Good afternoon Brother Hamilton,<\/p>\n
First of all, I want to thank you for your wonderful service in maintaining such a great resource for us to learn from. Your website has truly helped and aided me in my Christian walk.<\/p>\n
I am a sister in Christ. Let me give you some background.<\/p>\n
My husband and I both grew up in the body in our youth but fell away. We got married a while ago and become baptized believers several years ago. We have children together. Our oldest son is a child I had as a teenager with someone else.<\/p>\n
My husband and I have raised him together. My husband is on his birth certificate. His biological father has seen him only a few times his entire life and never showed any interest in knowing him. The last time he saw our son, our son told us he spit in his face. Our son has graduated from high school.<\/p>\n
Yesterday evening, our doorbell rang, I didn\u2019t recognize the person and asked who he was.\u00a0He preceded to ask for our son by name. I thought it could have been a friend from school, but then he mentioned his biological father was looking for him. His biological father didn\u2019t even have the nerve to come up to the door himself. They left a number on a package that was at my door. It was addressed to my son from his biological father.<\/p>\n
My husband and I are in a dilemma. We don\u2019t know what to do. It\u2019s causing some friction between us, and I feel as if he\u2019s blaming this on me. We both feel like the biological father has crossed the line by coming to our house unexpectedly. He has a long criminal record, which concerns me. I don\u2019t know what his true intentions may be. We don\u2019t even know how he found our address.<\/p>\n
Brother Hamilton, what do you advise us to do? Please help us with some sound biblical advice as I know you do. I pray to hear from you soon.<\/p>\n\t
Your son is old enough that he should be a part of any decision made. At his age, if he wanted to contact his father, there would not be anything legally against it.<\/p>\n
In regards to locating you, that would not be difficult since the biological father knows your names and likely knows the region you live within. Property records are typically public. Given the timing, he might have seen the boy’s name in a list of recent graduates.<\/p>\n
If your son doesn’t want to talk to his biological father, then he can simply not call him and toss out the phone number. If the biological father tries again to contact him, let him know that your son declines to speak with him. Politely but firmly state that you do not wish to speak to him again and that any continued effort on his part will be seen as harassment. If he continues, you can go down to the police station and request a restraining order.<\/p>\n
What is missing from all of this is why the biological father wants to speak with the boy. My guess is that he decided to make an attempt to apologize, especially since the last time he spoke with the boy it did not go well. Since he is a ruffian, it could be that he convinced himself that the only reason the boy was against him was that you were raising him. He waited until he was old enough to make his own choices to try to connect with him.<\/p>\n
Whatever the reason, what you and your husband need to remember is that you two are his true parents. You are the ones who raised him. This man is likely a bad influence, but I would trust that your son would know that such people are to be avoided (I Corinthians 15:33).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Good afternoon Brother Hamilton, First of all, I want to thank you for your wonderful service in maintaining such a great resource for us to learn from. Your website has truly helped and aided me in my Christian walk. I am a sister in Christ. Let me give you some background. My husband and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[173,1572],"class_list":["post-22999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-family","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25600,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-we-still-committing-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":22999,"position":0},"title":"Are we still committing adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married for over ten years and left my spouse to be with my current spouse. My current spouse was married and left his spouse to be with me. That was over fifteen years ago. We have no children. I was a Christian in a verbally abusive marriage\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27369,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-doing-right-in-reconciling-with-my-former-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":22999,"position":1},"title":"Am I doing right in reconciling with my former husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, Thank you in advance for reading and answering this question. I have a problem. I got married about 15 years ago to a man I'd been in love with since I was 17 years old. 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A year after we were married, my husband lost his 21-year-old daughter in a car wreck.\u00a0 She left behind a daughter (our granddaughter) who was 18 months old and she lives with her father.\u00a0 I was also very close to his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31020,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-abandoned-me-right-after-the-wedding-can-i-marry-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":22999,"position":3},"title":"My husband abandoned me right after the wedding. Can I marry again?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I married a man five years ago, only for the wrong purposes. He was born in another country, and he needed me to help him with legal documents. 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When I met him, we had a great seven years, after that things went downhill, we left each other several times and then we had our first son, he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31647,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-sex-sinful-when-you-are-separated\/","url_meta":{"origin":22999,"position":5},"title":"Is sex sinful when you are separated?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 7, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've looked over all the answers in the divorce section and haven't been able to find an answer to my question. My husband and I are currently separated because he is going through a midlife crisis of sorts. 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