I have been judgmental toward my sisters who have had abortions. I know it is wrong, but these horrible thoughts come into my head and when I am around them I get a very evil look on my face (opposite of smiling) and look stern and hateful. My sister was down from Boston about a month ago and we went out to dinner and I know I was not loving. I feel so terrible. I haven’t heard from her since. I feel I really hurt her and that she knows I was judging her. Could you please give me advice as to how I can mend my relationship with her?<\/p>\n\t
So many people misapply Jesus’ statement: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you<\/em>” (Matthew 7:1-2). Judgment is not directly wrong. We have to make decisions (judgments) throughout our lives. But a Christian must make sure that his judgments are righteous. “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment<\/em>” (John 7:24).<\/p>\n What you haven’t said is whether your sisters have repented of their decisions to kill their own children. If they have, then you are holding against them what God has forgiven. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses<\/em>” (Matthew 6:14-15). But if they feel that they have done nothing wrong, then you are sending them mixed signals. You are willing to meet with them, to socialize with them, but you want to condemn them at the same time. If you are uncomfortable sitting down to a meal with an unrepentant murderer, then you ought not to do it. “But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner–not even to eat with such a person<\/em>” (I Corinthians 5:11).<\/p>\n If they ask why you don’t do things with them anymore. Simply and politely tell them that remembering that they aren’t bothered by the death of their own children takes all the joy out of seeing them. If they tell you they repented of that sin, then accept them back into your life and put their sins behind you. “Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins<\/em>” (James 5:19-20). The goal should always be to rescue the sinner. The children are with the Father, what is needed is for their mothers to join them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I have been judgmental toward my sisters who have had abortions. I know it is wrong, but these horrible thoughts come into my head and when I am around them I get a very evil look on my face (opposite of smiling) and look stern and hateful. My sister was down from Boston about…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[28,1571,713],"class_list":["post-18680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-abortion","tag-forgiveness","tag-judging-others"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":64496,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-being-judgmental\/","url_meta":{"origin":18680,"position":0},"title":"Am I being judgmental?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 9, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I had a dear friend who used to preach in the Lord's Church. When his daughter was married, he had an open bar at the reception. I was so upset and shocked. I was told I was judging. Is this something we should warn those we love about? The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32120,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-right-to-say-rest-in-peace-in-regard-to-a-known-sinner\/","url_meta":{"origin":18680,"position":1},"title":"Is it right to say “Rest in Peace” in regard to a known sinner?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I would like to ask a question regarding a statement left by many of my friends, as well as my Christian brothers and sisters in Christ. The statement is \"Rest in Peace\" to Whitney Houston. I know according to the Bible that no one is in Heaven yet. We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46279,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/withdrawing-is-too-judgmental\/","url_meta":{"origin":18680,"position":2},"title":"Withdrawing is too judgmental","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: You said, \"Because he is persisting in his sin, he must be withdrawn from. For a church not to do so is to given permission to sin,\" in A man now attends church as a transgender female. Should he be withdrawn from? I think that is way off. That\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46955,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/judging-with-righteous-judgment\/","url_meta":{"origin":18680,"position":3},"title":"Judging with Righteous Judgment","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 25, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"by Steven Harper The world's favorite Bible passage must surely be\u00a0Matthew 7:1, where Jesus said, \"Judge not, that you be not judged.\" This verse is most often cited when someone points out a sin in the life of another and the accused one is then quick to reveal the depths\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41510,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-is-judging-a-sin\/","url_meta":{"origin":18680,"position":4},"title":"When is judging a sin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 7, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about when judging people becomes a sin. I was thinking about how my friends take the Lord's name in vain sometimes. And I was thinking to myself well if they don't confess then they might not end up where they expect (when they die). Then\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17152,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-family-wont-go-to-church-because-they-think-people-will-judge-them-for-not-attending-how-can-i-get-them-to-go-with-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":18680,"position":5},"title":"My family won’t go to church because they think people will judge them for not attending. How can I get them to go with me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 3, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question to ask you that I do not know how to fully answer.\u00a0 My family members are not convinced that going to church as a family is the best thing for the family. I believe that going to church is important especially as a family, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18680","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18680"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18680\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}