I read your site with interest and as a Christian, I go to if often for advice. I wonder if you might be able to help me.<\/p>\n
I am 30 years old and have recently got into trouble at work and I seem to be having real discipline problems, as though I’m a rebellious teenager again. I know this has to stop, but I just can’t help myself. When I was in trouble as a teenager I know I benefited from the odd spanking. My question is am I too old to receive one now as I think it might shock me into learning some self-control? I know it would be really humiliating but I think if I could confess my sins and be punished for them it may help. Should I talk to my pastor about it, do you think he may consider spanking me or, even though I will find it harder, should I confess to the people I have let down and ask them to discipline me? I look forward to hearing from you.<\/p>\n\t
I find it disturbing that there are people who get thrills out of the thought of either physically punishing others or being punished. The technical term for it is “sadomasochism.” A sadist enjoys inflicting pain on another person and a masochist enjoys receiving pain.<\/p>\n
It ought to be clear that sadomasochism is contrary to Christianity. Discipline is needed, but it is viewed as a necessity and not enjoyment. “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it<\/em>” (Hebrews 12:11). When a person asks for punishment, it is an indication of a problem because punishment works as a disincentive. It is because a person wishes to avoid the punishment that he makes changes in his life. When a person desires punishment, he won’t make changes.<\/p>\n All the way through the Bible you will see that chastisement is used as a wake-up call that change is necessary. The person needing the change doesn’t agree. He is content to continue as he is. It is the person with authority, such as God with us, or a parent with a child, or a government with a criminal, who decides if and when some sort of punishment should be inflicted in order to bring about a change in a person.<\/p>\n The masochist turns this around. The one being punished decides he should be punished and seeks it out. But if a person truly realizes he is wrong, then the proper response is to change one’s behavior to no longer be wrong.<\/p>\n Let’s suppose your claim was actually true, that you were acting like a rebellious teenager in the office. That behavior will bring about punishment by the boss who is in authority. He will put you on notice and if the behavior isn’t changed, he will fire you. That is the chastisement you, as an adult, receive for your wrongful behavior. If you learn the lesson, you will change your behavior in order to retain employment. Nothing else is needed or as effective because the punishment is out of your hands. You can’t call for what you will accept or when you will receive it.<\/p>\n You should speak to your minister because he needs to help you learn that what you are seeking is not proper. You need help, but not in the form of physical punishment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I read your site with interest and as a Christian, I go to if often for advice. I wonder if you might be able to help me. I am 30 years old and have recently got into trouble at work and I seem to be having real discipline problems, as though I’m a rebellious…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[108],"class_list":["post-16981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-spanking"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9346,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-reason-for-the-silly-questions-regarding-spanking-is-because-some-people-are-annoyed-at-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":16981,"position":0},"title":"The reason for the silly questions regarding spanking is because some people are annoyed at you","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 7, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I wanted to let you know that there is probably a reason you are receiving so many weird questions about spanking. There is an online community for adults who are interested in pursuing spanking relationships, domestic discipline, and Christian domestic discipline, etc. Somehow, one of your responses made it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3684,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-get-over-the-embarrassment-of-spanking-a-teenager\/","url_meta":{"origin":16981,"position":1},"title":"How do you get over the embarrassment of spanking a teenager?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 10, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I'm a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I've been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. Mostly because I'm uptight about male\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10035,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-a-parent-spank-a-teenage-athlete\/","url_meta":{"origin":16981,"position":2},"title":"How can a parent spank a teenage athlete?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 29, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have read some of the responses to Christian parents questions on spanking their children and teenagers. Many of my friends have trouble with their teenagers and often think of using it. The thing is what would a parent do with a teenager who is athletic, a soccer player,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14011,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-be-the-punishment-for-breaking-a-window-accidentally\/","url_meta":{"origin":16981,"position":3},"title":"What should be the punishment for breaking a window accidentally?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3757,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-series-of-questions-about-spanking\/","url_meta":{"origin":16981,"position":4},"title":"A series of questions about spanking","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: At what age does a father stop spanking his boy? I mean do you spank until he's 21 if he's still living with you? Do you spank a 13-year-old boy any differently from a 5-year-old boy? Clothed behind versus bare behind How often does one spank the boy? If\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22288,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-not-certain-if-i-could-spank-a-child-im-watching\/","url_meta":{"origin":16981,"position":5},"title":"I’m not certain if I could spank a child I’m watching","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 22, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm a young Christian lady (27 years old) who watches an 11-year-old boy on a regular basis. His parents will go on a two-month trip and have asked me to move into their home and take care of him while they are gone. I will be happy to do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16981"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16981\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}