{"id":19497,"date":"2009-07-20T21:19:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-21T02:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=19497"},"modified":"2020-01-31T21:23:09","modified_gmt":"2020-02-01T03:23:09","slug":"my-fifteen-year-old-is-staying-out-to-all-hours-of-the-night-what-do-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fifteen-year-old-is-staying-out-to-all-hours-of-the-night-what-do-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"My fifteen-year-old is staying out to all hours of the night. What do I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>The reason I type this question is that I have a 15-year-old son. He has been acting up over the last 2 to 3 months. He has always been a well-behaved lad. But over the last few months, he has been getting in with the wrong crowd at his high school. His grades are going down and he going out till 3 am in the morning. Who knows what he is up to.<\/p>\n<p>We have tried taking his things away and we have not given him any more pocket money. But it isn&#8217;t doing any good. My wife has spoken to me about spanking him, but I don&#8217;t really want to. I have never needed to spank him before, but since he has been getting involved with some people at his school, his behavior has had a huge turn for the worst. He is an only child. We gave him everything and we have taken things from him.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>I recommend reserving spanking for times when a child is violent or willfully defiant. What you describe is neither of these things. You describe yourselves as parents who are wishy-washy in your expectations of your son. Who is in charge of your household? You or your son?<\/p>\n<p>Establish a reasonable time for your son to be home, say 11 pm or whatever works for your household. If he is not in by that time he loses the privileges of going anywhere for one week.<\/p>\n<p>He is probably into drugs or alcohol as well. If he comes home late, then require that he takes a comprehensive drug test. If he fails, enroll him immediately in a drug rehabilitation program.<\/p>\n<p>He is old enough that he doesn&#8217;t need spending money from his parents. If he wants something, hand him the classified ads for jobs in the area.<\/p>\n<p>Whether you see improvement or not, you must be consistent with what you ask of him and what the consequences are for violating the rules of the house.<\/p>\n<p>He will likely try to push the two of you to see if this is for real. If he continues to leave despite the curfew, a spanking would be appropriate. But also consider taking his house keys and tell him the doors will be locked at the given curfew time. Meanwhile, make arrangements with a trusted friend or even a nearby homeless shelter. When you lock the door and he isn&#8217;t home, attach a note to the door that says where he can go to spend the night. If he has any intelligence, he will get the message really quickly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: The reason I type this question is that I have a 15-year-old son. He has been acting up over the last 2 to 3 months. He has always been a well-behaved lad. But over the last few months, he has been getting in with the wrong crowd at his high school. His grades are&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,1028,1034],"tags":[665,29,107,395],"class_list":["post-19497","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","category-parenting","category-teenager","tag-child-rearing","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children","tag-teenagers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41362,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/our-son-is-getting-into-trouble-and-we-dont-what-else-to-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":19497,"position":0},"title":"Our son is getting into trouble and we don&#8217;t what else to do","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My 17-year-old son has some issues. My wife and I have raised him in the church since he was a baby. We thought we taught him well until he became 15. At 15, he seemed to forget everything that we taught him. He secretly became involved with a 23-year-old\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":59452,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-normal-for-an-eight-year-old-boy-to-be-touching-himself\/","url_meta":{"origin":19497,"position":1},"title":"Is it normal for an eight-year-old boy to be touching himself?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 22, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: We have custody of an 8-year-old boy. During the first six years of his life, he was exposed to drugs, sex, filthy language, compulsive lying, and a lot of antisocial behavior from his mother and other adults in his life. He frequently puts his hands down his pants out\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Childhood&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Childhood","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/childhood\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37767,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-16-year-old-is-being-disrespectful\/","url_meta":{"origin":19497,"position":2},"title":"My 16-year-old is being disrespectful","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a 16-year-old son who has been very disrespectful in this household. It's all because he asked if he could stay with a friend one night and I told him yes. But I called to check on him, and he had gone to a party that had alcohol.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15077,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-14-year-old-has-become-rude-a-poor-student-and-mean-to-his-younger-brother-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":19497,"position":3},"title":"My 14-year-old has become rude, a poor student, and mean to his younger brother. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 12, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a fourteen-year-old son. In the past year, he has become very verbally rude. He is not doing well in school. He cannot get along with his little brother, who is seven. He used to be so sweet and loving and now I'm so worried about him. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48680,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-one-year-old-son-refuses-to-apologize-for-hitting\/","url_meta":{"origin":19497,"position":4},"title":"My one-year-old son refuses to apologize for hitting","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 13, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear sir, I have a toddler boy who is one year and eight months old. He is my first child. Recently he is learning to speak. I noticed that when he hits family or other toddlers, no matter knowingly or unknowingly, he refuses to apologize. Even worse, he will\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13852,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-do-the-right-thing-by-spanking-my-child-for-pushing-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":19497,"position":5},"title":"Did I do the right thing by spanking my child for pushing me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question. My youngest son is 4 years old. Yesterday he pushed me and said some bad words. I was upset and I asked him to apologize, but\u00a0he didn't. Today his misbehavior returned. He did the same thing. I\u00a0took him to his room, but he\u00a0yelled, so I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Childhood&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Childhood","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/childhood\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19497","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19497"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19497\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19497"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19497"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19497"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}