I have read many of the answers you have given about spanking and while I disagree or am uncomfortable with using anything other than a hand for it, I have seen the positive effects of spanking being part of several punishment options for parents with my friends and their children. I now have my first child (a 2-year-old son) who is the best gift that I could have ever received. Here is my situation. I was rarely spanked as a child. My parents felt guilty that they did it and to this day they will not discuss it. I have some of the same feelings about spanking, I haven’t even had to use it and won’t until my son is older. I want to use it as a responsible parent should if need be. I do not want to spank, but if necessary I do not want the behavior to sit, so I want to be prepared. So how do I introduce it as a punishment if I have to? And what should I do now to prepare myself?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Thank you in advance for your thoughts.<\/p>\n\t
My guess is that you are already heading down the wrong path. It isn’t just spanking that is an issue, it is seeing the role negative discipline has in the shaping of a child’s character. Any number of supposedly intelligent people are able to train a dog better than they are able to train a child — and a child is far smarter than a dog.<\/p>\n
What I see you doing is avoiding negative consequences as long as you can (and longer than you should). The result of such thinking is that punishment is only given as a result of being pushed over the edge. The results are harsher than intended because of the anger and it leaves the parent feeling guilty for losing control.<\/p>\n
There are going to be times that a good parent is angry while they punish their child, whether it is a scolding, a timeout, a skipped benefit, or a spanking. But the punishment is never given out of anger. It is given because the child has done something wrong, that if not corrected will create a flaw in his character. “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother<\/em>” (Proverbs 29:15). This is why I generally don’t answer questions that are focused on punishment. Good parenting is about focusing on improving a child’s character.<\/p>\n There is a little book called\u00a0To Train Up A Child\u00a0<\/em>by Michael and Debi Pearl that you really should read. It will put things in proper perspective for you.<\/p>\n\t Thank you for your advice.\u00a0 Since my son is only two, it has really been about helping him to calm down, and redirecting him, as my mother says, to do other things because he doesn’t understand much of the danger around him. I see what you mean. My wife and I need to make the big decisions on how we decide to discipline and punish in our home and be on the same page. I will read the book and let you know how it goes.<\/p>\n Thanks again and God bless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I have read many of the answers you have given about spanking and while I disagree or am uncomfortable with using anything other than a hand for it, I have seen the positive effects of spanking being part of several punishment options for parents with my friends and their children. I now have my…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1028],"tags":[665,106,29,107,108],"class_list":["post-24614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","category-parenting","tag-child-rearing","tag-discipline","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children","tag-spanking"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13965,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-bare-bottom-spankings-necessary\/","url_meta":{"origin":24614,"position":0},"title":"Are bare-bottom spankings necessary?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I'm a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I've been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. Mostly because I'm uptight about male\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adolescence"","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10035,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-a-parent-spank-a-teenage-athlete\/","url_meta":{"origin":24614,"position":1},"title":"How can a parent spank a teenage athlete?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 29, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have read some of the responses to Christian parents questions on spanking their children and teenagers. Many of my friends have trouble with their teenagers and often think of using it. The thing is what would a parent do with a teenager who is athletic, a soccer player,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2868,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-spanking-a-thirteen-year-old-child-illegal\/","url_meta":{"origin":24614,"position":2},"title":"Is spanking a thirteen-year-old child illegal?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 22, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is spanking a thirteen-year-old child illegal? Answer: As of this writing, spanking remains legal in all fifty states of the United States. Almost all state statutes state that a parent or guardian can use reasonable and appropriate force to maintain discipline and to promote the well-being of a child's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3684,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-get-over-the-embarrassment-of-spanking-a-teenager\/","url_meta":{"origin":24614,"position":3},"title":"How do you get over the embarrassment of spanking a teenager?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 10, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I'm a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I've been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. Mostly because I'm uptight about male\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3757,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-series-of-questions-about-spanking\/","url_meta":{"origin":24614,"position":4},"title":"A series of questions about spanking","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: At what age does a father stop spanking his boy? I mean do you spank until he's 21 if he's still living with you? Do you spank a 13-year-old boy any differently from a 5-year-old boy? Clothed behind versus bare behind How often does one spank the boy? If\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":55911,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-spanking-cause-lower-iq-in-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":24614,"position":5},"title":"Does Spanking Cause Lower IQ in Children?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 17, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"by Sam Stinson \"He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently\" (Proverbs 13:24). I like to think that most scientific studies are not politically motivated. However, when I read about studies like the following, I'm forced to rethink this belief. A study\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24614"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24614\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Response:<\/h2>\n