{"id":16843,"date":"2008-11-13T21:16:00","date_gmt":"2008-11-14T03:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=16843"},"modified":"2019-12-15T21:19:15","modified_gmt":"2019-12-16T03:19:15","slug":"if-two-people-commit-fornication-should-they-be-forced-to-marry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-two-people-commit-fornication-should-they-be-forced-to-marry\/","title":{"rendered":"If two people commit fornication, should they be forced to marry?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

I was wondering if we today should apply this law in the Old Testament.<\/p>\n

“And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins” (Exodus 22:16-17).<\/p>\n

“If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days” (Deuteronomy 22:28-29).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It’s not talking about rape, rape had another law to it.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

Christians do not live under the Old Law, so there is no requirement to follow the rules and regulations found therein. See “Why We Don’t Follow the Old Testament<\/a>” for more details.<\/p>\n

However, the Old Testament is still from God and there are many ideas, principles, and examples found in its pages that can teach us much about life. “For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope<\/em>” (Romans 15:4). Obviously the rule is good and one we ought to seriously consider.<\/p>\n

In the past, people did apply this to life. It is what gave rise to the “shotgun weddings” that we heard about in the distant past. Society used to acknowledge that fornication was wrong and when a couple was found to be committing fornication, it was expected by society that the man “do right” by the woman he used.<\/p>\n

But for this to happen in our current society, a\u00a0lot<\/strong>\u00a0of attitudes toward promiscuous sex would have to change for it to be effective. Notice that even if the man did not marry the woman because her father didn’t like him, the man still was required to pay a fine in the form of the dowry price.<\/p>\n

We don’t use dowries today, and with that, we lost the sense that it is a privilege for a man to marry a woman. A silver shekel was worth what an unskilled laborer could earn in 40 days of work. So the typical dowry price would be roughly what an unskilled laborer could earn in seven years (assuming he had to live on some of his earnings). Think of how attitudes toward marriage would change if society expected a man to work seven years for the privilege of marrying the woman he loved. And think how a young man would think twice before having sex with a young woman if he knew that he would be in debt for seven years if he was caught and possibly forced to marry the young woman with no possibility of a divorce from her.<\/p>\n

But the realities of the moment is that our society has made fornication and adultery legal in most cases. Marriage is viewed as a convenience and divorce is available to anyone married for any reason. These immoral attitudes toward sex and marriage make the laws you found impossible to enforce. Even though they are wise laws that effectively discouraged fornication in ancient Israel, they would not work in our current society because of our society’s lax attitude toward sin.<\/p>\n

However, it does mean that when dealing with two Christians who have committed fornication, I would strongly consider urging the people involved to marry (and I have done so in the past) unless there is something about the situation or people that lead me to believe they are unsuitable marriage partners.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I was wondering if we today should apply this law in the Old Testament. “And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572,64],"class_list":["post-16843","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32283,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/was-a-woman-forced-to-marry-her-rapist\/","url_meta":{"origin":16843,"position":0},"title":"Was a woman forced to marry her rapist?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: So in Deuteronomy 22:28-29, it says \"If a man finds a girl, a virgin not engaged, and lays hold on her, and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1929,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-rape-within-a-marriage-lead-to-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":16843,"position":1},"title":"Does rape within a marriage lead to divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 18, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Does rape within a marriage lead to the marriage ending in divorce? Answer: Spousal Rape If by \"rape within a marriage\" you are referring to the recent concept of spousal rape, then I must object to the terminology. By the definition of the word \"rape,\" it cannot take place\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45916,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-isnt-rape-called-an-abomination\/","url_meta":{"origin":16843,"position":2},"title":"Why isn’t rape called an abomination?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This is amazing to me. I've been studying the Bible to see why God favored men over women. I've been trying to find what is an abomination to God and to my amazement there's nothing that says is an abomination to rape a woman. As a woman that's very\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33125,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-there-any-examples-of-a-woman-being-forced-into-a-marriage-that-she-objected-to\/","url_meta":{"origin":16843,"position":3},"title":"Are there any examples of a woman being forced into a marriage that she objected to?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Are there any Old Testament examples where the future wife to be actually objected to the wedding but was forced into it?\u00a0 Just curious because I understand they were treated as property, but just wondering if there examples of a marriage where the wife objected beforehand.\u00a0 I know there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34279,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/islamists-stone-a-couple-engaged-in-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":16843,"position":4},"title":"Islamists Stone a Couple Engaged in Fornication","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 31, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Source:\u00a0\"Islamists in Mali stone young couple to death,\" The New York Times, 31 July 2012 \"Islamists stoned a young couple to death after accusing them of having children outside of marriage, said a local official who was one of several hundred witnesses. ... They were forced into holes about 4\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Issues"","block_context":{"text":"Issues","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/issues\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27442,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wouldnt-it-have-been-a-sin-for-tamar-and-amnon-to-marry\/","url_meta":{"origin":16843,"position":5},"title":"Wouldn’t it have been a sin for Tamar and Amnon to marry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 16, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Was it not a sin for Tamar and Amnon to get married because they were from the same father, even though they had sex? Answer: A difficulty arises when multiple laws are violated at the same time and penalties for these different laws vary. 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