Hello,<\/p>\n
Thank you for all of the work that you do to inform people about what the Bible has to say about various matters.<\/p>\n
I need some help trying to understand my role in a situation dealing with my mother. I have a 70-year-old mother who is physically disabled (she has all of her mental\/reasoning capacities) and has been hoarding in her home ever since I was a girl. She\u2019s widowed and I have a brother who also checks in on her daily. Her hoarding and lifestyle are a problem. Recently I learned from my brother that neighbors have been questioning her health and safety, they\u2019ve been knocking on the door (she won\u2019t answer). She has had accidents. My brother believes there were fleas in the house and other infestations in the bathroom. There are entire rooms, hallways, and doors blocked off by clutter. The main living area and essential functions of the kitchen and one bathroom work. There are boxes and items that line the areas over which she has even tripped and fallen in the past.<\/p>\n
Over the years, I have tried unsuccessfully to get her to let me clean and sort for her. She has refused. Five years ago, she banned me from entering the house because she did not like me coming in and cleaning up the kitchen or bathroom. After learning about the flea incident from my brother a few weeks back, I went ahead and entered the home for the first time in five years. Over the past couple of weeks, I\u2019ve had several conversations with her and family members to try to get her to let us help her. She needs assistance with bathing, and basic daily functions as it\u2019s difficult for her to stand. She also needs to get her house in order so that she doesn\u2019t fall. If she doesn\u2019t allow us to help, the only other option is to seek help from Adult Protective Services, but she has told me that if I go this route, she will disown me. I don\u2019t know what the correct thing to do is. My brother is adamantly against getting any authorities involved because he is generally opposed to formal authorities.<\/p>\n
I know my Mom doesn\u2019t want my help. She tells me it\u2019s disrespectful and not my place. By the way, I\u2019m a woman in my thirties with a family and home of her own. I know she is prideful, onery, and private about her home and life. But I feel that it\u2019s the right thing to do to help my mother who is growing older and less physically functional. I\u2019m scared and I\u2019m not sure how to move forward.<\/p>\n
Please offer any advice or guidance as it would be so helpful to me. Thank you so much.<\/p>\n\t
Strangely, I was speaking to someone else last night who is facing a very similar situation. The problem at the moment is that you really don’t know what your options are. Therefore, I would suggest either finding a lawyer who specializes in assisting the elderly or a social service worker and talking with them about what you can legally do for your mother. The answer might be that there is nothing that can be done without her permission, or there might be options where someone can intervene. Once you know the options, you can discuss these with your brother and decide which would work best for your family.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hello, Thank you for all of the work that you do to inform people about what the Bible has to say about various matters. I need some help trying to understand my role in a situation dealing with my mother. I have a 70-year-old mother who is physically disabled (she has all of her…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[508],"class_list":["post-23389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-mental-illness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13277,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-address-hoarding-with-a-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":23389,"position":0},"title":"How do I address hoarding with a Christian?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 16, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My question is: What scriptural references can I use to address a shopping addiction and hoarding in a Christian? We have addressed the issue with my mother but with no progress so I want to make sure we aren\u2019t missing anything scriptural when attempting to address all of the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37792,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-get-panic-attacks-thinking-about-my-toxic-mother\/","url_meta":{"origin":23389,"position":1},"title":"I get panic attacks thinking about my toxic mother","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: As far as I can remember my mother has been someone I just can't get along with, and, no, it's not just another teenager ranting how her mother doesn't approve of her choice of clothes, it's something deeper. My mother has meted out all kinds of behavior to me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21843,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-just-leave-my-family-problems-behind\/","url_meta":{"origin":23389,"position":2},"title":"Should I just leave my family problems behind?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 24, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I\u2019ve been trying to figure out what I should do with my mom. We aren\u2019t in good terms for almost two years now due to some differences we have in life and decision making. Last year, I decided to move out and want to live independently since I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35307,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-honor-a-bipolar-mother-and-an-autistic-brother\/","url_meta":{"origin":23389,"position":3},"title":"How do you honor a bipolar mother and an autistic brother?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm trying to follow the whole honor thy mother and father thing. My father is not around and my mom is hard to deal with. She and I argue sometimes, but she is also skitzo and bipolar. She seems like she's a normal person, but she told me I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":50214,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-far-do-we-help-with-the-wedding-of-a-young-man-who-got-a-girl-pregnant\/","url_meta":{"origin":23389,"position":4},"title":"How far do we help with the wedding of a young man who got a girl pregnant?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 19, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother, how are you? I have a question for you, but first, let me give you some context.\u00a0I am a Spanish-speaking minister who works with an English-speaking church that meets in the same building. There is a sister in the church who has always come to church. She\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":92672,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-son-is-communicating-with-his-unrepentant-mother\/","url_meta":{"origin":23389,"position":5},"title":"My son is communicating with his unrepentant mother","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 18, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Brother Hamilton, Good evening, Brother. I'm writing to you because I am dealing with complex family matters and need prayer, wisdom, and book-chapter-and-verse guidance. Recently, I learned that my eldest son has been in communication with his mother, who remains unrepentant. 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