{"id":17109,"date":"2008-12-28T17:51:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-28T23:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=17109"},"modified":"2019-12-20T17:56:43","modified_gmt":"2019-12-20T23:56:43","slug":"let-me-give-you-a-real-story-of-the-problems-i-see","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/let-me-give-you-a-real-story-of-the-problems-i-see\/","title":{"rendered":"Let me give you a real story of the problems I see"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Three members of a church of Christ have been shunning two others for two years for reasons unknown.<\/li>\n<li>One member spreads unfounded gossip about another woman using vile language. She later asked for forgiveness but never apologized.<\/li>\n<li>Some members lack the courtesy to say, &#8220;Good morning,&#8221; nine out of ten times.<\/li>\n<li>The minister, a widower, has a girlfriend who sticks to him like glue. They travel together everywhere. It could be platonic but does not look cool.<\/li>\n<li>My wife did not attend for three weeks due to illness. The minister did not call even once.<\/li>\n<li>There are groupies who have the same personalities and others are being ignored.<\/li>\n<li>Heaven forbid if you are an attractive looking, well-dressed woman but have done nothing but good and generous deeds to the very same ones.<\/li>\n<li>Heaven forbid you are a foreign-born member with a different, but a better understanding of the English language and blunt about issues.<\/li>\n<li>Most of these folks are old and have been members of the Church of Christ for 40 or more years.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Now to my observations. We push doctrines, no music, alcohol is bad, etc. We do not teach Christ, self-examinations, or love to a brother.<\/p>\n<p>What I think of these folks has no effect. What does the Master think? Is it a wonder there is no growth? We receive your gospel minutes and should you use some of my concerns I will be identified. Frankly, I don&#8217;t care. We still go there to worship and give the Lord our best. and leave early to be with others who seem to understand love, tolerance, politeness much better.<\/p>\n<p>I just gave you a real story.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>I have no idea where you attend, or who you thought you were addressing. You reference &#8220;your gospel minutes&#8221; but since I don&#8217;t send out any, I know you haven&#8217;t reached whomever you thought you were writing to.<\/p>\n<p>But none of that matters. The reason you have no growth in your congregation is because of people like yourself who grumble and complain. You seek faults and find plenty of them, but you do nothing to seek solutions. See the lesson, &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-nature-of-criticism\/\">The Nature of Criticism<\/a>&#8221; and &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ten-rules-for-improving-the-church\/\">Ten Rules for Improving the Church<\/a>&#8221; for more details.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>You just proved my point. Your address was the wrong one. You are just like so many stiff-necked preachers of the old school. You know it all except Christ. You think I am the problem. Thank you for your compliment. You have bigger ones. The lack of compassion, love, and concern are only 3.<\/p>\n<p>Good day. Please do not respond. You don&#8217;t have the qualifications.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<em>Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you<\/em>&#8221; (Matthew 5:11-12).<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you<\/em>&#8221; (Titus 2:15).<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?<\/em>&#8221; (James 4:11-12).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Three members of a church of Christ have been shunning two others for two years for reasons unknown. One member spreads unfounded gossip about another woman using vile language. She later asked for forgiveness but never apologized. Some members lack the courtesy to say, &#8220;Good morning,&#8221; nine out of ten times. The minister, a&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1039],"class_list":["post-17109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-complaints"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":37798,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-a-divisive-non-member-be-told-not-to-come-to-worship\/","url_meta":{"origin":17109,"position":0},"title":"Should a divisive non-member be told not to come to worship?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a member of a church where there is a split of our church family. This revolves around a man (who is\u00a0not\u00a0a member) who has attended this church as a visitor for many years. He stirs up discord within the church habitually. There was a recent incident of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39947,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/was-the-church-right-to-withdraw-from-a-couple-who-lived-together-without-being-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":17109,"position":1},"title":"Was the church right to withdraw from a couple who lived together without being married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband and I are faithful members of the Lord's church. We are active in a congregation in which a situation has occurred which has caused division in the congregation. The situation is this: a man and a woman who have been baptized and are members of the Lord's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":82273,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/stop-the-anonymous-complaints\/","url_meta":{"origin":17109,"position":2},"title":"Stop the Anonymous Complaints","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 21, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"by Brad Harrub How can we strengthen our local congregations? Stop allowing members to hide behind the elders and instead encourage reconciliation. Teach members how to confront other members in the spirit of humility, mercy, and love. I cannot tell you how often I've heard elders confront members or the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49601,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-a-sin-not-to-go-to-a-wedding-or-baby-shower-or-graduation\/","url_meta":{"origin":17109,"position":3},"title":"Is it a sin not to go to a wedding or baby shower or graduation?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 14, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, \"And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it\" (I Corinthians 12:26). The latter part of this verse speaks of when a brother in the body of Christ rejoices, you are to rejoice with him.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":95334,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/visitor-or-member\/","url_meta":{"origin":17109,"position":4},"title":"Visitor or Member?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 30, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"by Terry Wane Benton Many congregations are made up of workers who pitch in to help the local church grow in edification and meaningful fellowship in the work and worship of God. They try to be involved in teaching classes, preparing communion, cleaning the building, hosting meals for other members,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42434,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-housekeeper-has-been-stealing-from-her-employer-should-the-matter-be-brought-to-the-elders-or-the-police\/","url_meta":{"origin":17109,"position":5},"title":"A housekeeper has been stealing from her employer. Should the matter be brought to the elders or the police?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good evening Brother Hamilton, I know that the use of the courts to settle disputes between the brethren is, at best, frowned upon during normal circumstances. However, for actual crimes, is it appropriate to press charges rather than using the eldership to confront the individual? I ask because an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17109"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17109\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}