Good afternoon,<\/p>\n
I\u2019m in my thirties. I have never been intimate with a man. Last month, for the first time I actually had a hard time setting boundaries and was fingered by the man I\u2019m seeing. I\u2019m so upset at myself because I\u2019ve been so steadfast my entire life to do no more than kissing.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m afraid because I was having a hard time resisting that this is considered a willful sin. I truly am having a hard time being celibate, which I was this entire time because I wanted to do things God\u2019s way.<\/p>\n
This only happened once but I am so afraid of going to hell because I believe this is considered fornication.<\/p>\n
I feel like I\u2019m considered a fake Christian and a hypocrite because I know better and just put myself in a situation because I was having such a hard time with this. I really have prayed for my entire life to meet a godly man who would marry me and I wanted to be pure. Intercourse didn\u2019t happen but now I\u2019m just not myself anymore.<\/p>\n\t
No one is resistant to sin (I John 1:8,10). The Bible shows repeatedly that even the heroes of faith succumbed to sin once in a while.<\/p>\n
What you did was wrong. You got involved in sexual touching and while intercourse did not take place, it was a form of fornication. So, are you going to wallow in the misery that you sinned like every other person in this world, or are you going to pick yourself up and work harder at being a Christian? “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity<\/em>” (Proverbs 24:16).<\/p>\n Most sins are willful; that is, most sins are done because we choose to sin. Hebrews 10:26-27 warns that if we willfully choose to continue sinning, then there is no sacrifice for sin. Jesus’ death is for those who turn from sin (I John 1:9; 2:1). Yet, you can still choose to stop sinning.<\/p>\n The simple answer is to get rid of the boyfriend you led you into sin and find a better man to date. In regards to your own sin, change your behavior, change your attitude toward sin, and confess your sins to God.<\/p>\n\t Thank you for the thoughtful response,<\/p>\nMy concern is a couple of things. Many times I hear that people can think they\u2019re Christian (go to church, etc) but will not go to heaven. I\u2019ve heard the term \u2018fake Christian\u2019 and is why at times I\u2019m afraid to make mistakes or say\/do something wrong when I have been trying to follow God throughout my life.\nWhich brings my concern about what recently happened. In Corinthians, it talks about how to not associate with someone who is sexually immoral. The Bible says multiple times that fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God and that God will judge them. I have been repenting from this sin but am afraid of these statements because I had been trying to be a godly woman and turn from sin and faltered despite always trying to turn to Christ.\n\t “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God<\/em>” (I Corinthians 6:9-11).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n There is a difference between “are” and “were.” In Corinth, there were members who once were fornicators, but they changed. Thus, they are no longer fornicators.<\/p>\n From what I gathered, you sinned once. You now realize that you sinned and you’ve changed. But you are refusing to see yourself as a changed woman. You continue to apply to yourself the label for a sin that you have no intention of committing again. Sin does not have to be permanent. Read Ezekiel 18:21-32.<\/p>\n\t Thank you for your help. When I have read that last passage you listed (I Corinthians 6:9-11), I\u2019ve always been concerned about this one:<\/p>\n “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven<\/em>” (Matthew 7:21)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Who is being turned away in this Scripture?\u00a0How do I know I will enter the kingdom of Heaven and not be one turned away because of a past mistake that happened once, that I repented from and did not repeat? I think I have always had a fear of being turned away because of this scripture.<\/p>\n Thank you.<\/p>\n\t When you are uncertain of the meaning of a verse, the first thing you need to look at is its context:<\/p>\n “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you who practice lawlessness’<\/em>” (Matthew 7:21-23).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Jesus is talking to people who\u00a0claim<\/em> to be his followers but are not living in accordance with his commands. In the parallel account, Jesus asked, “Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?<\/em>” (Luke 6:46). This is not talking about people who broke Jesus’ commands at times in the past. We all sin at times (I John 1:8-10). Jesus is talking about people who remain in sin and expect Jesus to save them anyway. They are people who make a practice of committing lawlessness.<\/p>\n What it really comes down to is that you don’t fully believe that Jesus is able to forgive sins. You think he is like other people who say they forgive while continuing to hold the past against a person. God is not a man.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Good afternoon, I\u2019m in my thirties. I have never been intimate with a man. Last month, for the first time I actually had a hard time setting boundaries and was fingered by the man I\u2019m seeing. I\u2019m so upset at myself because I\u2019ve been so steadfast my entire life to do no more than…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1571,1572,203],"class_list":["post-22446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-forgiveness","tag-fornication","tag-sexual-touching"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49992,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-feel-hopeless-because-i-had-sex-with-more-than-one-guy\/","url_meta":{"origin":22446,"position":0},"title":"I feel hopeless because I had sex with more than one guy","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good Morning, I've been having a really hard time dealing with my past and my relationship. My ex-boyfriend of several years and I broke up. I lost sight of the Lord and I sinned. I had sex with other people, and I am full of so much guilt and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48855,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-afraid-of-being-in-a-relationship\/","url_meta":{"origin":22446,"position":1},"title":"I’m afraid of being in a relationship","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 25, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day sir, I appreciate all you do to help people. Most importantly you do this only to please God and not man. I am in my 30s and I know I should be married by now. A major factor for being unmarried yet is nuclear family financial responsibilities.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":86563,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/it-is-hard-to-find-a-christian-to-date\/","url_meta":{"origin":22446,"position":2},"title":"It is hard to find a Christian to date","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 11, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: To Whom It May Concern, I am a 27-year-old male, never married, and have no children. I'm single and am a member of a local church of Christ. My question is regarding relationships. There are no opportunities for me to date where I am a member. I want to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33444,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-forgive-a-husband-who-doesnt-seem-to-be-changing\/","url_meta":{"origin":22446,"position":3},"title":"How do I forgive a husband who doesn’t seem to be changing?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: How do I forgive my husband who keeps committing the same sins against me and God repeatedly? He claims to be a Christian but it is hardly seen in him in anything he does outside of the church. He neglects his family by being very mean, selfish, and angry\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15822,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-love-him-too-much\/","url_meta":{"origin":22446,"position":4},"title":"Did I love him too much?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 20, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I\u00a0just turned 21 years old and I\u00a0have\u00a0been through a lot. Life has not always\u00a0been easy for me.\u00a0I want to be saved and do the right things to make it in heaven.\u00a0I am a Christian. Lately,\u00a0I have been reading the bible on my own because I want to know and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":50848,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-see-myself-as-someone-who-is-fake\/","url_meta":{"origin":22446,"position":5},"title":"I see myself as someone who is fake","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi Jeffrey, I just read your answer to \"I have a hard time controlling my thoughts. I'm scared I might not be saved,\" and I was wondering: how do we fix the intentions of our heart, so we will have true godly intentions? Rather than OCD, I have ADHD,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22446"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22446\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Question:<\/h2>\n
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