I found flash drives in my fianc\u00e9’s stuff: one had a hidden folder of photos of family, wallpapers, and a folder named “Girls” with half-naked pictures of women — both anime and movie star. Another flash drive had a New Folder with mixed pictures both half-naked anime photos plus photos of us.<\/p>\n
I confronted my fianc\u00e9 about it, and I don’t understand his explanations or his denial that the pictures aren’t his. Why would he still have the Girls folder after our being together for about ten years and only recently engaged? We have spoken about him watching women and how it makes me feel, to which his response is that he watches, but his mind is elsewhere.<\/p>\n
A couple of years ago I found porn stored on his phone and that was quite a storm.<\/p>\n
What should I do? How do I forgive? How do I forget? How do I trust, when it feels like nothing is changing? How to do the right thing? What is the right thing?<\/p>\n\t
If he had a problem with pornography in the past, I suppose it is possible that he forgot these particular folders since they were not obviously labeled; however, you can check the dates on the files and see when they were last changed. The more likely answer is that he still has a problem with pornography, but had gotten better at hiding his sin.<\/p>\n
Forgiveness comes when he repents of his sin (Luke 17:3-4), but it looks as if he doesn’t wish to admit that he is sinning. When forgiveness does come, it won’t mean that you’ll forget, but rather that you will treat him as if it had not happened. But the reason you are currently struggling is that you are trying to forgive when there hasn’t been any repentance on his part.<\/p>\n
You can tell him that he has to change and that you’ll not be marrying him until he does change. But understand that if he doesn’t change, you’ll have some hard choices to make.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I found flash drives in my fianc\u00e9’s stuff: one had a hidden folder of photos of family, wallpapers, and a folder named “Girls” with half-naked pictures of women — both anime and movie star. Another flash drive had a New Folder with mixed pictures both half-naked anime photos plus photos of us. I confronted…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1571,226,50],"class_list":["post-2285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-forgiveness","tag-pornography","tag-repentance"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":27897,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-dance-with-my-wife-at-home-can-i-have-naked-pictures-of-my-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":0},"title":"Can I dance with my wife at home? Can I have naked pictures of my wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day sir. May God continue to bless you for the good work you are doing. Please kindly help me out with these questions: As a Christian, is it wrong to ask my wife to send me naked photos of her when I am not nearby? I know that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36091,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/sexting-and-pornography-among-early-teens\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":1},"title":"Sexting and Pornography Among Early Teens","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Source: Daniel Martin, \"Sex texts epidemic: Experts warn sharing explicit photos is corrupting children,\"\u00a0Daily Mail Online, 10 December 2012. The news merely confirms what we already knew: the age at which children are being exposed to sex is dropping. The following are interesting quotes pulled from the article. \"Boys and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Issues"","block_context":{"text":"Issues","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/issues\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":982,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-have-sex-on-my-wedding-night\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":2},"title":"How do I have sex on my wedding night?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 28, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: How do I have sex on my first wedding night? Explain with pictures or photos. Answer: What you have requested falls into the realm of pornography. I would recommend the article\u00a0\"A Look at Pornography\"\u00a0for an explanation of why this would be inappropriate. If in the remote chance that you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=pistosbooksan-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0310425115","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14041,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-caught-my-son-looking-at-pictures-of-nude-women-and-stimulating-himself\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":3},"title":"I caught my son looking at pictures of nude women and stimulating himself","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a Christian father from Germany. My wife and I try to raise our boys in a Christian and biblical way. I am a member of a small church in Germany. Unfortunately, we don't have homeschooling in our country, so the liberal elements from outside sometimes come to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adolescence"","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32050,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-turn-myself-in-to-the-police\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":4},"title":"Should I turn myself in to the police?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 5, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am a 22-year-old college student and am a strong Christian believer. \u00a0My question is should I turn myself in to the police because of a crime I did when I was 14 or 15. \u00a0Let me explain. \u00a0I had a huge crush on this girl in High\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":85576,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/letter-from-an-inmate\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":5},"title":"Letter from an Inmate","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 12, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by David Gibson In a file folder labeled \"Hypocrisy,\" I found some correspondence I had forgotten all about. It was a letter from an inmate and my reply to his questions. The inmate's letter: There is a whole bunch of guys here who read their Bible and go to church\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2285"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}