I was in a church for 12 years. I left because I was abused there. My two daughters are still there. I am afraid for them. I do not want them trained in this way. Should I tell them the truth?<\/p>\n\t
In some ways, it is hard for me to answer because the charge of “abuse” is vague. I’ve known people who claimed abuse because they were scolded — and correctly so — for their behavior. Others have actually been abused and leave you wondering why they put up with it for so long.<\/p>\n
I’m puzzled because if the abuse was real, why did you leave family members unaware of the problem? As difficult as it might seem, give them the facts of what happened. Keep the account factual and without emotion. Then they can make their own examination and decide whether to go or stay. On your part, you will have to accept their decision. You might not like it if they stay, but at least you gave them information which might aid them in the future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I was in a church for 12 years. I left because I was abused there. My two daughters are still there. I am afraid for them. I do not want them trained in this way. Should I tell them the truth? Answer: In some ways, it is hard for me to answer because the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1105,478],"class_list":["post-20063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-abuse","tag-false-teachers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":51426,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-should-the-problem-of-child-abuse-be-handled\/","url_meta":{"origin":20063,"position":0},"title":"How should the problem of child abuse be handled?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 19, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: There exist two families: A and B. Family A could not conceive a child, so the wife of Mr. A adopted two daughters of Mrs. B, who happened to be her younger sister. Mr. B, the father of the adopted daughters, isn't responsible at all. He neglected all his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":83038,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-didnt-god-rescue-my-friend\/","url_meta":{"origin":20063,"position":1},"title":"Why didn’t God rescue my friend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 8, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a member of the Lord's church and trying to help a coworker and friend. She has become dear to me, and we've studied the Bible a little. I hope to have more studies with her. She has somewhat stumped me with a tough question. She was sexually\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16290,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/so-the-bible-says-its-okay-to-kill-animals-eat-them-wear-their-skins-and-even-abuse-them\/","url_meta":{"origin":20063,"position":2},"title":"So the Bible says it’s okay to kill animals, eat them, wear their skins, and even abuse them?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 6, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: i waz reading the \"animalz rights and christianity\" page ,so the bible is saying that killing all animal's ,eating them ,wearing there skin ,and even if had abused 1 ,its okay? Answer: Typically I edit people's poor grammar and spelling so that their question comes across more clearly. However,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":56378,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-does-discipline-become-abuse\/","url_meta":{"origin":20063,"position":3},"title":"When does discipline become abuse?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 29, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: When does discipline cross the line and become abuse? My cousin hit her son in the chest with a closed fist as a form of discipline. It was her non-dominant hand and not with full force. Admittedly, her son has behavior issues and didn't seem too fazed by my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33626,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/doesnt-telling-children-to-obey-their-parents-enable-abusers\/","url_meta":{"origin":20063,"position":4},"title":"Doesn’t telling children to obey their parents enable abusers?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I completely disagree that you would teach\u00a0obeying parents\u00a0to children or people at your church.\u00a0 Honor does not mean \"obey\" and if a child or adult is being abused by their parent, they should\u00a0not\u00a0obey. You may want to rephrase your messages on your website unless you are enabling abusers within\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34366,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-was-sexually-abused-as-a-child-and-now-the-idea-of-sex-with-a-man-scares-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":20063,"position":5},"title":"I was sexually abused as a child and now the idea of sex with a man scares me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I first want to say that I think it is awesome that you guys are answering questions like this. Anyway, I kind of have two questions and they require a little bit of back story. When I was about 8, I was involved in this group that we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20063"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20063\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}