Some run from their fears, others mask them with alcohol or drugs, but the solution is to look at what we face and divide them into two categories: those we have control over and those we do not.<\/p>\n
“God, grant me the serenity
\nTo accept the things I cannot change,
\nThe courage to change the things I can,
\nAnd the wisdom to know the difference.”\n[from the Serenity Prayer]<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
When something is in our control, then take action to start the necessary changes. If a boy wants to meet a girl, then he has to take action. He needs to introduce himself and talk to her. He might fear her rejection, but he should understand that her reaction is not in his control. Her acceptance or rejection of him is her choice, not his own. Whatever she chooses doesn’t change him.<\/p>\n
Most things in life are like that: a mixture of things we can do and things we have no control over. On a job, I have control over how well I perform my duties, but I have no control over whether my efforts will be recognized and rewarded. I can be a valuable employee in my company, but I have no control over the economy or how well the company is being managed (unless I’m the boss). I might be let go for reasons that are completely out of my control. “For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God<\/em>” (I Peter 2:19-20). It isn’t worth worrying about things I can’t control because worrying won’t change those things. It isn’t worth worrying about things I can change, I should be putting my time in productively improving things instead of worrying over them.<\/p>\nFor the things we can’t control, we leave them in God’s hands. “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’<\/em>” (Hebrews 13:5-6). Sure, there will be hardships and trying times, but whatever I face I know that God is watching and will see that in the long run, things work out for the best.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Question: How would I go about understanding my insecurities and work on eliminating them or coming to terms with them? I realize that my insecurities negatively affect every relationship that I am currently in and ones that I have lost because of my issues. I don’t want to continue to carry them around with me…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[250,1569,352],"class_list":["post-24032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-confidence","tag-doubts","tag-fear"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":22950,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-and-i-fear-we-will-lose-each-other-even-though-we-arent-fighting-what-are-we-doing-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":24032,"position":0},"title":"My girlfriend and I fear we will lose each other, even though we aren’t fighting. What are we doing wrong?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 11, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I hope you don't consider me a whiner, but I know you are one person who gives me straight answers. My girlfriend and I are engulfed with this fear of losing one another or breaking up. We are not fighting, but the fear is there. Is this normal? What\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4851,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/overcoming-fear\/","url_meta":{"origin":24032,"position":1},"title":"Overcoming Fear","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 30, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Reading:\u00a0II Kings 6:8-23 It seems wherever we turn, there is something to fear. Some people are afraid of snakes or spiders. Others fear what will happen to the stock market. Instead of being debilitated by our fears, we need to learn how to continue to function\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21407,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/fear\/","url_meta":{"origin":24032,"position":2},"title":"Fear","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 12, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: II Kings 6:8-23 \u00a0 I.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The prevalence of fear \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Watch a horror movie \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a01.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The scenes start out idyllic. But in the background there are hints that something isn\u2019t quite right. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a02.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The music builds with intensity. You know something is about to happen, but not what or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24418,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-the-idea-that-there-is-no-fear-in-love-applies-to-all-loving-relationships\/","url_meta":{"origin":24032,"position":3},"title":"Does the idea that there is no fear in love applies to all loving relationships?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 1, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to learn what the verse I John 4:18 is all about. Does this speak of our love for God or for our brothers and sisters? Or can this also apply to a relationship between lovers? My friend quoted this verse to me saying that when you are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14370,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/perfect-love-casts-out-fear\/","url_meta":{"origin":24032,"position":4},"title":"Perfect Love Casts Out Fear","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: I John 4:17-21 \u00a0 I.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Fear is an instinctive emotion \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0It arises from a need to preserve ourselves, to keep us protected. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a01.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Fears of job loss, serious illness, difficult problems may each cause us to fear. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a02.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We don\u2019t fear when we don\u2019t perceive a danger II.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Fear\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":90279,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/darkness\/","url_meta":{"origin":24032,"position":5},"title":"Darkness","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 9, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Zeke Flores There's something about it that's foreboding, frightening, and ... dark. Lying alone in the dark can be a dreadful thing. In the darkness, our insecurities find an outlet. We lie awake staring into the blackness, playing our failures in our minds over and over again like a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/darkness-300x199.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}