I’m lost and my life is so out of place. I’m married, and we have eight kids: my husband had two by his first wife, and I had one by my first marriage. We have one together. My dad past away with cancer. He had four kids who live with us. About four years ago my marriage started falling apart. I feel he has cheated. He started to change. He always runs me down. He’s always angry. He has hit me. When his mother past away, he left me behind. He runs me down to his family. It hurt me so bad. Don’t get me wrong, I have my part. I have not ever cheated or denied him, as he has me. Recently I found out I have Multiple Sclerosis, so I’m sick.<\/p>\n
Please help me. I don’t want to end my marriage.<\/p>\n\t
I’m going to assume that both of you had the right to a second marriage. Given today’s climate, there isn’t a reason to make that assumption, but I have to start somewhere. So I’m assuming your previous spouses either died or had committed fornication that led to your divorces.<\/p>\n
It appears that you and your husband have been piling up stresses without resolving old ones. The pressure is getting released in unhealthy ways. He is getting violent and doesn’t respect you. You’ve gotten suspicious and probably have so many complaints that your husband dreads to come home. Your disease adds to the stress, and your stress makes it more difficult to deal with the disease.<\/p>\n
When things get overwhelming, pick just one thing at a time to work on. I don’t know what is your biggest issue at the moment but pick either that or an issue that you can solve in a relatively short timeframe. Then work on it. Your marriage is falling apart because insufficient effort is being put into keeping it going. Like a house, marriages don’t maintain themselves.<\/p>\n
As your husband sees you working at solving problems and not just complaining, he will be encouraged to join you in working on the marriage. Yes, I know he has his faults, but it is you who wants to hold this marriage together, so you are the one how needs to make the initial moves in that direction.<\/p>\n
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband<\/em>” (Ephesians 5:33).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I’m lost and my life is so out of place. I’m married, and we have eight kids: my husband had two by his first wife, and I had one by my first marriage. We have one together. My dad past away with cancer. He had four kids who live with us. About four years…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1105,64,1142],"class_list":["post-25897","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-abuse","tag-marriage","tag-stress"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40879,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-has-cheated-on-me-with-ten-women-that-i-know-of-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":25897,"position":0},"title":"My husband has cheated on me with ten women that I know of. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been in a relationship with my husband since I was a teenager.\u00a0 We have been together for over seven years and married for more than five years.\u00a0 We have several children together.\u00a0 After I was a month pregnant with my last child, I found out that there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37014,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-just-cant-understand-why-my-husband-had-an-affair-and-a-child-as-a-result\/","url_meta":{"origin":25897,"position":1},"title":"I just can’t understand why my husband had an affair and a child as a result","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband confessed to me a couple of months ago that he had a one-night stand while overseas. Even then I knew that couldn't have been all to the story. With the help of members from our congregation, last week he was able to confess it all to me.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34153,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-let-go-of-my-failing-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":25897,"position":2},"title":"Do I let go of my failing marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 15, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm sorry this is a bit long. My husband has cheated on me several times in our marriage. Each time, he would convince me he would change, and he would for a few years, but then it would happen again and again. I would take him back and just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19069,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-cheated-and-i-cheated-i-lived-with-a-man-for-years-before-the-divorce-was-final-we-eventually-married-but-did-i-have-the-right-to-marry-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":25897,"position":3},"title":"My husband cheated and I cheated. I lived with a man for years before the divorce was final. We eventually married, but did I have the right to marry again?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 6, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: As I read through some of your posts on adultery, one comes strongly out to me. I will explain my situation: I married a man. I didn't talk to God or parents before it and we were kids, even as adults we were kids. Then we had a kid.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40642,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-past-sexual-sins-be-discussed-before-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":25897,"position":4},"title":"Should past sexual sins be discussed before marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 13, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I'm a 30-year-old female Christian. My boyfriend is a few years older and a Christian as well. We have been together for several months. He is a wonderful man. However, he has a sexual past that he refuses to discuss. He says that it has no benefit and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-married-a-man-who-was-divorced-because-of-his-adultery-is-our-marriage-ok\/","url_meta":{"origin":25897,"position":5},"title":"I married a man who was divorced because of his adultery. Is our marriage ok?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you do if you are a Christian, have a second marriage, and realize only too late that it was not the will of God?\u00a0 My spouse was a called man of God, but he committed adultery in his first marriage.\u00a0He is no longer preaching, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25897","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25897"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25897\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25897"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25897"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25897"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}