{"id":21120,"date":"2009-11-30T21:43:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-01T03:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=21120"},"modified":"2020-03-26T21:46:25","modified_gmt":"2020-03-27T02:46:25","slug":"what-if-your-spouse-left-you-what-do-you-do-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-if-your-spouse-left-you-what-do-you-do-now\/","title":{"rendered":"What if your spouse left you? What do you do now?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I have read your article about &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-divorce-a-sin\/\">Is divorce a sin?<\/a>&#8221;\u00a0\u00a0 I have one question:<\/p>\n<p>What if your spouse left you?\u00a0I was not a fornicator and begged him not to divorce me.\u00a0We were married for nearly ten years.\u00a0I have been divorced now for over five years now.\u00a0I was baptized last year and have been struggling with the issue of remarriage.\u00a0I am in love with a man who is a Christian and a wonderful father.\u00a0He is a widow.<\/p>\n<p>My husband got a woman pregnant after he divorced me and then married her.\u00a0This left me with no means of reconciliation.<\/p>\n<p>What do I do now?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>Please understand that my duty is to explain what God has said, not to make everyone happy about the laws. Yes, people make all sorts of messes in the world. Some we cause to ourselves, others are caused by someone else. The fact is that your ex-husband sinned both against God and you. His sin impacted your life.<\/p>\n<p>God wants people to understand that covenants, like the marriage covenant, are extremely serious matters. We lost that view in our society and that, too, is making a mess of people&#8217;s lives. The laws God laid down is that marriage is a lifetime commitment. &#8220;<em>For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man<\/em>&#8221; (Romans 7:2-3). In general, if that marriage ends prior to the death of one of the partners, they must honor the vows they had made. &#8220;<em>Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife<\/em>&#8221; (I Corinthians 7:10-11). Jesus gave one exception to this general rule: If the marriage ends because the other partner was committing fornication, then (by implication) the innocent partner can marry again. &#8220;<em>And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery<\/em>&#8221; (Matthew 19:9).<\/p>\n<p>You are not the only one to find this shockingly restrictive. When the disciples heard it, they thought making a marriage covenant wasn&#8217;t worth it. &#8220;<em>His disciples said to Him, &#8216;If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry&#8217;<\/em>&#8221; (Matthew 19:10). Jesus&#8217; response was: &#8220;<em>All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother&#8217;s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven&#8217;s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it<\/em>&#8221; (Matthew 19:11-12).<\/p>\n<p>That is what you have to decide. Do you accept the fact that you made a covenant with a bum who did not keep his vow but left you tied to your own, or do you break your vow knowing that God is going to hold you accountable to your word? I know what my choice would be, but you must make your own choice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I have read your article about &#8220;Is divorce a sin?&#8221;\u00a0\u00a0 I have one question: What if your spouse left you?\u00a0I was not a fornicator and begged him not to divorce me.\u00a0We were married for nearly ten years.\u00a0I have been divorced now for over five years now.\u00a0I was baptized last year and have been struggling&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-21120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17196,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-divorced-person-remarry-if-adultery-occurred-after-the-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":21120,"position":0},"title":"Can a divorced person remarry if adultery occurred after the divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 5, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If two people are divorced for unbiblical grounds and there is no adultery at the time, yet one spouse after the divorce marries someone else or is sexually immoral is the other then free to remarry another? Answer: \"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14935,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-after-being-divorced-a-person-found-out-that-his-spouse-was-married-to-another-at-an-earlier-time-is-he-free-to-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":21120,"position":1},"title":"If, after being divorced, a person found out that his spouse was married to another at an earlier time, is he free to remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 19, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question regarding divorce. If a person marries another knowing the person has been married before but understood this person was divorced scripturally from the first marriage.\u00a0 Years later, trouble begins and one spouse files for divorce. Therefore, leaving the one spouse not free to marry again\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31361,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-it-be-wrong-for-a-divorced-couple-to-have-sex-since-god-doesnt-recognize-their-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":21120,"position":2},"title":"How can it be wrong for a divorced couple to have sex since God doesn&#8217;t recognize their divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 17, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello please enlighten me further: God does not recognize divorce, only our court systems. God sees it still as one flesh under the arranged covenant. But I am confused. What's the consequence of sexual activity between the husband and wife under God's arrangement? Surely this is not deemed fornication,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25600,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-we-still-committing-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":21120,"position":3},"title":"Are we still committing adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married for over ten years and left my spouse to be with my current spouse. My current spouse was married and left his spouse to be with me. That was over fifteen years ago. We have no children. I was a Christian in a verbally abusive marriage\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34297,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-a-woman-do-who-suspects-her-husbands-prior-divorce-was-not-for-scriptural-reasons-like-he-originally-claimed\/","url_meta":{"origin":21120,"position":4},"title":"What should a woman do who suspects her husband&#8217;s prior divorce was not for scriptural reasons like he originally claimed?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a very dear friend of mine who is afraid she may be in an unscriptural marriage. We are both members of the Lord's Church so we both understand what this means. She divorced her first husband due to adultery and remarried her current husband, who is a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-married-a-man-who-was-divorced-because-of-his-adultery-is-our-marriage-ok\/","url_meta":{"origin":21120,"position":5},"title":"I married a man who was divorced because of his adultery. Is our marriage ok?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you do if you are a Christian, have a second marriage, and realize only too late that it was not the will of God?\u00a0 My spouse was a called man of God, but he committed adultery in his first marriage.\u00a0He is no longer preaching, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21120"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21120\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}