I have a question which you may know a little about. In my relationship with my girlfriend, we tend to argue a lot. She will say something and I will explode or vice versa. This has left me without peace and asking if this relationship is God’s will. I wanted to ask my girlfriend to marry me next month, but right now I am not sure. Please help me out. Why do we have these tiffs? Should I go ahead and get engaged to her? Kindly help me out because I need to move forward.<\/p>\n\t
The fact that two people who grew up in different households and under different circumstances don’t always see everything the same ought to be a given. At times those disagreements are going to be strong. It isn’t that disagreements happen, it is how you handle the problems.<\/p>\n
You state that both you and your girlfriend get explosively angry. That is not the way Christians ought to behave. “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God<\/em>” (James 1:19-20). The problem is bigger than just whether you two ought to get married. You both have a problem that needs to be fixed regardless of whether you marry or not.<\/p>\n I want you to read two lessons. In each, there is a long list of verses. I ask that you sit down with your Bible and go through each one and jot down what you learn from the passage. The lessons are “The Wolves Within<\/a>” and “Of Gnats and Other Annoyances<\/a>.”<\/p>\n When you settle your own problem, then you can consider whether your girlfriend is working on her side of the problem as well. If she doesn’t care or doesn’t change, the understanding that if you marry her, you are signing up for a lifetime of arguments — you won’t have a happy marriage. But if you two can work through these issues now and resolve them, then you can work through other problems as they arrive in your marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I have a question which you may know a little about. In my relationship with my girlfriend, we tend to argue a lot. She will say something and I will explode or vice versa. This has left me without peace and asking if this relationship is God’s will. I wanted to ask my girlfriend…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1503,149,662,64],"class_list":["post-24073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-anger","tag-dating","tag-engagement","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":45218,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-have-a-thing-for-one-of-her-teachers\/","url_meta":{"origin":24073,"position":0},"title":"I found out my girlfriend used to have a thing for one of her teachers","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was searching the web earlier today trying to figure out if I should be mad about something or not. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. We've had our ups and downs. A lot of them I would say. She had a thing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25141,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-should-i-tell-my-girlfriend-that-im-not-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":24073,"position":1},"title":"When should I tell my girlfriend that I’m not a virgin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 5, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello. I have been looking over your site and have been blessed by it very much. I was looking for a question but couldn't find it, so I thought I would ask myself. I know that going into details about my sinful past with my current girlfriend isn't necessary,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28324,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-still-marry-my-girlfriend-after-my-dad-slept-with-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":24073,"position":2},"title":"Can I still marry my girlfriend after my dad slept with her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to know if I can get married to my girlfriend. My dad slept with her. Is it possible for both of us to still marry? Answer: The Law of Moses, which does not apply today, stated a son could not behave sexually with his father's wife (Leviticus\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41543,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-urge-is-getting-really-strong-should-i-marry-my-girlfriend-because-of-this\/","url_meta":{"origin":24073,"position":3},"title":"The urge is getting really strong. Should I marry my girlfriend because of this?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hey, I'm a brother in the church, I'm 21 and I'm a virgin. I am struggling far as thoughts, urges, etc. It's getting harder each year to contain. Each year the urge gets stronger. I have a girlfriend, she is in the church. She is a great help to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":60134,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-my-girlfriend-see-the-importance-of-pure-worship\/","url_meta":{"origin":24073,"position":4},"title":"How do I help my girlfriend see the importance of pure worship?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 31, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I grew up in the church of Christ and my girlfriend grew up with a Baptist denominational background. When we started dating, she began coming to church with me. We talked about the differences and she claimed to have been saved at a younger age even though she was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33053,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-get-her-parents-permission-before-marrying-my-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":24073,"position":5},"title":"Do I need to get her parent’s permission before marrying my girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read\u00a0the articles you had concerning \"Fornication\". The woman I am courting is a virgin. I on the other hand am not. I was disciplined by the Lord on behalf of my actions from the flesh when I was indulging in pre-marital sex. 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