage. Although this is not what the church or mainstream media teaches. In Scripture, any time virgins had sex it was understood to be marriage. \u201cHe…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[489,1572,64],"class_list":["post-26255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-covenants","tag-fornication","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":45575,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-fornication-will-our-marriage-be-pure\/","url_meta":{"origin":26255,"position":0},"title":"I committed fornication. Will our marriage be pure?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 22, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please help me. I have committed fornication with my boyfriend. We want to get married. Will our marriage still be pure? The boyfriend I committed fornication with is a married man. We both love God and don't want to depart from His ways, yet we have sinned. Currently, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44779,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-still-have-a-church-wedding-if-we-committed-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":26255,"position":1},"title":"Can I still have a church wedding if we committed fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 25, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I grew up attending Bible studies and was even a Sunday school teacher at one point, a choir member, and a member of the ladies association. But most of all I believed I had a good relationship with God. Then, I met someone at church and we started dating.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27773,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-my-marriage-valid\/","url_meta":{"origin":26255,"position":2},"title":"Is my marriage valid?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: First off, I appreciate you spreading the word on what people need to hear, not what they want to hear.\u00a0 I thank you for that, not many people in the pulpit do that anymore and cower to men.\u00a0 You recently wrote to my mother about her remarriage scenario, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37430,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-two-people-agree-to-be-exclusive-and-committed-before-having-sex-are-they-bound-together-for-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":26255,"position":3},"title":"If two people agree to be exclusive and committed before having sex, are they bound together for life?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 25, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is my ex married to the girl he is dating? I still love him and share a child with him. He admitted to having sexual relations with a girl. She said, before having sex with him, that she didn't want to have sex unless they were exclusive and committed.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4440,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-my-marriage-have-to-end-because-i-committed-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":26255,"position":4},"title":"Does my marriage have to end because I committed adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 21, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Jeffrey, I committed adultery with a married woman while I was married to my wife.\u00a0 I told my wife, and she forgave me.\u00a0 Is our marriage still right with God, or do I have to terminate our marriage? Answer: \"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40955,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-and-i-committed-fornication-can-we-still-have-a-church-wedding\/","url_meta":{"origin":26255,"position":5},"title":"My girlfriend and I committed fornication. Can we still have a church wedding?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I'm a nearly 30-year-old man. I want to pose a question which I feel embarrassed for doing an ungodly thing in my life. 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