Is it wrong to fantasize about my wife? \u00a0My wife and has refused to have sex with me for over five years now. She considers me a best friend and the father of our children but not much else. \u00a0She is not a Christian, so she has no concern for what the scriptures teach about due benevolence.\u00a0\u00a0I’ve tried many things to revive this part of our relationship but to no avail. \u00a0I don’t want to burn with lust. \u00a0So, I have pictured times from the past with my wife (fantasizing) to get past these strong sexual urges. Am I sinning?<\/p>\n\t
No, because your wife should be the one you desire. It would not be that much different than a man whose wife became ill and was not able to have sex. I’m sorry about your situation. I’ve run across similar cases several times and have yet to figure out how to encourage the disinterested party to change.<\/p>\n\t
Thanks, Jeff, this helps. There are some brethren who have tried to convince me this practice is wrong. I have not read anything in God’s word that convicts me that it is sinful. It is also helpful to hear that I am not the only one faced with this dilemma.<\/p>\n
Your web site encourages me. Thank you again.<\/p>\n\t
There is a widespread belief that anything pleasurable must have something wrong with it. Commonly a chocolate cake is called “sinfully rich,” though, in reality, we know that eating cake isn’t a sin. Extending that base belief, many people assume masturbation is wrong simply because it brings momentary intense pleasure. The assumption is that there must be something wrong about it.<\/p>\n
I have tried to address the issue of whether masturbation is sinful in “Is masturbation unacceptable?<\/a>” and “Is masturbation sinful or not?<\/a>” Just to be clear, the thoughts and actions which sometimes accompany masturbation can be sinful. It also would be wrong for a husband or wife to use masturbation in place of having sex with their spouse. In your case, neither applies because you aren’t using pornography or thoughts of other women, and you are only resorting to it because sex has been made unavailable to you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Is it wrong to fantasize about my wife? \u00a0My wife and has refused to have sex with me for over five years now. She considers me a best friend and the father of our children but not much else. \u00a0She is not a Christian, so she has no concern for what the scriptures teach…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[64,171,63],"class_list":["post-24635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-marriage","tag-masturbation","tag-sex"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":31781,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-to-fantasize-about-sex-with-your-future-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":24635,"position":0},"title":"Is it wrong to fantasize about sex with your future wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My fiance and I have been together for several years. We have decided mutually that we would not have sex or any sexual contact until we are married. We are both very happy with this decision and plan on getting married shortly after I graduate college. We both know\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40389,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-told-my-wife-i-had-inappropriate-conversations-with-a-woman-but-i-didnt-mention-i-had-sex-with-her-my-wife-thinks-im-lying-must-i-tell-her-everything\/","url_meta":{"origin":24635,"position":1},"title":"I told my wife I had inappropriate conversations with a woman, but I didn’t mention I had sex with her. My wife thinks I’m lying. 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We have, of course, already faced life's challenges, but I genuinely feel that we have overcome them only by the grace of God and the strength that the Lord gives\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Preparation for a Lifetime"","block_context":{"text":"Preparation for a Lifetime","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/preparation\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44218,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-for-a-husband-to-lust-for-his-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":24635,"position":4},"title":"Is it wrong for a husband to lust for his wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Minister, My wife and I have grown distant over the years because she has had many anger issues, substance abuse problems, and trouble with the law. We have several beautiful children and have been married for almost 20 years. 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