How do you handle people with hot tempers?<\/p>\n\t
The Bible speaks of two types of anger: the quick, fly-off-the-handle, hot-tempered people; and the slow, methodical, vengeance seeking people. Both are dangerous, for different reasons. We are told, “But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth<\/i>” (Colossians 3:8). “Anger” is from the Greek word\u00a0orge<\/i>, the slow-building type of anger. “Wrath” is from the Greek word\u00a0thumos<\/i>, the passionate hot-tempered type of anger. Both are to be avoided by Christians.<\/p>\n
The problem with quick-tempered people is that they don’t think when they get angry. As a result, they rashly do foolish things that they later regret. “A quick-tempered man acts foolishly<\/i>” (Proverbs 14:17). The person so caught up in anger is overwhelmed by their own emotions. “Wrath is cruel and anger a torrent, but who is able to stand before jealousy?<\/i>” (Proverbs 27:4). Therefore, it is near impossible to reason with a quick-tempered person while they are angry. Their mind is not engaged, so reasoning will not work. The best that you can do is first calm them and then reason with them. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger<\/i>” (Proverbs 15:1). Responding to anger with anger only escalates the problem. “An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression<\/i>” (Proverbs 29:22). The initial difficulty is that a quick-tempered man is looking for a fight, so he will not be easily calmed. “A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention<\/i>” (Proverbs 15:18). It takes a lot of love for the angry person to withstand the abuse until they calm down. “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins<\/i>” (Proverbs 10:12).<\/p>\n
One thing that helps is to be able to listen to what other people are saying. “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God<\/i>” (James 1:19-20). Don’t be quick to interject your own opinions because they will only be perceived to be challenges. Instead, quietly feedback responses that let the person know you heard what they said, even if you don’t agree with their conclusion. Once they begin to calm down, you can then broach the reasonableness of their anger. It takes quite a bit of experience to hit just the right balance and to restrain himself from being impacted by another’s anger. “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression<\/i>” (Proverbs 19:11).<\/p>\n
One thing that does not work is shielding a person from the consequences of their anger. “A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again<\/i>” (Proverbs 19:19). Humility is the ultimate long-term solution to a quick temper. But when a person is rescued from their own mistakes, they become arrogant. They see no need to change because they have suffered no great harm.<\/p>\n
One last thing to keep in mind is that flying off the handle is a learned response. “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul<\/i>” (Proverbs 22:24-25). Putting quick-tempered people with other people with the same habits will simply amplify the problem. If at all possible, you are better off isolating a hot-tempered person until they can gain control of themselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: How do you handle people with hot tempers? Answer: The Bible speaks of two types of anger: the quick, fly-off-the-handle, hot-tempered people; and the slow, methodical, vengeance seeking people. Both are dangerous, for different reasons. We are told, “But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1503,1513],"class_list":["post-1745","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-anger","tag-relationships"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":42846,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/angry-words\/","url_meta":{"origin":1745,"position":0},"title":"Angry Words","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 17, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Ephesians 4:25-5:2 \u00a0 I.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The Bible speaks of two types of anger \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The quick, fly-off-the handle, hot tempered anger \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0B.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The slow, methodical, vengeful anger \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0C.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Both are dangerous for different reasons \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0D.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Colossians 3:8 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a01.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Orge (anger) is the slow building type of anger \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a02.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Thumos (wrath) is the passionate\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24955,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-is-anger-appropriate-and-when-is-it-sinful\/","url_meta":{"origin":1745,"position":1},"title":"When is anger appropriate and when is it sinful?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 10, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've been pondering this for some time, and I'd like to hear your thoughts.\u00a0 When, if ever,\u00a0should we be angry, and if there is such a time, what should we do with that anger?\u00a0 I know that feeling angry is not necessarily a sin (Eph. 4).\u00a0 And I know\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8761,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/anger\/","url_meta":{"origin":1745,"position":2},"title":"Anger","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 31, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton There are many misconceptions about anger in our world. The misunderstandings do not come from a lack of experience with anger. Far too many people have never attempted to control their rage. They have daily experience with anger. The misconceptions about anger come from taking extreme\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/08\/Anger.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24163,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-deal-with-an-easily-angered-father\/","url_meta":{"origin":1745,"position":3},"title":"How do you deal with an easily angered father?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 31, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: How should a Christian deal with a person who is easily angered? Well, let me rephrase that -- how can a Christian deal with a very easily angered father, who is always speaking negatively about people, things, and me? Answer: I'm not certain how old you are, so let\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":63334,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-control-my-emotions\/","url_meta":{"origin":1745,"position":4},"title":"How Can I Control My Emotions?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 14, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jefferson David Tant Adapted from \"Questions Young People Ask\" What's your thought? Is fire good or bad? You probably would say that it depends on the circumstances. On a cold winter night, logs burning in a fireplace can provide warmth. That's good. Uncontrolled, however, the flames can quickly spread\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":94170,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/handle-with-caution\/","url_meta":{"origin":1745,"position":5},"title":"Handle with Caution","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 22, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"by David Gibson Anger, like gasoline, is volatile, explosive, and dangerous. It must be handled with utmost caution.\u00a0In our world today, we are witnessing a volcano of rage, leading to deadly consequences. The Scriptures offer at least two guidelines for managing anger. First, be \"slow to anger; for the anger\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1745","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1745"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1745\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1745"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1745"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1745"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}