{"id":22114,"date":"2010-03-08T19:21:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-09T01:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=22114"},"modified":"2020-05-04T19:24:29","modified_gmt":"2020-05-05T00:24:29","slug":"why-dont-my-parents-treat-me-as-an-adult","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-dont-my-parents-treat-me-as-an-adult\/","title":{"rendered":"Why don&#8217;t my parents treat me as an adult?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I am planning to drive to a large city for a big lectureship at a congregation there. I have never driven in a large city. I am in my early twenties and still live in my parents&#8217; house because I don&#8217;t have the money to rent an apartment. I am a recent college graduate. I have been praying that my parents will allow me to attend this lectureship. My parents still treat me like a child and won&#8217;t accept the fact that I am an adult. They keep on ruling and planning my life. I cannot make my own decisions. My mother is unfaithful and my dad is not a Christian. There is not much I can do about it because discussing the Bible with them does no good.<\/p>\n<p>What should I do if my parents tell me that I can&#8217;t go to the lectureship? How should I respond to it? I am an adult.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>So when are you going to start accepting responsibility as an adult? If you own the car, you simply mention to your parents: I will be going over to such-and-such a place, staying at so-and-so house and I&#8217;ll be back on such-and-such a date. There is no asking permission because you are an adult and there is no permission needed from your parents. If you don&#8217;t own the car, then you ask if you might borrow their car for the trip. If the answer is no, you figure out another way to get there: rent a car, take a bus, or find someone else going the same way. Notice the permission you seek in such a case is not whether you go but whether you might borrow what is owned by another.<\/p>\n<p>When you don&#8217;t act as an adult, it shouldn&#8217;t be surprising to find you aren&#8217;t treated as an adult. You can make your own decisions, but first, you have to stop giving your decisions to other people. Why let a non-Christian and an unfaithful Christian make your choices for you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I am planning to drive to a large city for a big lectureship at a congregation there. I have never driven in a large city. I am in my early twenties and still live in my parents&#8217; house because I don&#8217;t have the money to rent an apartment. I am a recent college graduate.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[763,173,1509,354],"class_list":["post-22114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-decisions","tag-family","tag-parents","tag-responsibility"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43658,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-mother-thinks-im-too-young-to-get-married-must-i-obey-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":22114,"position":0},"title":"My mother thinks I&#8217;m too young to get married. Must I obey her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, I am 21 years old, born again and spirit-filled. I'm currently in a relationship with a Christian sister, who is also born again and Spirit-filled. She is 18 years old. Though our relationship is based on the Word of God, we have the don't and the do's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34521,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-know-weve-sinned-but-my-parents-are-controlling-my-life-shouldnt-i-be-able-to-make-my-own-decisions\/","url_meta":{"origin":22114,"position":1},"title":"I know we&#8217;ve sinned, but my parents are controlling my life. Shouldn&#8217;t I be able to make my own decisions?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I had sex with my boyfriend about 2 months after we got together. We were friends for about a year before we became a couple. I'm 28 and he is 30 years old. We are both Christians. I'm from a Christian family, but he is not. He has been\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29496,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-adults-need-to-honor-their-parents-by-obeying-them\/","url_meta":{"origin":22114,"position":2},"title":"Do adults need to honor their parents by obeying them?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 11, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read your take on the commandment\u00a0Honor thy father and thy mother and noticed that you used the word \"child\" and \"children\" quite a few times. So is your interpretation\u00a0to obey isolated to children who have not reached independent legal adulthood or does it imply that even the adults\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":53074,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-join-the-military-but-my-parents-object\/","url_meta":{"origin":22114,"position":3},"title":"I want to join the military, but my parents object","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm 17 years old and am about to graduate. Recently I have been given the opportunity to either go into the military or attended a university. I'm wanting to go into the military. My reason is that I want to help protect the U.S. from foreign dangers, but my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":90121,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-girl-ive-been-talking-to-is-starting-to-believe-in-jesus-what-do-i-do-now\/","url_meta":{"origin":22114,"position":4},"title":"A girl I&#8217;ve been talking to is starting to believe in Jesus. What do I do now?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 5, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I am a Christian who came from a Hindu family and believe in Jesus Christ. I have a friend at my workplace. She is Hindu, and I wish to marry her. I introduced Jesus to her. She has now begun to secretly believe in him, and she has\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12589,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-parents-dont-like-my-boyfriend-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":22114,"position":5},"title":"My parents don&#8217;t like my boyfriend. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 26, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been in a relationship for 10 months, planning on marriage soon. My boyfriend and I are saved. We are from churches that are different from each other. My parents do not like him for reasons I see as critical and a bit judgmental. I am 25 and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22114"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22114\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}