I have read your answers concerning honoring parents, and I understand that one of the prongs of honoring parents is to obey them. But how far does this prong of obedience apply? I ask because I suffer from obsessive thought patterns, so I have been having many concerns lately. For example, my dad sometimes gets onto me for biting my fingernails. When he does, I stop biting out of deference. However, sometimes in private, I bite them out of nervousness. Afterward, I feel greatly distressed because I feel that I have violated the fourth commandment. Are my fears justified, or am I taking things too far? In other words, must one avoid anything that his parents would disapprove of at all times, or simply obey out of respect when asked?<\/p>\n\t
Let’s start by noting that everyone is under God’s authority. “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God<\/em>” (I Corinthians 11:3). So when it is mentioned that children are to obey their parents it is with the understanding that the parents are asking for things within bounds of what God allows. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right<\/em>” (Ephesians 6:1). The phrase “in the Lord” qualifies the limits of the required obedience.<\/p>\n It is very common for teenagers, especially boys, to go through a phase of being obsessive regarding certain behaviors. It happens as our brains rewire themselves from childhood thought patterns to adult thought patterns. It may be hard to believe at the moment, but you will eventually grow out of it. But part of that growth is the awareness of when we becoming obsessive. When your dad is pointing out that you’re biting your nails, he is helping you become aware of what you are doing. He isn’t trying to embarrass you or make you feel bad. He knows that for you to succeed in life, you need to look well. An adult seen biting his fingernails would appear childish to everyone around him — not to mention that his hands would not look that great. So your dad is reminding you that it is time to put away childish behaviors.<\/p>\n I would hope that you honor his request because you understand that he has your best interest in mind. It isn’t always easy. It is very easy to slip back into old habits when we aren’t thinking. But each time you catch yourself doing it, you ought to remember that it is for the best that you break that habit.<\/p>\n There are going to be times when your parents tell you to do something and you might not understand the “why” of it right then. So long as what is being asked isn’t morally wrong, then you owe your parents the honor of doing as they ask. Later, when the time is more convenient you can always ask them why they ask certain things of you. Learning this will help you when you later become a parent. Though sometimes a parent might not be able to explain himself well, it doesn’t require your agreement before you show your mom or dad respect by doing what they ask of you. Yet, always keep in mind that because you want to honor your parents, it doesn’t mean you can turn off your mind and not be responsible for your actions.<\/p>\n So, rather than obsessing over every little thing, focus on doing the best you can. When you don’t quite make it, pick yourself up and continue on. It is when you don’t care anymore and start purposely ignoring your parents that we would need to have a long talk about your lack of honoring your parents.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I have read your answers concerning honoring parents, and I understand that one of the prongs of honoring parents is to obey them. But how far does this prong of obedience apply? I ask because I suffer from obsessive thought patterns, so I have been having many concerns lately. For example, my dad sometimes…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[173,550],"class_list":["post-18950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-family","tag-honor-your-parents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3542,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-honoring-your-mother-and-father-mean-following-their-religious-beliefs\/","url_meta":{"origin":18950,"position":0},"title":"Does “honoring your mother and father” mean following their religious beliefs?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was just reading\u00a0the essay on your website about \"honoring your father and mother\". I have been doing some research on the meaning of the word \"honor\", and I was wondering if you could answer a question for me, or just give me your opinion? Let's say that a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18013,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/thank-you-for-your-information-on-honoring-your-parents\/","url_meta":{"origin":18950,"position":1},"title":"Thank you for your information on honoring your parents","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 27, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was reading Proverbs and came across Proverbs 20:20.\u00a0 I wanted a more definitive explanation of the verse.\u00a0 Thank you, for\u00a0your detailed information\u00a0and the resources included in the text.\u00a0 I received so much more!\u00a0Sometimes, we think this refers only to young children and teenagers.\u00a0However, reading this text reminds us\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":84778,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/honoring-your-parents\/","url_meta":{"origin":18950,"position":2},"title":"Honoring Your Parents","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 21, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Perry Hall I have two adopted children whom we taught to honor their biological parents by praying for them. The greatest self-respect comes from my character, not theirs. I understand the difficulty of honoring parents who are unworthy. I am also called to love my enemies, and sometimes, that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35748,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-havent-been-respectful-to-my-parents-in-the-past-am-i-condemned-because-of-this\/","url_meta":{"origin":18950,"position":3},"title":"I haven’t been respectful to my parents in the past. Am I condemned because of this?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 8, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings to you. I thank God and the Lord Jesus Christ for His unending love and His grace and mercy that has saved me and had given me life, making me experience the greatness of His love and His righteousness in me. All the glory and honor and praise\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43092,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/honor-your-father-and-mother-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":18950,"position":4},"title":"Honor Your Father and Mother","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 13, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Ephesians 6:1-3 \u00a0 I.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0One of the Ten Commandments of the Old Law is brought to the New Law intact. It is the commandment to honor our parents \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The word \u201chonor\u201d in this passage means to fix a value on something, to consider it a prized\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45788,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-go-to-a-biblical-church-but-my-parents-wont-let-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":18950,"position":5},"title":"I want to go to a biblical church, but my parents won’t let me","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I wanted to ask how will I be able to go to a biblical church? My parents have always gone to a Catholic church, which doesn't follow the biblical teachings (infant baptism, the worship of Mary and saints, saying that good works are the way to be saved,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18950"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18950\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}