{"id":19214,"date":"2009-06-22T21:45:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-23T02:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=19214"},"modified":"2020-01-28T21:53:56","modified_gmt":"2020-01-29T03:53:56","slug":"what-should-i-do-for-an-ex-christian-who-is-trying-to-care-for-a-grandchild","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-i-do-for-an-ex-christian-who-is-trying-to-care-for-a-grandchild\/","title":{"rendered":"What should I do for an ex-Christian who is trying to care for a grandchild?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

I am helping an elderly lady financially, who has taken on her granddaughter.\u00a0 Her granddaughter’s dad was killed and her mom lost custody due to drugs. I suppose she is considered an orphan.\u00a0 I discussed with grandmom the need to become a Christian.\u00a0 She said she was baptized into the Lord’s church years ago and understood the need to return.\u00a0 I told her I would give her gas money, if needed, to attend church. She attended a few times but hasn’t been back in a couple of months.\u00a0\u00a0Since December, I have given her easily over $1000 for rent or electricity.\u00a0 Now she is wanting $400 for rent. I see no end in sight for her financial needs to be met. \u00a0She has a part-time job and her daughter is drawing a disability check.\u00a0 Is it my Christian duty to support this lady?\u00a0 I would feel better about the situation if I knew this is what God expects of me.\u00a0 I am in education, which will give you an idea of my income.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

You’ve made two mistakes. A too common practice in the denominations is to offer “incentives” to get people to come to church. Yet the only thing God has offered to draw people is the gospel. “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the prophets, ‘And they shall all be taught by God.’ Therefore everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to Me<\/em>” (John 6:44-45). But when people don’t respond, some want to “help” God along by offering something else. That was the mistake the rich man made.<\/p>\n

“Then he said, ‘I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.’ Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’ And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead’<\/em>” (Luke 16:27-31).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You are seeing the truth of this statement. Even with a paid way to services, this woman chooses not to come. Consider the points made in the article “Did Jesus Use Carnal Methods to Attract Crowds?<\/a>“<\/p>\n

The command “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world<\/em>” (James 1:27) contains deeper meaning that simply throwing money at a problem and hoping it will go away. Helping this woman find a better paying job or finding the child a place to stay so the woman could work longer hours would go further to help solve the problem. What is happening instead is that she is now factoring in your gifts as part of her income in determining how much to spend each month. If you want to help a poor family in this manner by your own free will, that’s fine; but it appears you can’t and you’re feeling trapped. Gifts are supposed to come from the excess God has given to us. “Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need<\/em>” (Ephesians 4:28).<\/p>\n

Sadly, this woman told you that she has left the church, which explains a lot about her raising a daughter who became a drug addict. Do things that benefit the child instead, who is the innocent victim in this tragedy. I don’t know how old the child is, but see that clothing is provided. Offer rides to church. Find things the child needs and arrange to get them. That is what “visit” actually means. Get involved in the child’s life enough to see that his needs are met. If grandma isn’t able to support the child, then offer to help her find a home for the child.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I am helping an elderly lady financially, who has taken on her granddaughter.\u00a0 Her granddaughter’s dad was killed and her mom lost custody due to drugs. I suppose she is considered an orphan.\u00a0 I discussed with grandmom the need to become a Christian.\u00a0 She said she was baptized into the Lord’s church years ago…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[194,152,254],"class_list":["post-19214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-benevolence","tag-social-activities","tag-withdrawal"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":36562,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-marry-a-christian-but-there-is-a-girl-who-attends-a-different-religion-whom-im-interested-in-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":19214,"position":0},"title":"I want to marry a Christian, but there is a girl who attends a different religion whom I’m interested in. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I grew up in the church my entire life. My dad is a preacher. I say all of that to give you a quick background. I have been dating a girl for about a month now and have really started to like her. The thing is, when she was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":92523,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-a-family-member-who-is-not-helping-herself\/","url_meta":{"origin":19214,"position":1},"title":"How do I help a family member who is not helping herself?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 8, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello! I would like to know what the biblical approach to this problem is. My husband and I are newly married. We're just about getting by with our bills and debts with both of our incomes. At the same time, we're trying to save for his green card process,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25515,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-we-do-about-a-sister-who-left-after-being-a-christian-for-a-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":19214,"position":2},"title":"What do we do about a sister who left after being a Christian for a year?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 11, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have another question that has been bothering me for a while. A sister in Christ left the church for a reason that I am still confused about. She became a Christian about a year ago and seemed really happy about her decision. She was faithful, committed, and opened\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":54614,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-friend-leave-her-husband-so-she-can-worship-the-christ\/","url_meta":{"origin":19214,"position":3},"title":"Should my friend leave her husband so she can worship the Christ?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Brother, Greetings in the name of Jesus Christ. This question is regarding my colleague. She was born in a Hindu family but accepted Jesus in her youth. Her parents did not allow her to marry a Christian, so she married a Hindu, concealing the fact that she was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42828,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-interested-in-a-girl-but-i-dont-know-if-she-is-a-christian-or-not\/","url_meta":{"origin":19214,"position":4},"title":"I’m interested in a girl, but I don’t know if she is a Christian or not","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I do a lot of theatre in my area and a few months ago I did a show. During this show, I met a girl. She and I had to wait with each other for our cues in the same hallway during one song, so we talked a little\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":50214,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-far-do-we-help-with-the-wedding-of-a-young-man-who-got-a-girl-pregnant\/","url_meta":{"origin":19214,"position":5},"title":"How far do we help with the wedding of a young man who got a girl pregnant?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 19, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother, how are you? I have a question for you, but first, let me give you some context.\u00a0I am a Spanish-speaking minister who works with an English-speaking church that meets in the same building. There is a sister in the church who has always come to church. She\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19214"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19214\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}