I found flash drives in my fianc\u00e9’s stuff: one had a hidden folder of photos of family, wallpapers, and a folder named “Girls” with half-naked pictures of women — both anime and movie star. Another flash drive had a New Folder with mixed pictures both half-naked anime photos plus photos of us.<\/p>\n
I confronted my fianc\u00e9 about it, and I don’t understand his explanations or his denial that the pictures aren’t his. Why would he still have the Girls folder after our being together for about ten years and only recently engaged? We have spoken about him watching women and how it makes me feel, to which his response is that he watches, but his mind is elsewhere.<\/p>\n
A couple of years ago I found porn stored on his phone and that was quite a storm.<\/p>\n
What should I do? How do I forgive? How do I forget? How do I trust, when it feels like nothing is changing? How to do the right thing? What is the right thing?<\/p>\n\t
If he had a problem with pornography in the past, I suppose it is possible that he forgot these particular folders since they were not obviously labeled; however, you can check the dates on the files and see when they were last changed. The more likely answer is that he still has a problem with pornography, but had gotten better at hiding his sin.<\/p>\n
Forgiveness comes when he repents of his sin (Luke 17:3-4), but it looks as if he doesn’t wish to admit that he is sinning. When forgiveness does come, it won’t mean that you’ll forget, but rather that you will treat him as if it had not happened. But the reason you are currently struggling is that you are trying to forgive when there hasn’t been any repentance on his part.<\/p>\n
You can tell him that he has to change and that you’ll not be marrying him until he does change. But understand that if he doesn’t change, you’ll have some hard choices to make.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I found flash drives in my fianc\u00e9’s stuff: one had a hidden folder of photos of family, wallpapers, and a folder named “Girls” with half-naked pictures of women — both anime and movie star. Another flash drive had a New Folder with mixed pictures both half-naked anime photos plus photos of us. I confronted…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1571,226,50],"class_list":["post-2285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-forgiveness","tag-pornography","tag-repentance"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":36091,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/sexting-and-pornography-among-early-teens\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":0},"title":"Sexting and Pornography Among Early Teens","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Source: Daniel Martin, \"Sex texts epidemic: Experts warn sharing explicit photos is corrupting children,\"\u00a0Daily Mail Online, 10 December 2012. The news merely confirms what we already knew: the age at which children are being exposed to sex is dropping. The following are interesting quotes pulled from the article. \"Boys and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Issues"","block_context":{"text":"Issues","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/issues\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27897,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-dance-with-my-wife-at-home-can-i-have-naked-pictures-of-my-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":1},"title":"Can I dance with my wife at home? Can I have naked pictures of my wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day sir. May God continue to bless you for the good work you are doing. Please kindly help me out with these questions: As a Christian, is it wrong to ask my wife to send me naked photos of her when I am not nearby? I know that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":982,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-have-sex-on-my-wedding-night\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":2},"title":"How do I have sex on my wedding night?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 28, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: How do I have sex on my first wedding night? Explain with pictures or photos. Answer: What you have requested falls into the realm of pornography. I would recommend the article\u00a0\"A Look at Pornography\"\u00a0for an explanation of why this would be inappropriate. If in the remote chance that you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=pistosbooksan-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0310425115","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":33623,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/over-a-quarter-of-all-teens-send-nude-photos-of-themselves\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":3},"title":"Over a Quarter of All Teens Send Nude Photos of Themselves","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Source: \"28% of teens polled send nude photos of selves,\" Bloomberg News, Omaha World-Herald, 2 July 2012. Source: \"New Study Says Nearly 30 Percent of Teens Are Sexting,\" Matthew Grant Anson, American News Report, 2 July 2012. \"In a poll of nearly 1,000 students, 28 percent of teens - over\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Issues"","block_context":{"text":"Issues","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/issues\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42524,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fiancee-found-out-i-had-been-on-a-dating-site-and-broke-up-with-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":4},"title":"My fiancee found out I had been on a dating site and broke up with me","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I messed up my relationship with the one person I love more than anything on this planet. She is one of the kindest and most generous people I've ever met. She treats me so well. I don't deserve her and I know she deserves better than me, but I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":85576,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/letter-from-an-inmate\/","url_meta":{"origin":2285,"position":5},"title":"Letter from an Inmate","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 12, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by David Gibson In a file folder labeled \"Hypocrisy,\" I found some correspondence I had forgotten all about. It was a letter from an inmate and my reply to his questions. The inmate's letter: There is a whole bunch of guys here who read their Bible and go to church\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2285"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}