Should a woman deny her husband sex?<\/p>\n\t
“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.<\/i>” (I Corinthians 7:1-5)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
One of the purposes of marriage to give a proper outlet for sexual desire. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge<\/i>” (Hebrews 13:4). “The bed” is a Greek idiom for sexual intercourse. Within marriage intercourse is pure, but outside of marriage, it is sinful, whether before marriage (fornication) or during marriage but with someone who is not your spouse (adultery). Paul advocated marriage as a way to avoid sinful sex.<\/p>\n
Because this is one motivator for marriage, it becomes ridiculous to enter into marriage and then deny your spouse the very thing that helped drive him or her to marriage. Using the imagery of thirst as a synonym for sexual desire, the writer of Proverbs said, “Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love<\/i>” (Proverbs 5:15-19). Sex is to be exclusively available between a husband and wife to quench their desire for sex. But what sense is it to have a well and then refuse any to drink from it? Hence, Paul stated in I Corinthians 7 that neither the husband or wife have authority over their own bodies. When they married they gave themselves over to each other.<\/p>\n
The only exception is when it is by mutual consent and for a limited time. A married person should not be living for themselves but always considering the needs and desires of their spouse. Husbands are told to honor their wives (I Peter 3:7) and wives are told to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33). What respect or honor is being shown when a basic human need is being withheld and used as a club to get personal wishes fulfilled? Who is being selfish? The withholder or the one supposedly in the wrong? Far too often couples use the denial of sex as a weapon to get their own way in other things. One does not solve a wrong by using another wrong. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good<\/i>” (Romans 12:18-21).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Should a woman deny her husband sex? Answer: “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[64,63],"class_list":["post-1779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-marriage","tag-sex"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":48440,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-a-sin-to-have-sex-via-skype-with-your-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":1779,"position":0},"title":"Is it a sin to have sex via Skype with your wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 25, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, Is it a sin to have sex via Skype with your wife when you live far from each other? Answer: Technically, sex isn't taking place since the two of you are not together. What is taking place is that each is masturbating while watching and talking to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3607,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-believe-a-woman-gives-up-her-body-when-she-marries\/","url_meta":{"origin":1779,"position":1},"title":"I don’t believe a woman gives up her body when she marries","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 19, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: When a woman marries a man she becomes his wife; this does not mean that she gives up her body and mind to a man (her husband). Rape can occur in a marriage. 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By the definition of the word \"rape,\" it cannot take place\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33644,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-for-a-woman-to-lust-for-her-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":1779,"position":3},"title":"Is it wrong for a woman to lust for her husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 5, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a sincere question concerning lust. Is it a sin to\u00a0have a strong sexual desire\u00a0for your husband? Adding to that, is it a sin to desire 'rape fantasies' with your husband? I used to have rape fantasies before I married, and now that I'm married, I've often had\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":772,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-spousal-rape-constitute-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":1779,"position":4},"title":"Does spousal rape constitute fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 1, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Does spousal rape constitute fornication, or sexual immorality, thus giving grounds for divorce and remarriage? Answer: Some questions are difficult - not because we cannot clearly state the truth, but because the way the questions are worded cause you to make assumptions that may not be true. A classic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18962,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-to-self-pleasure-while-thinking-of-a-spouse\/","url_meta":{"origin":1779,"position":5},"title":"Is it wrong to self-pleasure while thinking of a spouse?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 2, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am wondering what your opinion is on self-pleasure while thinking of a spouse. It is not adultery because you are married to that person, and I am not sure if lust still applies when you are married. 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